Farewell Poems for Michelle Bachmann

[Plaid Adder]

In celebration of the end of Michelle Bachmann's candidacy, I call upon my DU brethren and sistren to waft her on her way with a valedictory poem. Here's mine:

Haiku for Michelle Bachmann

In this contest of
the crazy, you were always
the batshittiest

Let's see yours!

[xchrom]

1. du rec. nt

[MilesColtrane]

2. *ahem*

On life's long highway there's no looking back.

Now off to the scrap heap, you crazy-eyed hack.

[oldhippydude]

3. for some reason

i hear the doors .. this the end, this is he end my friend..

[Loge23]

4. In the interest of public safety...

Fundamentally,
you need help seriously,
crazy is not good.

[The Velveteen Ocelot]

5. Hai-coo-coo.

Eyes wide as saucers
Lights are on but no one's home
God's not talking now

[countingbluecars]

6. Haiku for Michelle Bachmann

Tea Party sweetheart
No presidency for you
Not even one term

[Aerows]

7. Another one bites the dust

Another one down
Four Republicans to go
Then they lose big time.

[Ikonoklast]

8. Hmmm. I'll give it a go.

In cold Iowa winter

Religious bigots rejected you

Too nuts even for them.

[muriel_volestrangler]

9. There once was a mad Minnesotan,

Who claimed the Lord's hope she was totin'.
But try as she might
On caucuses' night
For her, no Iowans were votin'.

[Plaid Adder]

20. I like it!

I wanted to do a limerick myself, but could not come up with enough rhymes for "batshit."

The Plaid Adder

[HangOnKids]

10. Michele in the Bushes

Frightened of teh gay
Sniveling in the bushes
Hope you shit your pants


Photo of Michele in the bushes:

http://t1.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcQhrRiYFEZE49Zd-7Ilhp24SWtBaBB-PcOMVZnoHcPicfZE3NhjXw

edit to add photo!

[MoonRiver]

11. Okay

Your fake lashes that swat flies;
Can't compete with your venomous lies.
So long my dear;
You will soon be forgotten, never fear.

[Mira]

12. Limerick

There once was a woman in congress
the thought of her brings me some huge stress
you look into her eyes
and you know she's not wise
yet she wanted to be Presidentress.

When it came to a grasp of our history
she was clueless and made up her own story
she had absolutely no clue
of what really was true
and today she went down with no glory.

[Whisp]

13. Michele Haiku

Benjamin Franklin
Talked to me on Ouija (oh-wee-gee)
Said shut her big gob

[beac]

14. .

Perhaps you were too wise and good
For citizens like these,
Or perhaps an insufficient number
Spoke fluent batshitese.

[KamaAina]

15. Roses are red, violets are blue,

The Cat Lady's not quite as crazy as you!

Violets are blue, roses are red,
Your candidacy is better off dead!

[countingbluecars]

16. Limerick

There once was a gal named Michelle
Whose gaze was as vacant as hell
Claimed Obama's a commie
Yet was beaten by Romney
Now maybe her babbling she'll quell.

[Mira]

18. That's a winner! n/t

[beac]

17. .

Your campaign is broke beyond all mending,
But don’t be sad that it’s all ending,
For now you’ve time to help market Marcus’s
Cure* for naughty boy-on-boy kisses.
*Patent (leather) pending.

[beac]

19. .

Iowans found her
Weird and creepy,
But I bet she still thinks
She can be VP.

[agate50]

21. Fairwell Poem for Crazy-Eyes

That wild-eyed hysteric, Michelle,
Says that gays are all going to hell.
I find it ironic
That bigot iconic
Is certainly going as well!

[RZM]

22. A Haiku

Born there, but no dice
Sixth place isn't that bad
Unless it's out of seven

[unkachuck]

23. Michele, my love....

Roses are red,
Though your campaign was failin',
I'd giving anything to see,
You make it with Palin.