On Being a Happy-Hugging Man

[MineralMan]

I like hugs. Always have. So, how do I decide whom to hug? It's easy. I don't initiate hugs for the first time with anyone, man, woman or child. In any social setting when I'm friends with more than a couple of people, anyone will see that I'm happy to hug, since other friends who know me will engage in a hug with me. So, if someone I've never hugged before offers a hug, I'll be happy to give them one.

But, unless I've hugged someone before, I'll wait until one is offered by someone I haven't hugged previously. It's always for the other person to initiate, at least the first time. That's how I am. It seems to work just fine. I don't encroach on anyone's space who doesn't want the encroachment, but will be happy to participate if that person does want a hug.

As it happens, a lot of people see me hugging others, and do initiate hugs with me, which is wonderful. If they don't, then that's just fine, as well. I always have a hug to give, if it's wanted.

Public figures have it harder. If they have a reputation for hugging, people sort of expect to get a hug, and that can be a difficult situation for public figures to be in. Awkward, even, at times. And then, sometimes if everyone seems to want a hug, it's easy to assume that everyone wants one, even if that's not actually true. That can get you in trouble, sometimes.

My system works pretty well, I think. I get plenty of hugs, but don't have to worry about encroaching on someone's personal space, since I wait for the invitation, unless there is a hugging history with a person.

[luvs2sing]

1. I like that system. nt

[MineralMan]

2. Works fine for me, too.

Of course, I never refuse a hug if one is offered, which makes it easier. It wouldn't work unless you were willing to participate with just about anyone.

The oddest hug I ever got, by far, came from a checker at a local supermarket near my home in California, years ago. It was a small town, and had checkers who had worked there for a long, long time. You sort of made friends with them. Anyhow, a relatively newly-hired checker, a woman in her 20s, was a very chatty person. We often had conversations in the check-out line. One day, she told me about some issue she was having with someone she was involved with. I listened, sympathized, and offered a bit of advice. Once my groceries were bagged and I was about to leave, she came out from behind the cash register and hugged me pretty seriously. I was surprised, but returned the hug in the same way. She was in tears, I realized, when we broke the hug. She said, "Thank you so much for listening!" and went back to work.

Oh, yeah, I was old enough to be her father or uncle. She apparently just needed a hug pretty badly and there I was. It sort of became a habit after that. It made my wife giggle, and she teased me unmercifully about my "new girlfriend." My wife and I almost always shopped together, so she was there, too.

[luvs2sing]

12. My oddest was about a year ago.

We got a new washing machine. The delivery guys were a couple young, Black men, very friendly, very efficient. We had a great chat while they were setting up my new machine and walking me through how to use it. I was their next to last stop, and it was Friday. I wished them a good weekend when they left, walked back to the basement and saw they had left some of their tools in my basement. I had their number in my phone so called right away, and they came back. When I met them in the driveway with their stuff, they both hugged me, and one said, “You are the best person EVER! You saved our lives!”

It made my whole week. And yes, they got a glowing review from me. They would have anyway, they really knew their stuff. The hugs helped, though.

[MineralMan]

13. Great story. Being open to hugs is a worthwhile thing, I think.

I know some people just can't, but hugs are great.

[guillaumeb]

3. Some politicians have a different system. eom

[MineralMan]

4. Would you care to expand on that a little?

Or is your cryptic sentence all you have to offer in this thread? Would you like a hug?

[guillaumeb]

7. No thank you. I do not need a virtual hug.

But thank you for offering.

I actually agree that some people are willing to hug more indiscriminately than others. Some of that is cultural.

I have been working with 3 predominantly Arab/Muslim groups for 2 years. In the beginning, only the men would shake hands. Now, many of the women also shake hands.

[MineralMan]

8. I was not offering one.

[guillaumeb]

9. In that case,

why not?

[MineralMan]

10. I do not hug indiscriminately.

Just happily. I'm selective.

[guillaumeb]

11. Good to know. eom

[Polly Hennessey]

5. I love huggable men.

[MineralMan]

6. I love huggable people.

[panader0]

14. Free Hugs Campaign---buy a tee shirt

https://www.freehugscampaign.org/