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Related: Editorials & Other Articles, Issue Forums, Alliance Forums, Region ForumsThe Rude Pundit: Mitt Romney's Cringe-Inducing Desperation
At some point in the near future, Republican presidential candidate Mitt Romney will be standing in front of a crowd, probably in one of those mythical swing states, like maybe Colorado or Pennsylvania, and, his moussed-hair tousling impossibly perfectly in the breeze, he'll be in the middle of a stump speech when it'll happen. He'll raise his fist at the end of his focus group-tested rolled sleeve arm, and he'll say, "You wanna see how much I want to be president?" And then he'll punch himself in the balls. "Is that enough for you to love me?" he'll say through clenched teeth, and then he'll punch his balls again. He'll stagger a moment, but he'll wave off his assistants and guard. "No," he'll cough, "These people need to know how far I'm willing to go." He'll punch himself again, even harder, and again. He'll double over and vomit from the pain. People in the crowd, who might have laughed at first, will instead become appalled, screaming for him to stop. But, oh, no, he won't. "Is Obama willing to punch his balls bloody for you?" he'll ask before he punches his nuts one last time and passes out.
The press release from the Romney campaign that follows will explain that the governor was demonstrating his deep love for the American people and how he hoped his self-induced testicle pain would unify the country as much as President Obama's hateful rhetoric has divided it.
Absurd, no? Ludicrous, huh? But we have truly reached a point in this increasingly idiotic and meaningless campaign where you can only expect the ridiculous from the Romney/Ryan side. There is a desperation for some kind of traction, which you would expect from a man who couldn't manage more than 30% of the motherfucking crazy base of the GOP in many primaries and almost never broke 50%.
For what is left from Romney that can stick? He's spent the better part of the last few months just outright lying about shit. When you say, for instance, that President Obama ended work requirements for welfare recipients in a memo that clearly says that states can have waivers only if they improve employment outcomes, or, as some might put it, the total opposite of what you claim, then you have lost any credibility. Look at the most recent Romney ad, which features serious-looking old people who are going to be stone cold fucking murdered by Medicare cuts that, even in the most generous, Norquistian definition of "cuts," are not occurring under the Affordable Care Act. (Let's not even get into the fact that Paul Ryan's voucherpalooza would cut the hell out of Medicare. And let's all stop talking about benefits not changing for "people over 55," 'cause that's just bribery.)
Yet, with a straight face, Romney told CBS this morning that it was Obama who was running ads with "divisiveness based upon income, age, ethnicity and so forth."
Now that his pick of the magnificently-nosed Paul Ryan has been about as successful in getting squirrely independents to move their fickle votes to him as his dog-transporting abilities, Romney's campaign has gone total fucking nutzoid. In a speech yesterday that stopped just short of those ball-blows, Romney lost his shit, in a scripted way, when he said, in about as self-reflective statement as he could make, "This is what an angry and desperate Presidency looks like." He was referring to Vice President Joe Biden's remarks that "They're going to put ya'll back in chains," which was probably a reference to Wall Street, which he had just mentioned, or perhaps the Republicans. (At this point, Obama and Biden should just avoid off-the-cuff pronouns so no one can misunderstand them.)
RNC Chair Reince Priebus, who previously had said that Obama "has blood on his hands" for "stealing" from Medicare, said that Biden's words were "shameful." Could we just call a moratorium on attacking each other's metaphors?
Romney continued yesterday, "So, Mr. President, take your campaign of division and anger and hate back to Chicago and let us get about rebuilding and reuniting America." The undercurrent of rage, or, you know, "anger," in that statement is kind of stunning, a childish level of petulance. Stomp your feet more, motherfucker, and maybe Sheldon Adelson will buy you a nice White House.
Of course, if it wasn't for super PAC spending, we probably wouldn't even be dealing with Mitt Romney as the nominee. And, as much as the campaigns try to, wink-wink, distance themselves from their super PACs, we know, we know, we all know. Still, it's kind of hysterical that Romney released an ad directly accusing Obama of making that Priorities USA video that says Bain Capital is responsible for a man's wife's death. Okay, so does that make Romney responsible now for every insane anti-Obama super PAC? Or for whatever Americans With - sorry, For Prosperity pulls from Karl Rove's ass?
There's things we could debate and will about Obama's presidency. There's things that Romney could, but won't. Ultimately, people may agree with Romney that Obama doesn't deserve reelection. But what they seem to agree on more is that Mitt Romney ain't who they want in his place. And no amount of desperate flailing is going to convince them that the unlikeable dick is suddenly their best friend.
http://rudepundit.blogspot.com/2012/08/mitt-romneys-cringe-inducing.html
immoderate
(20,885 posts)It's so Mitt! The only thing we really know about him is his absolute obsession with acquiring the presidency.
--imm
flamingdem
(39,320 posts)Javaman
(62,534 posts)part man all 86
(367 posts)aint_no_life_nowhere
(21,925 posts)Whether or not Obama is shameful, desperate, hateful, angry, has blood on his hands or has any other characteristic thought up by a GOP focus group, WHERE ARE THE RETURNS YOU FUCKING PIECE OF SHIT?
BlueCaliDem
(15,438 posts)to "you people".
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/08/15/ann-romney-tax-returns_n_1778376.html
Where are the TeaBaggers? Why haven't they demanded that R'money produce as many tax returns as President Obama has (12)? Why haven't they demanded Mitt produce his long form BC? You know? To back up their wails that this has nothing to do with racism and all that other bull hurling out of their toothless mouths?
Liberal_in_LA
(44,397 posts)hifiguy
(33,688 posts)Bet on it. The stink of fear is already apparent. The springs and gears will be shooting out of his ears to accompany the steam.
Speck Tater
(10,618 posts)we said for years that Shrub was going to melt down "any day day now" and he never did.
I sure would love to see a televised, public Mittens melt down though.
hifiguy
(33,688 posts)He just was not very bright. One tiny thing I can say in Bush's favor is that he could laugh at himself. Romney is visibly seething with anger and has no sense of humor whatsoever.
Speck Tater
(10,618 posts)He really doesn't like being questioned by mere peasants.
Jeff In Milwaukee
(13,992 posts)Probably help Mitt with his base, though...
PCIntern
(25,578 posts)in his "metaphorical use of an ancient term which is often felt to be pejorative but is, in fact, simply descriptive"...
I can hear those bastards now...
also, Wolf Blitzer: Ahhhh, Mr. aaaah Romneysaidtodaythat ahhhhhh, he thought that ahhhh Obama, that is ahhhhhh President Obama was a....
DCKit
(18,541 posts)They stated that the CBO has determined that both the ACA/current Obama plan and Ryan's post-birth abortion Medicare laws would each save $700 Billion from Medicare, with no impacts on the level of care.
Now, I don't know about the rest of you, but Ryan's plan - $6.5K in "vouchers" (money to pay for private insurance) - is going to go plenty far for some, but not nearly far enough for many, many others. The current Medicare program and any changes under the ACA do not have that limit.
To their credit, the local newscaster seemed to gag a little when reading the GOP fax.