Is it hard-wired into humans that they think they'll never get old?

[raccoon]

I know I didn’t think I ever would. I am approaching 70. I’ve talked to several friends who are about my age and they say the same thing.

So I wonder if maybe it isn’t hardwired into people that they irrationally think that getting old is something that’ll never happen to them. Yes, it happened to grandma and grandpa, it happened to mom and dad, but… It’ll never happen to me.

[Vinca]

1. My whole life I've never thought twice about aging until I turned 70 a couple of months ago.

For some reason it's really bothered me. Maybe it's because I can't think of any other person in my family who made it to 80. Just had an aunt kick off at 78. It's all very strange. I hope I find my way back to the delusional self who thinks she's 45 or 50.

[Siwsan]

7. My paternal grandfather and uncle died before they were 53

My maternal grandfather was 97. My aunt was 98. And I have a 2nd cousin who is 104.

I only want to be here for as long as my body and mind can hold their own. My mom (87), her brother (87) and sister (92) died of Alzheimer's. If I've inherited that, as a genetic condition, I hope to be gone before it kicks in.

[shanti]

24. Once you've experienced

a family member with Alzheimer's, you NEVER want that to happen to yourself!

[area51]

35. +1 n/t

[Roland99]

40. When I hit 50, age finally started really getting to me

My dad and father-in-law both had passed the previous fall.

Then the kids still at home started graduating from high school (youngest now wrapping up 7th grade)

And the last couple of years mortality has taken up residence in my head more than it should

Find myself melancholy and nostalgic (the 80s are 40 years old next year!) a lot more and thinking my only big goal left is retirement (about 17yrs out)

And like the OP posits I keep thinking why do we have to age? I don’t wanna go and the kids not have me around. The world not have me around.

I think trying to refocus that energy into new forms such as creating new goals in life or focus on new and different types of milestones is the way to combat that

[Siwsan]

2. My wise Dad once told me that you can't stop aging, but nobody has to get "old".

I'm lucky to still be healthy, limber, curious, active and feisty as hell.

[unblock]

4. someone once said getting old beats the alternative....

[Siwsan]

8. Most definitely

I've lost 5 close family members, in the last 4 years.

I hate seeing people use tombstones as a 'gag' decoration for people's birthdays.

[unblock]

12. Wow sorry to hear that.

I've only lost one -- sister-in-law, younger than me -- in the last year.

But it's inevitable. My parents are well into their eighties....

[unblock]

3. i'm definitely not wired that way.

i've always felt as old as i was, never felt any urge to lie about my age, never had any illusions of immortality or eternal youth.

i'm 55 and feel 55. i see my body not recovering from minor wounds and bruises as quickly as it did when i was 40, and i can feel typical male changes such as needing to go to the bathroom more... urgently at times....

and i'm well aware that 70 is a quick 15 years away, and i can extrapolate and imagine what my body and mind will likely be like in not too long.

and i'm fine with it all.


mrs. unblock thinks i'm a freak, though....

[UniteFightBack]

5. Yes I remember thinking that but in the early 40's reality sets in and it doesn't get any

better. So I'm 47 now and have been concerned about getting old and aging for awhile. Time keeps on slippin, slippin, slippin...into the future.

[Arkansas Granny]

6. You could be onto something. At 72 I know that I am not as physically for as I used to be.

but I don't feel old. I have some aches and pains, but for the most part I feel good and I rarely get sick. I haven't even had a cold this winter. It surprises me sometimes to realize that I'm considered to be "elderly".

[BigDemVoter]

9. Nobody ever thinks they'll get old and die.

I never did. But I do now, and it isn't a particularly fun idea! Ugh.

[Ferrets are Cool]

10. It only began to sink in after 50 or so...

The first thing to go was my quick reflexes. When I would stumble, I couldn't catch myself as quickly as earlier in life. It only gets worse.

[The Genealogist]

11. I knew I was going to get old

Aging just seems to have happened so quickly. I am 45 and it seems like yesterday that I graduated from high school. The last 15 years or so seem like a blur.

[world wide wally]

13. I have always said that getting old is better than the alternative.

[drmeow]

14. Its not that you don't think you will ever get old

so much as you think it is really, really far away and you think you won't change or be affected by it.

[Trenzalore]

15. I hit 40 this year

Up to about 5 years ago I never really thought about it. Now when I see an older person at the bar I go to I realize that will be me some day because I look about what my parents looked like when I was a child and they are that age now.

[VOX]

16. It's weird to hit 70. There's no denying that you've reached "seniorhood"...

And every time I look in the mirror, there’s a kindly old gent on the other side, staring back at me.

It’s sobering that one’s time remaining “above ground” is being chewed up so quickly, falling away in clumps of years. My dad died suddenly at age 68, so I’ve already had two more years (and counting) of life than he did. I’ve also outlived three of my closest friends so far.

It gets weirder. As the years and decades stack up, you realize that you’re of a certain vintage and that one day (sooner than later), it’ll be “your turn.” My wife’s first husband had his turn a couple years back, at age 66. Had a little chest pain, and suddenly, that was that— he died on the way to the hospital.

As I say, the 70-year mark seems to be a significant psychic signpost. It’s a reminder that, if you’ve got anything left to do or see on this strange planet, the time to do so is NOW, as this theme-park of a world will be closing in the not too distant future.

[llmart]

20. I agree with you that 70 is a real rude awakening.

I'm always thinking about if I'm going to travel I better do it now because every day something new aches or I see myself moving slower. I am still surprised that I can't walk as fast as I used to. It's the realization that you've lived the majority of your life. There is no getting around that. It's crossing another name and address out of your address book because one more friend, family member, neighbor has died.

I have always had a real sense of mortality, even my own because my parents died at young ages. My mother was 55 and my father was 60. I've also lost two siblings. I have lived the majority of my life with the nagging notion in my mind that I need to cherish every single moment because of this. I refuse to waste any remaining time on useless pursuits that others my age just do out of lifelong habits. I don't allow any toxic people in my life either - doesn't really matter who they are. I have no time for that nonsense or the drama people.

[VOX]

28. Your point about "toxic people" is wise, and I've started doing that as well.

And I now steer clear of anyone who sucks the energy out of the room; I find them intolerable and a ripping time-waster.

And I’m on the same page regarding travel. No major aches and pains yet, other than some hearing loss. So if my wife and I have places that we want to visit (and we do), it’s not going to get any easier than NOW.

Take care—

[malaise]

17. I repeat this truth with regularity

to friends and family. When they keep up the BS about aging, I ask them about all our dead relatives and friends. I keep telling them that the fundamental philosophical truth is that everything that lives will die. Way too many folks can't accept that simple truth despite the fact that our parents and grandparents are long gone and most of us have lost at least one sibling and many friends.

[Beringia]

18. Yes I think so

But I wonder if we aren't hard-wired to not think of ourselves as not having any pitfalls that many others have, a specific kind of lack of empathy for self preservation.

[UTUSN]

19. Joan COLLINS said, "Carpe diem each day like it's your last & one day it *will* be"

That said, I agree with the o.p. because at 72 I still think there's no end in sight, while knowing at some theoretical level that there is.

Plus, besides the canard of a genius/MOZART croaking at 35, I take sharp notice every time somebody my age or younger is in the obits.

Also, I keep being a procrastinator, like I've got all the time in the universe to write that book. And regretting that if I don't nobody (certainly nobody on an internet discussion board) will know or care that I existed. Got to update my Obit to leave a teeny BIT behind. What I use to rationalize is that in the scope of The Universe, nothing I do or don't do won't be a zip of anything.

[Skittles]

21. do you mean you didn't think you'd LIVE to old age

or did you just think you'd grow really old while.....looking like you're 30?

I don't remember ever thinking like that.

[raccoon]

38. I think it was more that I couldn't imagine that much time going by.

I think it was more that I couldn’t imagine that much time going by.

You know how time seems to drag when you’re a kid? A year then is like 10 now. I couldn’t conceive of that many years. to me it was like thinking about geologic time. I couldn’t wrap my head around it.

[Skittles]

45. that right there may be the difference

Last edited Tue Apr 30, 2019, 07:45 PM - Edit history (1)

I moved every year as a child, sometimes twice a year - time did not seem to stand still.....nothing did, really

[JustABozoOnThisBus]

41. Not many of us at 70 look like we're 30. But there are some ...

Trump, for example. Young and vigorous he is. He said that.

Me? Sometimes I like to think my hair still has pigment. Then I see the pure white debris around my chair at the barbershop.

[lunatica]

22. Turning 70 brought attention to aging for me

The main thing is that now I feel the scarcity of the years ahead of me. I never minded aging and I still don’t. I’ve liked every decade of my life. I like being in my 70s and I hope to experience my 80s. Aging and all it represents has been an adventure. I have a sense that my memories are my history and I feel satisfied that I cared about the world and that I loved my people and my pets.

Life is rich if you experience it right.

[shanti]

23. I think not

When I was a young woman, I always said to myself that when I got old, I'd have long, gray hair. Little did I know that just having enough hair to put in a pony tail would be a struggle. 60 was the age when shit really got real. No ER visits until then, and now one every year. Getting old isn't for sissies, but it beats the alternative!

[Laura PourMeADrink]

25. Very true Racoon. And the biggest shock to me was dealing with my parents and

the probability of nursing homes.

Wonder what percentage of the people think Medicare takes care of it? they don't. Only 20 days. I never knew this til now.

No one knows that you are on your own after that - anywhere from $5k to $14 k a month (depending on state). Only poor (Medicaid) and rich can afford that.

But, if you sign over your assets, you can get Medicaid to pay. And don't forget to sign everything over at least 5 years before your parents are in a nursing home or the house that they worked so hard for will be owned by not them.

[marybourg]

36. Sure, we taxpayers will be happy

to pay your parents 5K to 14K a month in nursing home fees that they could have paid, at least for a while, by selling the home they no longer need because now they’re in nursing homes. And hey, weren't they prescient to have known just when they would meet the standard for nursing home care and 5 years before that day, beggar themselves just so they could “get theirs” and go into a great Medicaid nursing home. Great advice!

[Laura PourMeADrink]

43. What a kind and thoughtful response, thanks!

[G_j]

26. Our bodies get old

though the conscious “me” perceives time quite differently.
Looking in the mirror can remedy that sometimes..

[Horse with no Name]

27. There are a lot of things I love about pushing 60

But I’m not crazy about this season of life.
I’m losing friends, friend’s parents and I’m just not going to handle it well when I lose my Mom.

[BigmanPigman]

29. My dad died suddenly a month ago and I am still in shock.

I was going to do my taxes with him then BOOM! He certainly didn't expect it either. He just turned 85. My parents' 59th anniversary was going to be a week after he died. He had made dinner reservations and just got his car smogged (CA). He walked and talked as fast as me, his memory was as sharp as mine and his mind even sharper. He was thin, exercised, ate right, went to doctors, had below average blood pressure,etc. Then out of the blue he died in his sleep. His parents both died at 84 and 85 but had both been bed ridden in nursing homes for years first. My dad always said that he wanted "quality of life" and I told him that I would buy him a one way ticket to a "euthanasia country" if that is what he wanted when he no longer had quality of life. We never got to that point. I am so sad I can not stand it. I am glad my wonderful, very Dem dad died without pain but man, I am in pain right now. It hurts!

I saw this about a year ago and found it interesting how these two actors thought about aging...

[DontBooVote]

33. Much love to you, BigmanPigman. I lost my mom a few years ago and dad, with his...

...heart problems, is on the bubble and could go any moment. A couple of months ago he found himself picking himself off the ground after having been on a step stool doing some chore outside. That was on Friday afternoon and he didn't report to his doc until Monday (and didn't tell me until 3 weeks had passed). He got his ass chewed out by his doctor and then by me for being so casual about it. When he finally did seek medical care, it was determined he found himself on the ground because an irregular heartbeat set off his implanted defibralator and knocked his ass to the ground. I don't know if he wants to die but he says he wants to stick around.

I wish there's something I could say to help ease your pain but I know there isn't. Hang in there, brother, it gets easier with time.

[BigmanPigman]

37. Thank you.

I wish I could fast forward to the part where it does get easier.

[kskiska]

30. I'm about to turn 75 this summer

and don't feel any different. I guess I'm still in denial. I'm in really good shape, but I do have Type 2 diabetes (no insulin). I don't think of myself as old.

[tavernier]

31. It's not the old that I hated, it was retirement.

Once I went back to work I felt 10 years younger.

[captain queeg]

32. I remember talking to an "old guy" about 20 yrs ago...

He looked me in the eye and asked me what I saw when I looked at him. I didn’t really say anything, and he said an old guy, right? Then he said from the inside looking out nothing was different he felt and thought the way he always had. For some reason that really hit me and stuck with me.

I notice lots of the things others have mentioned, slower reactions and healing, poorer memory, etc but the thing I really notice is how fast the years fly by nowadays. I don’t necessarily feel like days go quicker but the years sure do. My son is just graduating high school. Seemed like he was a toddler a long time but his teen years sure flew by. Same with work. I’m just retiring and have had the same position for about 15 yrs. five times longer at least than any other it sure hasn’t seemed like it.

[Poiuyt]

48. I'm 66 now but have the same feelings that I did when I was 25

I told a friend of my mother's a few years ago that I was 60 but felt like I was 25. She said, "I'm 86, and I feel like I'm 25 too."

[ismnotwasm]

34. No

I’ve always had a strong sense of mortality, knowing that someday this will be over. I love life and being alive. I’m in my 50’s now, but I was a mom at 17 and a grandmother at 38. So what do you do? You roll with what you got.

Aging is not culturally valued, and we have a myriad of ways we avoid it. Either how it looks, or how it feels.

[JI7]

39. it has to do with our memories . the younger we are the fewer memories we have so less time seems

longer. when you are in your 20s just thinking back you were 10-20s . so you went through huge changes.

adult years last longer without much change . you can go 5, 10, 15 + years at the same job unlike when you are young and would go to different schools.

[Akacia]

42. I enjoy being 63 and

think that it is a shame that some people think that people are less than as they age. I have always loved being whatever age I am. Sure my body is not what it used to be but my mind and heart are so much more in tuned to being my true self. I no longer worry about what other people think about me and it is so freeing.

[rsdsharp]

44. Is it hard-wired into humans that they think they'll never get old?

No with my knees!

[PRETZEL]

46. Well, may starts Older Americans Month

https://acl.gov/oam/2019/older-americans-month-2019

You would be suprised just how active seniors are.

For example, our agency in conjunction with the county holds an annual Centennarian Luncheon. This year (our 10th anniversary) we have 145 Centennarians participating.

Next week is the annual Senior Games. There are over 600 registered for various events.

[panader0]

47. If I knew I would live this long, (68), I would've taken

better care of myself. I still feel young--the I pass a mirror and am
disappointed in the reflection.