Pretend Conversation in France between Putin and Trump

[MineralMan]

Putin: I am quite disappointed in your recent performance, Donwald. You are not meeting our expectations.

Trump: But, Vlad, I'm doing my best to follow your directions. It's hard, though.

Putin: Your best, my expansive friend, is simply not good enough, it seems.

Trump: I know. I know. Things have not gone as we planned. The election was rigged.

Putin: By whom, Donwald? By whom? Not by us. We kept our hands off this recent election.

Trump: But, Vlad, things are going to turn around. You'll see. I'm getting rid of that Mueller guy.

Putin: He is inconvenient. He knows too much now. You are to do nothing about him. Leave him alone. We will take care of that.

Trump: OK, but what am I supposed to do?

Putin: Resign. You are not the man you pretended to be. You are hardly a man at all. We will have Mr. Pence take over the job you were unable to do properly. He is a boring man, but reliable.

Trump: I won't resign! I won't resign! You can't make me!

Putin: We have made you already, but your flaws make you useless to us. You will resign, or we will release the informatsiya we have.

Trump: You wouldn't dare! I'm very powerful, you know. I can break you, Vlad. I have the power!

Putin: Have you? I think not. You have one week to resign. If you do not, then we will test your puny power. I assure you that you will fail to make even the slightest mark on me or Rossiya.

Trump: But, Vlad...I can't. I just can't. It would make me look like a fool, and I have never looked like a fool.

Putin: Donwald, you have always been a fool. Now, you are MY fool. You will do as I say or you will be sorrowful that you did not.

Trump: If I resign, can I come and live in that dacha you showed me?

Putin: We will see about that, once you resign. We will see...

[mr_lebowski]

1. Awesome MM ...

Did you mean 'expensive friend'?

Also, I have a good addition ... when Trump calls him 'Vlad' ... he should retort "That's "Mr. President" to you, Donwald". MHO

[MineralMan]

2. Nope. Expansive is the word. Trump is nothing if not an expansive man.

Thanks!

[mr_lebowski]

3. Fair enough :)

And ... he's certainly expandING, as well

[MineralMan]

4. That, too. How much more can he expand, though?

[Jeffersons Ghost]

5. Anyone can see Kim Jong-un, not Putin is Trump's boss

And Kim Jong-un answers directly to his boss President Xi Jinping, of China

[MineralMan]

6. No, no...Kim Jong Un is his dream lover.

As Donwald himself said, "We fell in love." Trump is completely smitten by Kim, probably because of his amazing hair and fetching, globular physique. Now, I don't think they've consummated the relationship, and may never do so. But, clearly, Trump has a massive schoolboy-like crush on the North Korean leader. He blushes at the mere thought of him. Kim comes to him in his dreams, in which they dance naked beside a babbling brook. So I am told, anyhow.