I have to know: what is the Mad King doing at his rally tonight?

[Hekate]

I wonder what the king is doing tonight?
What devilment is the king pursuing tonight?
The candles at the House have never burned so bright...
I wonder what the king is up to tonight?

[sandensea]

1. Throwing purple poop-filled piss-pots around?

What, what.

[Grasswire2]

2. I'm watching at this time.

His face is deep, deep orange. He's yelling. He's reading from a teleprompter script but going offscript after every sentence.

"Best thing we've done is firing James Comey's ass out of there. He's hit the Golden Pond, folks."

Rambling, changing topics, lying, bragging,

doctors are "esculped from liability" and lives are being saved.

We will lift citizens from poverty to properity

We will...

We will....

We will...

HOLLERING!

sweating buckets

ended AIDS

we will defend the right to keep and bear arms (yelling from the crowd)

...one America

we support and defend the Constitution

riff on Ice walking into nests and start swinging...taking out bad bad bad people by the thousands.

anyone here want to do that?? Oh, they're too tough. Two beautiful 16 year old girls cut up

Nancy Pelosi needs to go home and take care of her district where the garbage is needles and drugs and filth right into the storm sewers into the Pacific Ocean. We fined them. And Nancy is playing games and needs to go home and take care of the filth. Tents all over th place and diseases making police officers sick...


They don't want Thomas Jefferson any more. We fight. I don't know where I am, up there or down here.....In God We Trust.

Henry Ford invented the assembly line.......gave us Motown, the Mustang...

Okay my fingers are tired.

[Hekate]

5. WOW. Well done, you!

Thank you.

[The Velveteen Ocelot]

3. The usual lunacy, I'm sure.

I know what my MAGAts are thinking tonight
As home through the shadows they wander
Everyone smiling in secret delight,
They stare at the White House and ponder
Whenever the wind blows this way,
You can almost hear everyone say,
I wonder what the king is flushing tonight?
What secrets are the king hush-hushing tonight?
The incandescent bulbs, they never burned as bright
I wonder what the king is up to tonight?
How goes the final dump as he wipes his orange rump
As impeachment's being legally prepared?
Well, I'll tell you what the king is doing tonight
He's scared, he's scared!
You mean that a king who hangs with Putin,
Loves his lyin,' stealin' and lootin'
Gets impeached in terror and distress? Yes!
An asshole who's so calm in sliming
Everyone who stops his criming
Faces the Congress petrified with fright? Right!
You mean that appalling clamoring
That sounds like a blacksmith hammering
Is merely the banging of his flabby knees? Please!
You wonder what the king is yearning tonight?
He's yearning for Congress to be burning tonight.
What occupies his time while waiting for the hit?
He's searching high and low for someplace to shit.
And oh, the expectation, the sublime anticipation
He must feel about the ugly days to come!
Well, I'll tell you what the king is feeling tonight.
He's numb, he shakes, he quails, he quakes,
And that's what the king is doing tonight.

[Hekate]

6. Hehe. Thanks for continuing the riff

[hedda_foil]

7. This is the absotively posilutely perfect parody lyric! Worthy of the great Stan Freburg!

[Talitha]

12. Love it!!! Lyrics from 'Crapalot'.

Well done!!

[mshasta]

4. He is doing

The accordion hands more manic than ever,,,!!!!

[smirkymonkey]

8. He needs his drug more than ever.

He needs his "love". He needs to feel the worship of his cult and the adoration of those who believe he can do no wrong. It is the only place left that is safe and warm for him. Without these people he will curl up and die. They are his lifeblood.

[MissMillie]

9. picking on a dead man and his wife

class act, eh?

[Totally Tunsie]

11. Brian Williams just played that particular Chump rant

from his rally tonight. Disgusting!

[jcgoldie]

10. "I don't know where I am, up there or down here.....In God We Trust."

WTF does this mean he thinks hes some sort of deity?

[Grasswire2]

13. He ranted for almost two hours tonight.

And there was the part about the dishwasher! Needs button pushed twelve times, WOMEN TELL HIM SO.

Some dirty minds on twitter wondered where he was going with the notion that women are telling him they need to push the button twelve times...

Seriously, late night comedians have an abundance of material from tonight.