Trump Says He Has Made Deal to Add Hawaii as Fiftieth State

[Yo_Mama_Been_Loggin]

WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—Donald Trump has reached a groundbreaking deal with the Hawaiian Islands to make them the nation’s fiftieth state, Trump confirmed on Monday.

Calling it “my most incredible deal yet,” Trump said that he had forced Hawaii to bend to his will and “cough up billions” to become a state.

“This is a big win for our country,” Trump told reporters at the White House. “Hawaii is going to be a beautiful and amazing state.”

Just minutes after his announcement, however, there was significant pushback from Hawaii, which claimed that it had already reached a deal to become a state in 1959.

That claim swiftly drew the ire of Trump, who denounced Hawaii’s alleged sixty years of statehood as “fake news” and “disgraceful.”

https://www.newyorker.com/humor/borowitz-report/trump-says-he-has-made-deal-to-add-hawaii-as-fiftieth-state?utm_campaign=aud-dev&utm_source=nl&utm_brand=tny&utm_mailing=TNY_Borowitz_061019&utm_medium=email&bxid=5be9f8cb24c17c6adf0e5d24&cndid=25394153&esrc=&utm_term=TNY_Borowitz

[Gothmog]

1. I love good satire

[Wounded Bear]

3. It's getting harder and harder to find shit to satirize...

the world is getting pretty bizarre as it is.

[struggle4progress]

2. And let's not forget his brilliant idea to celebrate America's birthday on July 4th!

[MBS]

7. Don't get me started on that one.

My blood pressure goes up about 30 points every time I think of his destruction of the nonpartisan 4th celebration in DC.

[FakeNoose]

4. He should have a parade in his honor right through Hawaii

[TheBlackAdder]

5. The title disproved this claim! Trump, no way--no how, could spell 'Fiftieth'

[lunatica]

6. Satire simply can't compete.

We are Idiocracy.

[KY_EnviroGuy]

8. I'm shocked Borowitz didn't write this about the United Kingdom.

He surely struck a huuuuge deal with the Queen for statehood after Brexit..... ......

[SunSeeker]

13. It's a riff on Trump's Mexico deal-- a deal for stuff we already had. nt

[KY_EnviroGuy]

16. Thanks. I missed that perspective.

Bad hair and slow brain day...... ..........

He keeps pulling that crap and getting away with it, including taking credit for things initiated during President Obama's tenure.

The man is amoral as they come, and has the bully pulpit.....

[KG]

9. he wont get credit for it

[rurallib]

10. It is true that Hawaii is not a state

Obama was born there and he wasn't born in this country!

Donny told me hisself!

[SunSeeker]

11. LOL

[UTUSN]

12. BOROWITZ missed, "This will make OBAMA retroactively a U.S. citizen!1"

[yardwork]

14. Perfect.

[karynnj]

15. As only NOW Hawaii will become a state - he and the birthers will claim they were right!

Trump's "great" deals are all made up!

[Scurrilous]

17. ...