The Mountain Dew Defense

[lame54]

http://www.thesmokinggun.com/documents/mouse-in-mountain-dew-563891

Mountain Dew Will Dissolve Rats On Contact
Vet's revolting affidavit details popular soft drink's acidic power

JANUARY 3--Defending itself from a lawsuit claiming that an Illinois man found a dead mouse inside a can of Mountain Dew, PepsiCo contends that a rodent would have disintegrated and been transformed into a “jelly-like” substance between the time of the soft drink’s bottling and the day the plaintiff reportedly purchased the soda from a vending machine at his office...

...According to McGill, if a mouse is submerged in Mountain Dew between four and seven days, the rodent “will have no calcium in its bones and bony structures.” During those days of soft drink immersion, “the mouse’s abdominal structure will rupture.” Additionally, “its cranial cavity (head) is also likely to rupture within that time period,” McGill noted.

After 30 days exposure to Mountain Dew, “all of the mouse’s structures” would have disintegrated to the point that it would not be recognizable. In fact, “the mouse will have been transformed into a ‘jelly-like’ substance.” The only part of the rodent that could possibly survive, added McGill, was “a portion of the tail.”

PepsiCo contends that Ball, 52, opened his can of Mountain Dew 74 days after it was bottled at a PepsiCo facility in St. Louis. The company alleges that Ball has provided “no evidence” that the mouse was inside the can when it was sealed in August 2008...

[Fire Walk With Me]

1. The Mellified Mouse.

Honey. Oh, sugar sugar.