Wine Pairings for the Upcoming Indictments
We’ve been waiting so long and the time, at last, is nigh. The big indictments are coming in and that means celebration which, in turn, means drinking. Here for your consideration based on the rule of law and lifelong oenophilia are excellent recommendations for savoring the takedown. Each of these wines has been specially chosen for its nose, its body, its hint of oak and its strong finish of Schadenfreude.
Mike Pence — This indictment’s bold perjury and ample treason remain strong throughout. Its revelations of Christian hypocrisy and immorality call for 4Play, a sensual, perhaps even decadent single grape shiraz from Australia’s Roos Mile vineyards; its plummy oak subtleties with undertones of blackberry and peachy quandong awaken urgings and relaxation, especially in a room with a woman in it.
Jared Kushner — This is a young and brash indictment that shows plenty of ignorance with multiple tones of perjury and a strong violation of the Logan Act. The surprising lack of complexity in the underlying motives only works to make this indictment all the more satisfying. Pair with Vino Porrás, a scintillating Spanish bubbly whose subtlety exceeds its pedigree. Not for amateurs or anyone who revises a security clearance multiple times and still lies.
Ivanka — These felony charges reveal profound complicity in treason and perjury and then veer boldly off into misappropriation of funds, wire fraud, commodities fraud, and tax fraud. The dominating theme of fraudulence suggests a pairing with Fraudemilch, however, an impulsive and fresh choice is Kaldur Glacier, a in-your-face granite-washed Icelandic Brennivin. Clean and bracing, this wine will be especially appealing to women with integrity.
Donald Trump Jr — The perjury at the very core of this indictment carries with it Federal conspiracy to commit treason and soliciting illicit foreign aid for a campaign. The sheer stupidity of this indictment’s afternotes cry out for a humorous pairing with Kool-Aid or Fanta but these would not impart the inebriating celebratory effect most needed at this time and thus, perhaps SugarBro’s Hammerin’ Wine Koolahs whose lack of reason to exist is similar to the accused’s.
https://medium.com/thefungroupgroup/wine-pairings-for-the-upcoming-indictments-e6eee6a21a00
= new reply since forum marked as read
