Prohibited items at Trump rally

[left-of-center2012]

I signed up for two free tickets (the max) for tomorrow's Trump rally in Rio Rancho, NM.
The arena seats 7,000 - they say there will be 20,000 "in attendance".

Today I got an email which included items not permitted inside the rally.
By the way, I will be a 'no show', so two empty seats you may see in the news are where I am not sitting.

PROHIBITED ITEMS LIST
• Appliances i.e. toasters
• Aerosols
• Alcoholic beverages
• Backpacks, bags, roller bags, suitcases bags exceeding size restrictions (12”x14”x5”)
• Balloons
• Balls
• Banners, signs, placards
• Chairs
• Coolers
• Drones and other unmanned aircraft systems
• Explosives of any kind (including fireworks)
• Glass, thermal and metal containers
• Laser lights and laser pointers
• Mace and/or pepper spray
• Noisemakers, such as air horns, whistles, drums, bullhorns, etc.
• Packages
• Poles, sticks and selfie sticks
• Spray containers
• Structures
• Supports for signs/placards
• Tripods
• Umbrellas
• And any other items that may pose a threat to the security of the event as determined by and at the discretion of the security screeners.

( No link - copied from an email I got)

[TheBlackAdder]

1. Dicks. Dicks are missing from that list. Anyone with dicks visible by the naked eye are banned.

.

They pull down your pants and perform the toadstool test. If 9 or less magnifying glasses are used, you're out.



.

[Marie Marie]

3. If your dick is visible to the naked eye you do not belong at a Trump Rally.

You go right to the Supreme Court.

[TheBlackAdder]

8. Great one! 😂

.

Here's a funny song parody with kick ass lyrics, written on its YouTube post.


Here's just a snippet:

Lyrics:
Boofo, Boofo, the Supreme Court Judge
Everyone hates Buffo, but he’ll never hold a GRUDGE
Boofo, Boofo, the Supreme Court Judge
Little rough at parties, Wouldn’t even think to BUDGE
Shut up you little tease, Turn up the volume

Boofo he inherits Justice Roberts’ legacy
Sitting on judicial complaints except from Donny T.
Ladies, wire coat hangers, what else do you see?
He loves the idea so much, He’ll buy the company.

Oh, and there's talk of beer, ludes, dongs and riding trains too!

.

[Sogo]

2. Guns...no mention of guns? nt

[TheBlackAdder]

5. I think the last one covers guns, without expressly stating it, so they can't be called out on that!

[BigmanPigman]

22. I think you nailed it.

[sheshe2]

4. Guns are allowed?

Not on the list.

[qazplm135]

6. Brains

Ethics
Decency
Hygiene

Also prohibited

[lindysalsagal]

31. my first thought

[torius]

7. They forgot brains

Brains must be left outside the arena. Anyone attempting to bring a brain will be set upon by brain-eating MAGATs.

[The Velveteen Ocelot]

9. Toasters? How odd. I always bring a toaster to political rallies.

Microwaves are too bulky, but in a pinch a toaster oven will do.

[Lulu KC]

26. Thank you!

Someone please explain. What's with the toasters?

[Doreen]

29. OK, I will explain.

I am surprised you did not remember it immediately.

Remember when he claimed the microwaves were rigged to spy on him? Well, they have been upgraded to fit into a toaster that is smaller and less conspicuous.

He can't have a Klan party with a bunch of unnoticeable toasters spying on him.

[Lulu KC]

40. How did I miss that?

Will Google. Thank you.

[Tanuki]

32. My guess is that they are really wanting to exclude small appliances like the

pressure cookers used in the Boston Marathon bombing, but for some reason didn't want to be so explicit, so used "toasters" as an example.

[Lulu KC]

41. Yes--that crossed my mind

and took me to the Theatre of the Absurd, with the toast flying as nails quietly spilled to the floor without enough velocity!

[Historic NY]

10. Nothing about drugs, guns?

[triron]

11. Why did you do that??!!

[left-of-center2012]

16. Do what?

[hatrack]

35. Two guaranteed empty seats

.

[PJMcK]

38. It's always interesting to observe Trump's followers

Beside, there will be two empty seats. No way will there be 20,000 in attendance.

[The Velveteen Ocelot]

12. I see that balls are among the prohibited items.

That figures.

[moondust]

13. Open carry is a God-given right!!!!

[Rstrstx]

14. What on earth does the Trump campaign see in New Mexico? It's on his list of target states

Yet Morning Consult has his net approval rating at -17 there, and if anything they're one of the more optimistic trackers for Trump. He should be more worried about Arizona and Texas. Does he want the state as some sort of trophy prize? Are the voting machines easier to hack there? What am I missing here?

[czarjak]

17. The art of the deal?

[rpannier]

20. Photo op at the border

[Desert grandma]

42. Because they are ignorant.

The last several NM elections have been won by Democrats. In 2000 Al Gore won NM by a very slim 0.06 %, or 356 votes. In 2004 GW Bush beat Kerry here by a very slim margin 0.79 %. The only way for a Republican to win statewide in NM is to have a good showing among Hispanics here. GW had a sister in law who was Hispanic (Jeb's wife) and he was from Texas, a nearby state. Former Gov. Martinez won because she was Hispanic and was running against an Anglo, Dianne Denish, who was Bill Richardson's Lt. Governor. Richardson left office with allegations of corrupt dealings. Northern NM is solid Blue, and Southern NM historically has been Red, except for 2018, when they voted for a Democratic Congresswoman. Central NM (Albuquerque and Santa Fe which are major population centers,) have voted Blue in the past several elections. Rio Rancho, where he is holding his "rally" is a more conservative area. The major population centers, however of this state have voted for Democratic candidates. He is an idiot if he thinks that NM voters will vote for a NY con man. There are not enough rural voters here for him to offset the much larger Hispanic vote IMO.

[greyl]

15. What's the sending email address? nt

[rpannier]

19. No Explosives. But... but... freedom

If I can't bring my box of dynamite, my mace and my four person tent (structures), I'm not going to any of his rallies

[orleans]

21. missing from that list: a conscience n/t

[jmowreader]

23. Y'know, fuck this shit...

It is my God-Given Right to make toast anywhere I damn well please. If I can't bring my favorite Cuisinart Toaster into that damn rally, I'm not going.

[smirkymonkey]

37. *snicker*

[NCLefty]

24. Nooo, not my structure!

RUINED!!!1!

[Fan of Da Bearse]

25. Functioning Brain Cells

Can't have those at a Trump event!

[Maru Kitteh]

27. Balls.

I should probably leave that right there but it's against my nature.

It's just that it seems a little unnecessarily personal and humiliating, no?

[uriel1972]

28. Tosters don't toast bread...People toast bread.

[Throck]

30. No Poles?

That's it, me and my Italian brother in law are absolutely not going.

[Ilsa]

33. They didn't ban sheep, so all MAGAts are welcome. nt

[woodsprite]

34. Tomatoes weren't on the banned list. nt

[Vinca]

36. So, judging from the list, you could take your AK-47 if your security screener is a gun nut.

Funny they added balloons. No Trump Baby inside the venue. LOL.

[hatrack]

39. When structures are outlawed, only outlaws will have structures