Intelligence Officials Won't Brief Trump on Cyberattacks Against Russia For Fear He Might Get Mad an

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Report: Intelligence Officials Won’t Brief Trump on Cyberattacks Against Russia For Fear He Might Get Mad and Tell Putin

Michael Harriot



It’s not like Trump would understand what they are talking about anyway. They would have to use colored pencils, pop-up books and puppets to give him even a broad understanding of the specifics.

Here’s how I imagine a briefing would go between Donald Trump and Gen. Paul Nakasone, the commander of United States Cyber Command:

Nakasone: Mr. President, here is our plan to introduce malware into the Russian power grid ...

Trump: What kind of wear? All my suits are custom-made by the missing migrant children we’ve hidden in an underground sweatshop beneath Mar-a-Lago. Why should I care what brand of clothes Russians wear? I do like those furry hats, though. Can you get me one of those?

Nakasone: Sir, I’m not talking about clothes. I’m talking about computer code that will spy on Russia and cripple the country.

Trump: OK, tell me more. As you know, I’m one of the world’s greatest computer experts. I beat solitaire two times last night and read two emails that said they had attachments. I lifted the computer off the desk but I didn’t see anything attached to the laptop.. It happens all the time. That’s why I fired Omarosa. I think she was stealing my attachments. You know those people steal all the time, right?

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More here: https://www.theroot.com/report-intelligence-officials-wont-brief-trump-on-cybe-1835560314

Almost funny, if it weren't so true.