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Sat Oct 5, 2019, 07:31 PM

Fascism and abusive love.

Love as falling in love with narcissists unawares is a similar pattern as falling for a fascist on a social level .

When the love is new, for a victim red flags are ignored as the new victim gets to know the nice side of an abusive relationship.

Like when the people on the right fell for trump ,extolling his " virtues"
While denying red flags that trump
Would become a criminal, abusive miscreant in the White House.
They are in love with him.

As for liberals we saw through his fascist tendencies right through the narcissism and tried to warn the right wingers of the dangers like he would harm the country.

Like a teenager in love they get angry and deny their boyfriend is dangerous. Like right wingers they say shit like trump is joking,trump cares etc.

After a few inexcusable abuses of power they can admit they see
little problems in the relationship themselves but they are still in denial.
They still sing the praises and make excuses for the abusers bad behavior on public.
Like the trumpers people caught in an abusive relationship they fuse their identity with the abuser/trump. Like Stockholm syndrome.saying they trust him ,and bat away others concerns as an annoyance from people that have no clue about their wonderful "relationship" and those who criticize trump are undermining the "relationship". They have with his fake face.that exists in their minds they have constructed.

People outside see the abusiveness and warn them louder more frequently .

And the lover digs their heels in and refuses to see the obvious While secretly they saw the red flags too,but will make excuses get defensive.because of the so called relationship.they have fused with the abuser.

Will there ever be a day when they get battered and decide to get out?

They said in an article about abuse it takes a few attempts before a victim leaves the bad relationship for good.

They forgo other relationships and the abuser isolated them.

Just like trump and his rhetoric and abuse of power others perceive but the abused still sees it as a more or less positive relationship. The victim further is isolated from Friends and family. Like right wingers push away Friends and family. That are different from themselves.

There are a lot of parallels between the stages of what happens in abusive relationships
And the devotion some abuse victims have on a social level to leaders that abuse a nation like trump does.
There are more similar traits between abuser and victim, trump and trump follower.
and this is well,scary.
I'm noticing this and it is difficult for me to put it in words. This is an attempt. I have PTSD,and this thing I am noticing is triggering as all get out. Thanks for reading it.

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Arrow 25 replies Author Time Post
Reply Fascism and abusive love. (Original post)
I_UndergroundPanther Oct 2019 OP
guillaumeb Oct 2019 #1
I_UndergroundPanther Oct 2019 #2
I_UndergroundPanther Oct 2019 #3
ZZenith Oct 2019 #6
I_UndergroundPanther Oct 2019 #13
cry baby Oct 2019 #4
I_UndergroundPanther Oct 2019 #15
cry baby Oct 2019 #17
I_UndergroundPanther Oct 2019 #18
mitch96 Oct 2019 #24
Peace06 Oct 2019 #5
Doreen Oct 2019 #7
I_UndergroundPanther Oct 2019 #12
Doreen Oct 2019 #21
ck4829 Oct 2019 #25
mitch96 Oct 2019 #8
llmart Oct 2019 #10
I_UndergroundPanther Oct 2019 #14
mitch96 Oct 2019 #22
Newest Reality Oct 2019 #9
Duppers Oct 2019 #11
I_UndergroundPanther Oct 2019 #16
Jrsygrl96 Oct 2019 #19
MikeIsInProcess Oct 2019 #20
ck4829 Oct 2019 #23

Response to I_UndergroundPanther (Original post)

Sat Oct 5, 2019, 07:35 PM

1. Welcome to DU, and recommended.

In addition, we cannot dismiss that Trump's open racism appeals to the racists.

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Response to guillaumeb (Reply #1)

Sat Oct 5, 2019, 07:48 PM

2. Yes and a racist can fall in love

With thier leader and the beliefs they hold that trump "speaks "to them.racists are assholes yes,but they fell in love with Hitler with fascism.
It follows the same pattern as the stages of an abusive relationship.

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Response to guillaumeb (Reply #1)

Sat Oct 5, 2019, 07:50 PM

3. Thank you

I'm a du long timer I lost my ability to be online for a few years.
My old handle was Underground Panther.

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Response to I_UndergroundPanther (Reply #3)

Sat Oct 5, 2019, 08:12 PM

6. Welcome back.

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Response to ZZenith (Reply #6)

Sat Oct 5, 2019, 09:24 PM

13. Thanks

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Response to I_UndergroundPanther (Original post)

Sat Oct 5, 2019, 08:05 PM

4. tRump triggers me. I didn't realize what was happening for his first couple of years.

Iím a narcissistic abuse survivor.

Sometimes when that light bulb turns on, insight gets much clearer on why Iím having some of the same painful physical manifestations as I did toward the end of the abusive marriage.

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Response to cry baby (Reply #4)

Sat Oct 5, 2019, 09:29 PM

15. He triggers me too.whenever he's on TV

I switch channels or turn him off.
I have a visceral anger when I hear him. Can't stand his voice.

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Response to I_UndergroundPanther (Reply #15)

Sat Oct 5, 2019, 09:41 PM

17. I'm sorry you went through your ordeal.

I remember you as UndergroundPanther. Iíve been here since 2004.

Maybe the tRump show will be over soon and we can get back to healing.

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Response to cry baby (Reply #17)

Sat Oct 5, 2019, 09:46 PM

18. I hope so

I think he triggers anyone that has suffered abuse, he is as far as I know a sociopath.

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Response to I_UndergroundPanther (Reply #15)

Sun Oct 6, 2019, 12:29 PM

24. +1

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Response to I_UndergroundPanther (Original post)

Sat Oct 5, 2019, 08:09 PM

5. I_UndergroundPanther

This is a great and thoughtful post. I never thought about it in that context, but they are very similar.

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Response to I_UndergroundPanther (Original post)

Sat Oct 5, 2019, 08:14 PM

7. They are called sociopaths.

Sociopaths know how to sweet talk you into believing them no matter how far fetched what they are telling you is. The good ones can even trap those who have always been good at spotting them with ease.

They do not even have to tell you to seperate yourself from your friends and family. It is just something they say or do that makes you want to not see the red flags that are in full view in your face or listen to loved ones who warn you. Your loved ones can even show proof after proof of the reality of things but you still refuse to see.

They can drag you around for a long time and sometimes forever. Those who finally see the truth usually come down hard and it makes them paranoid of others they meet for the first time.

Basically, they trap you with lies that seem like truth. They pick those who they know will fall for those lies despite the fact their chosen ones never believed the way they fall for the sociopaths words. For those who did believe that way it just becomes worse.

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Response to Doreen (Reply #7)

Sat Oct 5, 2019, 09:20 PM

12. And trump is abusing this nation.

He's so toxic

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Response to I_UndergroundPanther (Reply #12)

Sat Oct 5, 2019, 10:49 PM

21. He is a very dangerous sociopath.

He is the most dangerous this country has ever had.

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Response to Doreen (Reply #7)

Thu Oct 10, 2019, 06:50 PM

25. Yep

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Response to I_UndergroundPanther (Original post)

Sat Oct 5, 2019, 08:32 PM

8. Rick Steves the travel guy has an excellent program on PBS about the history fascism in Europe

I saw it last month and it's on again this week. Lays it all out and very close to what is happening RIGHT NOW!!
m

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Response to mitch96 (Reply #8)

Sat Oct 5, 2019, 08:44 PM

10. +1000

I've watched it twice now and he does lay it out so that it's very understandable. Everyone should watch it.

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Response to mitch96 (Reply #8)

Sat Oct 5, 2019, 09:27 PM

14. What

Day and time will it be re aired?
Don't want to miss it.

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Response to I_UndergroundPanther (Reply #14)

Sun Oct 6, 2019, 07:13 AM

22. Look it up on your local channels. Different for different PBS affiliates... nt

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Response to I_UndergroundPanther (Original post)

Sat Oct 5, 2019, 08:38 PM

9. Well said...

I have been making points about that in my own way concerning loyalty and its importance and relevance to the effect we are seeing.

Thanks for adding your insights on that!

A hearty welcome to DU to you. Glad you are aboard.

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Response to I_UndergroundPanther (Original post)

Sat Oct 5, 2019, 09:03 PM

11. Welcome back!

You were missed.

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Response to Duppers (Reply #11)

Sat Oct 5, 2019, 09:30 PM

16. Awww so sweet.,Duppers

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Response to I_UndergroundPanther (Original post)

Sat Oct 5, 2019, 09:53 PM

19. Victim of a sociopath

When I was in college in the 1980's, a creepy guy from my dorm stalked me (before stalking had a name). I had a "gut" feeling. All the signs were there from the beginning. But he seemed perfect. He was so thoughtful and was crazy about me. Devout Catholic. I pushed away the inner voice and we ended up engaged. The nightmare began - I was too fat. (I wasn't) my hair was scraggly. (It wasn't) If I got upset with his insults, he said I couldn't take a joke. My major (fine art) was stupid. Why did I need a college degree? Didn't like any of my friends. Family either (but I was 7 hours from home). So, so jealous, he accused me of things I never did. The more time went by, the worse things got. He controlled everything I did. I literally thought I could not survive without him. At the same time, my inner voice told me I would die if I didn't get out. I knew he would shoot me if I tried to leave because he threatened me. I started having panic attacks and by the grace of God, we ended up not getting married. However, I was never the same again. I had PTSD. All these years later, anxiety and panic attacks occasionally rear their ugly head.

So how do I explain to my 45 loving friends that he is doing the SAME THING to all of us? Tells you what you want to hear. When he feels like he "has" you, the gaslighting begins. It's all about them and control. And when you get hooked, even if you see it you are in too deep. You don't want to admit you made a mistake or are just completely brainwashed. My 45 cultist friends are smart, God loving people. I cannot make them see what is so obvious. 45 is pure evil. Has had 50+ years of practice. If the devil wanted to "hook" a group, of course he would go for the "God" people - doesn't matter what religion, it's extremism. And 45 hooked the evangelicals, even though he has broken every Commandment and all 7 Deadly Sins. Satan is laughing with delight, the day American democracy died.

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Response to I_UndergroundPanther (Original post)

Sat Oct 5, 2019, 10:13 PM

20. Nationalism is society-level narcissism


It feels like half our country is taking on the role of the abuser.

Getting out has a different dynamic though when it's on a national scale.

So I'm not getting out. I'm fighting back.

People around me WILL understand that their abusive attitudes are repugnant. The attitudes WILL be brought to their attention. They WILL become aware and will be left with no excuse. And hopefully in time they'll make changes. (I've already seen it.)

Because I've got a mouth and a brain on me, and I sure as hell know how to use them.

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Response to I_UndergroundPanther (Original post)

Sun Oct 6, 2019, 07:25 AM

23. K&R

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