Dear GOP: No, You Can't
Fri Sep 07, 2012 at 03:43 PM PDT
Dear GOP: No, You Can't
by Crashing Vor
Okay Republicans, we have to have a talk.
No, no. Look at me.
I understand you are upset today. You have watched this week while the big people you made faces at reached into your political playpen and took away your favorite shiny toys. This wasn't done to be cruel or simply make you bawl. This was done because we, the grownups of our house, have finally come to realize that you cannot be trusted with nice things.
Oh, I know you're frustrated. I hear your inconsolable cries that it's not fair and you waaaaaaaaaant it. Believe me, honey, I know. But you keep breaking our nice things and hitting your brothers and sisters with them.
That's why you no longer get to play with your toy soldiers. You see, they're not really toys. They are real men and women. When you swing them around wildly and bash your brothers with them, it hurts them, too. We can't afford to break any more. So you can't play with them anymore.
We know how you love the toy cash register we got you, but we have to take that, too. You see, we got it for you hoping you would learn about money, how we trade with it, pass it back and forth, get things of value with it. But you don't seem to know how it works. You just want to keep all the coins and bills, to eat them and stuff them in your diapers. So I'm afraid we have to take that as well.
And that word game we used to play, the "USA! USA!" game? I'm afraid you no longer get to play that anymore. You see, the point of that game was for everyone to get excited and have fun. But once you started keeping the rhythm of our chant by beating on your brothers and sisters, it became clear that you didn't understand the game. Until you grow old enough to understand that our chanting game isn't an excuse to hurt others, we can't allow you to play it.
Now, honey, I know you're not going to like this, but we're going to have to take away your special badge, too, the one you're so proud of, the gold star that says, "CONSERVATIVE."
I know, honey, and we're sorry. It's our fault. We really should have explained better what the word means before we let you wear that badge. You see, "conservatives" keep safe the things we have, make sure they are available for others to enjoy, that they're kept clean and working, so that others can play with them and that, someday, they can be passed on to your children, too. That's what it means to "conserve."
I know we didn't explain it well enough. That's why you came to think that "CONSERVATIVE" meant "boss" and "in charge" and "you have to give me all the toys." We don't blame you, dears. The fault is ours.
But, until you grow mature enough to understand what "CONSERVATIVE" really means, we'll have to hold the badge for now.
It has sharp edges and we don't want you to hurt anyone else with it.
http://www.dailykos.com/story/2012/09/07/1129135/-Dear-GOP-No-You-Can-t
