It is an insult to all men...

[kpete]

@jentaub

It is an insult to all men to suggest that "every man" when in high school pinned a girl to a bed, covered her her mouth, and turned up the music to suppress her screams and tried to rape her.


@cbudoffbrown
A lawyer close to the White House said the nomination will not be withdrawn. “No way, not even a hint of it. If anything, it’s the opposite. If somebody can be brought down by accusations like this, then you, me, every man certainly should be worried.” https://politi.co/2D0shDd

12:49 PM - Sep 16, 2018

Link to tweet

[dameatball]

1. No. Not "every man" should be worried...unless they did the same thing.

[Honeycombe8]

32. The implication is that "every man" should be worried that someone makes up something like that.

Whether true or false. This is a fear of some men. I've heard my father express it...that a woman could falsely claim assault or rape, and people assume the man is guilty. I can understand that fear, I guess. If I try. Because I know that most women would not do that...there's nothing in it for them, usually. They are defiled & blamed & crucified more than the man. But there is the occasional case where the woman has lied for some weird reason, or no reason.

So this is the result of having too many men in power in Congress. Although their fear may be understandable, it is only part of the picture, and shouldn't be a controlling factor, IMO. If there were more women in Congress, the men's fear would be rightfully just something to consider rather than the controlling thing.

I'm so glad we're electing more women to all sorts of govt positions.

[dameatball]

33. You make sense. Also these issues go way beyond Congress, as you know.

[mcar]

2. Just said the same to hubby

He literally went, huh.

He never thought about it that way before.

Men need to stop and think about this. It is so insulting to them.

[mountain grammy]

14. Right.. I just asked my husband

if 65 women our age from his past could vouch for his conduct in high school. Huh?

This is an insult to all men. plenty of creeps out there, but most are not. I just have to believe that.

[regnaD kciN]

3. No shit, Sherlock...

Most of us were just hoping to find a girl who'd want to "get to first base" with us. Of course, I spent more time than I'd like in locker rooms, and never heard anyone brag about grabbing women by their pussies, either.

Unfortunately, this is an issue where both sides, politically, have an investment in spreading that narrative: conservatives, because it reinforces their "boys will be boys" meme, and progressives because it reinforces their narrative about "rape culture" being omnipresent. In fact, calling out claims like that coming out of the White House is as likely to get you mocked from the left ("Wow…did you literally just #NotAllMen us?" ) as from the right ("snowflake cuck!" ).

[reACTIONary]

22. +10 !!! nt

[DavidDvorkin]

4. Very true.

[Cary]

5. I do find something insulting about it

I never behaved that way, ever. I never thought about behaving that way. Yet I still find something insulting, and have had conflict with some people here because of it.

[Cary]

6. It's like I despise people who behave that way

And I feel stymied in opposing them.

[dchill]

7. As a man, I just gotta say, "Wow."

What kind of people are in the White House? Oh - that's right.

[ProudLib72]

8. Al Franken, Al Franken, Al Franken

X 10,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000

[dflprincess]

9. I know that some of it was luck

but of all the boys & men I've dated, I never met one that didn't understand what "No" meant. Sure, some were more persistent and some required a firmer "quit it" than others, but never once did they not stop and never once was I afraid of violence from someone I knew.

Yes, some of it was luck, but also indicative that there are more decent guys out there than the other kind. Kavanaugh supporters cannot shrug this off as "boys will be boys" or "everybody did it".

[warmfeet]

35. I think so as well.

I am a guy and I never knew any guys that behaved like this. I know this could also be luck.

[Still In Wisconsin]

10. I remember when Trump claimed his comments were "locker room talk."

That really pissed me off. I played basketball, football, and baseball through high school and football in college at a little D3 school. In all those years I never once heard a guy claim he had the right to grab anyone by the pussy, much less throw her on a bed and rip her clothes off!

[Hermit-The-Prog]

28. gov't of, by, and for assholes

I've never heard that kind of "locker room talk" either. Every coach I talked to, at the time TrumPutin's enablers were making that excuse, told me it would be a fast way off the team and possibly out of the school.

Looks to me like these brat boys want to make their behavior acceptable by stuffing government with their own kind. They need constant reminder that it's not only women who find them disgusting, a helluva lot of us men (with or without wives or daughters) think they're walking, talking assholes as well.

[GulfCoast66]

11. Agreed. Always pisses me off, the whole boys will be boys argument

This boy nor any of my friends did such a thing.

I have actually been involved with stopping something like that from happening in college as have I am sure others.

[lagomorph777]

29. Good ol'boys will be good ol' boys, and they should not be allowed near the wheels of power.

There is a difference between good and evil. The Republican Party is now 100% evil.

[GulfCoast66]

34. The irony: I am sometimes described as a good ole boy!

Southern male. Pick up driving. Boat owner. Hunter. Cowboy boot wearer(in the winter). Can fix about anything.

Some claim I might even have a southern accent!

None of those things make a person incapable of behaving like a decent human being. Nor being a Social Democrat!

Have a nice evening.

[lagomorph777]

44. I wasn't aware of that usage of the term; as a Yankee, my context is very different

My experience is based (I guess) on characters like Boss Hogg and Sheriff Buford T. Justice. Thanks for enlightening me.

[lambchopp59]

12. Yet such lotharios are the same fux who claim the moral high ground

Claiming that my rights as a gay person violate the sanctity of their marriage.

[mr_lebowski]

13. I'm gonna go way out on a limb and say he's trying to imply that Cavanaugh is innocent and the woman

is lying ... Hence the 'accusations' part of the sentence.

Ergo, the actual 'gist' is ... every man has some woman in his past that has some bone to pick and might make up lies about him ...

I mean call me crazy, but ... I'm betting that's the actual implication he's meaning to convey. Not that 'he's guilty of rape, but so are all other men'.

Not saying I agree that ALL men would 'have something to worry about' in this regard, to be clear. Nor is even THAT ... a very cool thing to say. But it's not quite as egregious, IMHO.

[IluvPitties]

24. Most of us have bad experiences with other people.

However, most of us don't get accused of rape.

[mr_lebowski]

30. But the dude doesn't say that ...

People here are reading a different meaning into what he's attempting to convey than what I believe he was meaning ... this is in no small part due to poor wording on his part, and I'm not 'defending' the guy, dude is an (R), so ...

But I do find it a little difficult to believe he would've actually purposefully said, and meant ... what everything here is assuming he said and meant. Not when a reasonable alternate explanation is possible, anyway.

[BamaRefugee]

15. He means "every Republican man should be worried"...

Apparently rape is just part of courtship to them.
Of course, he's leaving out a large percentage of tRump supporters because, you know, the whole "high school" thing...they didn't really experience that.

[ecstatic]

16. That tweet would be a lot more effective had it come

from a man. Just being honest.

[Duppers]

17. Did they defend Al Franken?

Hypocritical assholes.

[rusty quoin]

18. The way I figure it,

almost all of today’s Republicans have done it, condoned it, have been too scared to stop it, or think it is better than a Democrat and accept it.

I have little doubt he did it.

[Frequency Kenneth]

19. Uh-huh, but Kavanaugh will be Confirmed

Just like Clarence Thomas was.

[recovering_democrat]

20. It is an insult to men and women.

I was reading some DU posts in general on this subject and, very frustrated, tried to go to sleep. I could not. So my reply here explains why this is so serious for all of us thai i could not rest

I am over 70, in high school and college early 60s. This may sound silly. But it isnt. On a blind date to a school dance, with a group, my date, being a total idiot, did not understand pierced ears and playfully tried to pull my earring out of my ear. Hurt badly, i screamed.🤣 my friends reacted too. All over.

BUT ya know what??? They all reacted. Because i had screamed because it hurt. And when i thought about this post and all the bull in the media today, i just had to react. It is NOT normal. It should not be debated as to truth or circumstances. This is not a game, it is the Supreme Court!!!

The Me Too stories happened. It is too painful to consider telling such a lie especially since there is such pain in the evil of many insulting replies.

Thanks for your post and others like it. Just throwing in my "2 cents worth". Now i can sleep.

[IluvPitties]

23. I wanted to be liked and get laid, not rape anybody!

Sick people in the GOP. That shit ain't normal.

[MineralMan]

25. Yes. I never did anything like that. I never would have.

The fact is that most men never have. When I was in high school, as in the rest of my life, consent for me meant "enthusiastic participation." Lacking that, nothing happened. Not even a kiss.

That "lawyer close to the White House" must have something in his past that he's worried about. Maybe that should be looked into.

[MaryMagdaline]

26. I hate to accuse his drunk ass friend but I suspect that he

Wrote *Wasted* as a halfass apology or explanation for multiple acts of bad behavior, some of which he does not remember, but fears may have happened. Mark Dodge that is.

[Honeycombe8]

39. Mark Judge? nt

[MaryMagdaline]

40. Yes. Total Freudian slip

[Honeycombe8]

42. LOL! dodge. Good one. nt

[aikoaiko]

27. Not every boy or man, but sadly there was a "seduction model" that was sexual force and rape

maybe still is.

https://www.nytimes.com/1995/02/19/weekinreview/word-for-worda-scholarly-debate-rhett-scarlett-rough-sex-rape-feminists-give.html

[TexasBushwhacker]

31. Thankfully, most men are into consent

After all, don't most of us want an enthusiastic YES as a response to our sexual overtures? The people who must use force are not normal and we should not normalize their behavior, no matter how common it is.

[IronLionZion]

36. A few men have done this to lots of women

but probably most men would never do such a thing to anyone.

Worry about the assholes who seem to think it's normal behavior.

[tymorial]

37. The concern is legitimate even in this scenario it is something completely different

And a different situation entirely.

20 years ago after college I taught private voice and piano lessons before I went back to get my RN. I was 23 and had many children and young women who were my students. Most of the time parents were in the room with me but older students it was rare. If you know anything about vocal coaching, demonstrating and discussing technique can be a physical activity. I never touched a student but I would talk about breath support. I would instruct students to place their hand on their abdomen so they could feel their stomach muscles. I would have them watch my breathing so they could observe how to and now not to breath. I would instruct them on posture, body movement and presence. We would do exercises where they exhale and produce sounds to reduce tension. These are common practices and techniques that I went through myself over the years.

I never had an issue with any of my students but I can imagine a scenario where someone could feel uncomfortable. This is especially so if they are unfamiliar with the process or if they have been abused. If I was accused my intentions as a teacher and method would be questioned even if standard. Even if eventually the situation was resolved, in the immediate I would need to defend myself. Even back then accused men were considered guilty, especially where kids are involved.

This doesnt mean the student would have necessarily acted out of malice but my life could have been ruined. As a point of reference My mothers friend was a piano teacher in the mid 90s and he was accused. I have no idea if it was true but I am guessing not because the student eventually went back according to my mom and today the man is a conductor of a choir.

The gross majority of private teachers and tutors never have problems but the concern and fear is still there. It's why many people now record their sessions and/or require parents to be present when minors are the students. I started to require parents towards the end of my studio. This was long before smart phones, tablets and good webcams. Camcorders were expensive. I lost students because some parents couldnt manage the requirement. It sucked but I wanted to protect myself.

I am sure some of you will think I was over reacting. I am not defending the president or Kavanaugh. This was an entirely different situation. I do however understand the fear.

[Honeycombe8]

41. I understand it.

The large majority of accusations are true, because there's really nothing in it for the female. They are blamed, ridiculed, called names, called "slut," yu name it. But there is the occasional case where the accusation is false, such as with those athletic club guys up north...what was their sport called?

My father and I were discussing something once...a male relative taking a niece out of town on vacation. She was 16. We were discussing that wasn't a good idea. My mind was on the misconception that others at the hotel might have about their relationship, or that even she might have from the most innocent of things he might do. My father's mind, OTOH, was on the fact that she might claim impropriety where there is none, falsely accuse, and he would be assumed guilty.

It wasn't a discussion about one problem with it or the other. It just showed how we naturally saw it differently. So I get it. That is something that can happen to men. It's rare, but it does happen.

I can also guarantee you that some men know that this story is probably true, but in their minds, they don't see it as a big deal. He was drunk, kicking up his heels, young. He did something he shouldn't have. They're like, "He behaved badly as a youth one time, and you're going to ruin his career over that?" Judges, in giving light sentences to rapists, have stated similar things. They don't see assault as a big enough deal to ruin a man's career over.

[MrScorpio]

38. These people really hate women.

It’s like they don’t even consider them t be human fucking beings.

[MarianJack]

43. When I was 17 I was fooling around with a girl.

We were on her bed and I was trying to get her clothes off. When she said stop, I stopped and released all physical contact. I'm sure that if she remembers me at all today, she remembers me as a nice guy who fooled around with her a few times. She would NOT say that I tried to force myself on her because I didn't.

My father, bastard that he is, taught me correctly that when a girl or woman says stop, you stop immediately. I added the releasing all physical contact of my own accord. My son is almost 19. I taught him the same thing and, smart boy that he is (sometimes), he follows it.

Guess what? No girl or woman has ever said that any of us ever sexually assaulted them because we've never given them reason to say so.

RESIST!

[BannonsLiver]

45. Some folks are off the rails

I got accused of being a sexist in another thread because I used the word “kooky”.