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Fri Oct 18, 2019, 06:15 AM

You People Made Me Give Up My Peanut Farm Before I Got To Be President

Boy, times sure have changed, haven’t they? I couldn’t help but notice that the current occupant of the White House owns more than 500 companies, has business interests across the Middle East and Asia, and owes hundreds of millions of dollars to banks he is now responsible for regulating. It seems a touch unfair that a bigger fuss was made about my little peanut operation than all his office towers, hotels, and golf courses combined. All I had was a farm, you know? A small, precious farm.

Seriously, it was just a few fields and a warehouse, and you idiots still appointed a special prosecutor and spent six months investigating it.
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Maybe I’m just a sucker. Apparently, all I needed to do was hand off control of the farm to my family. If I’d staged an elaborate song and dance about distancing myself—whatever that means—from all the day-to-day planting, picking, and salting, maybe I could have kept my peanut farm with the full blessing of you, the American people.


[link:https://www.theonion.com/you-people-made-me-give-up-my-peanut-farm-before-i-got-1819585048?utm_source=Twitter&utm_campaign=SF&utm_medium=SocialMarketing&utm_content=Main|]

Emphasis mine.
It is a couple of years old but just as relevant today.
It may be satire, but he did have a peanut farm, and he did have to give it up... now the President gets to host the G7 in his own property for the enrichment of himself and his family, alongside all the other grift.... how times have changed.

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Arrow 12 replies Author Time Post
Reply You People Made Me Give Up My Peanut Farm Before I Got To Be President (Original post)
Soph0571 Oct 18 OP
Cha Oct 18 #1
Soph0571 Oct 18 #2
MyOwnPeace Oct 18 #3
IronLionZion Oct 18 #4
Moostache Oct 18 #5
usaf-vet Oct 18 #6
FakeNoose Oct 18 #7
Soph0571 Oct 18 #8
FakeNoose Oct 18 #12
whistler162 Oct 18 #9
dlk Oct 18 #10
Blue Owl Oct 18 #11

Response to Soph0571 (Original post)

Fri Oct 18, 2019, 06:24 AM

1. Oh yeah.. more relevant

than Ever!

Mahalo, Soph

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Response to Cha (Reply #1)

Fri Oct 18, 2019, 06:35 AM

2. Morning!!! -

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Response to Soph0571 (Original post)

Fri Oct 18, 2019, 06:37 AM

3. There WERE differences:

1. Jimmy Carter is a DEMOCRAT!
2. Jimmy Carter is a Christian that has actually READ the Bible!

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Response to Soph0571 (Original post)

Fri Oct 18, 2019, 08:21 AM

4. They don't make presidents like they used to

it's disgusting that half of America allowed these grifters to turn the presidency into a pay for play emoluments scheme.

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Response to Soph0571 (Original post)

Fri Oct 18, 2019, 08:26 AM

5. At the rate Trump is going, there won't BE a G7 by next year...

We will be kicked out, and he will host Putin at Doral and declare it the new "G2 by Trump"...

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Response to Soph0571 (Original post)

Fri Oct 18, 2019, 08:56 AM

6. They were afraid you were going to control the peanut oil market. Once you held.....

..... the major percentage of the world market.

Then you would be able to control the peanut oil futures market and make a financial killing by manipulating how many peanuts you picked to control the amount of oil extraction from the raw peanuts you allowed.

We are talking thousands of dollars a year in revenue.

This would allow you to live a lavish lifestyle. Buying a new car every 3 years. Not to mention the new jon boat and trailer every 5 years to park in your two stall detached garage.

There are limits to the wealth a president should control. A two-week vacation every year to go fishing is pushing the limits of acceptable leisure time.

Of course, you had to give up your peanut farm.



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Response to Soph0571 (Original post)

Fri Oct 18, 2019, 08:56 AM

7. If Chump owned a peanut farm ...

1) He would have made the peanut (and peanut butter) the national patriotic food of America
2) He would be selling bags of "Trump Nuts" in every grocery and convenience store in the US
3) His kids would be shilling for Trump Nuts all over Europe and Asia
4) Peanut butter & jelly would be a required food in every US school cafeteria

Anybody else want to add to this list?


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Response to FakeNoose (Reply #7)

Fri Oct 18, 2019, 08:58 AM

8. He would ban chocolate spread?

Hehe

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Response to Soph0571 (Reply #8)

Fri Oct 18, 2019, 10:27 AM

12. Yep - and Nutella!

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Response to Soph0571 (Original post)

Fri Oct 18, 2019, 09:06 AM

9. But, I heardd he only served peanut butter

sandwiches and boiled peanuts to Sadat and Begin!


Is it still the Onion when it is true?

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Response to Soph0571 (Original post)

Fri Oct 18, 2019, 09:20 AM

10. Republicans love a double standard

Especially when it favors them.

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Response to Soph0571 (Original post)

Fri Oct 18, 2019, 09:54 AM

11. YES!

I have been waiting for this issue to get more exposure -- one of the biggest examples of GOP hypocrisy anyone with half a brain could understand (MAGATs excluded)

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