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Related: Editorials & Other Articles, Issue Forums, Alliance Forums, Region ForumsMy nephew's fiance died today
I'd posted last week that her Covid test was negative, so they sent her home with fluid on her lungs. She has cancer, which started in her stomach and was in her lungs. This morning we learned the cancer has spread to her blood, and was , well, everywhere. They gave her a month. Today she was having trouble breathing, and got more and more distressed as the day went on. My nephew arranged for a hospice nurse. She died about 10 minutes after the nurse got there. Maybe it was the virus, maybe not, we will probably never know.
34 years old, lovely person, the love of my nephew's life. A high school biology teacher working on her doctorate.
I'm out of words. My heart breaks for my nephew, his mother and her family.
SheltieLover
(57,073 posts)CanonRay
(14,112 posts)Normally we'd be racing back to Colorado but....
SheltieLover
(57,073 posts)So sad!
Ridiculous that they did not admit her & try to help her! I know they are slammed, but it could have eased her discomfort.
I encourage you to talk with your nephew & inform him that the hospice will provide 13 months of free bereavement counseling to support him through "the year of firsts," birthdays, holidays, and what would have been their wedding day.
And they will help the whole family with bereavement counseling.
If they can't or won't, the following link has a lot of good resources. Click on menu & choose grief support.
I think there is also a link on that site to find professional help.
Please be gentle with yourself, know that the stages of grief is not a linear process.
Healing vibes on the way to you & your family.
Sunriser13
(612 posts)Thank you for reminding that hospice is for the entire family.
SheltieLover
(57,073 posts)And it really helps. Loads of great idras as I interned at a hospice doing just this sort of work. 😉
The thing that always blew my mind was nearly everyone thought they were "going crazy" because they would feel, hear, see or smell their deceased loved one. I'd always respectfully ask where they would expect their loved ones to go & where they would go if they transitioned to spirit. Would you look out for your spouse, loved ones, etc? Every person said they would stay close to kids, spouse, etc.
One very religious lady told me "but the Bible doesn't talk about this stuff."
I asked her if she'd ever been to the natural history museum. She had. And she agreed that the huge dinosaur skeletons are real. Then I told her that maybe, like the dinosaurs, the Bible just didn't go there.
Could instantly see the 💡 go on in her head, giving herself permission to think for herself. 👏👏👏👍
CanonRay
(14,112 posts)SheltieLover
(57,073 posts)👍
mercuryblues
(14,537 posts)cate94
(2,813 posts)cayugafalls
(5,643 posts)So much sadness.
Stay well.
smirkymonkey
(63,221 posts)How very tragic. My condolences to you and your family.
malaise
(269,157 posts)Deepest sympathy to you and your family
NNadir
(33,541 posts)Zoonart
(11,877 posts)So sorry for your loss.
MLAA
(17,318 posts)Stuart G
(38,439 posts)Lonestarblue
(10,053 posts)CatMor
(6,212 posts)so young to have it happen. Hope to have a cure for cancer soon.
Sunriser13
(612 posts)irisblue
(33,020 posts)CountMyVote4Reality
(209 posts)This is a horrible time to die. Peace.
spooky3
(34,467 posts)niyad
(113,532 posts)family is here for you.
MontanaMama
(23,337 posts)This is a tragedy. I am just so sorry.
SleeplessinSoCal
(9,138 posts)Progressive Jones
(6,011 posts)sinkingfeeling
(51,471 posts)Lulu KC
(2,572 posts)femmedem
(8,206 posts)I don't have any words either; it's just so sad. 💔
DownriverDem
(6,231 posts)for you all. Cancer sucks.
dlk
(11,575 posts)Karadeniz
(22,564 posts)Upthevibe
(8,069 posts)and to all of her loved ones. R.I.P.
Tanuki
(14,920 posts)for the best. She sounds like a wonderful person who had much to offer the world. I will hold your family and the young lady's family in my heart in this sad hour. I am sure she knew how dearly she was loved.
Texin
(2,597 posts)Be devastated.
Hulk
(6,699 posts)My heart goes out to all who knew and loved her. Tragedy.
FakeNoose
(32,726 posts)It seems your nephew and his fiance were not well served by the medical professionals. But they deserve understanding too because of the overwhelming tasks they've had to face in the last few weeks.
Sometimes it's just bad luck and bad timing. I'm so sorry for your loss!
Beacool
(30,250 posts)I'm sorry for your nephew's loss, 34 is so young to die. My condolences to your family and hers. May she rest in peace.
Scarsdale
(9,426 posts)and accomplished. Please give your nephew my deepest condolences. What a loss for the entire family, plus her own family. They say there is a reason for everything, but this is so difficult to accept.
iluvtennis
(19,868 posts)May she rest in peace.
liberalmuse
(18,672 posts)I can't imagine how devastated your family must be over her death. No words.
bronxiteforever
(9,287 posts)Peace, Bronx
CanonRay
(14,112 posts)And I suspect many of you as we.
marble falls
(57,172 posts)IronLionZion
(45,516 posts)people
(627 posts)I feel so sad about their terrible loss.
gademocrat7
(10,665 posts)To you, your nephew and family.
sheshe2
(83,875 posts)Dem_in_Nebr.
(301 posts)for everyone involved.
I wish your nephew well in this time of sorrow.
Words seem to have no meaning to express the unexpressible.
Nevertheless know that I will be thinking about him and her and all of you.
May the peace that passes all understanding guard and guide you all.
murielm99
(30,755 posts)Dial H For Hero
(2,971 posts)appleannie1
(5,068 posts)Raster
(20,998 posts)...
The Blue Flower
(5,444 posts)No words.
Bigredhunk
(1,351 posts)Thinking of you and your family.
TuxedoKat
(3,818 posts)for your and your nephew's loss of this dear lady. Life is just so damn unfair sometimes.
Meowmee
(5,164 posts)I am so sorry for you all
HipChick
(25,485 posts)Liver cancer, so young...
Fla Dem
(23,736 posts)bdamomma
(63,919 posts)[sympathy, so sad
Demsrule86
(68,643 posts)mountain grammy
(26,644 posts)colorado_ufo
(5,737 posts)OldBaldy1701E
(5,144 posts)Words kind of fall flat in these instances, but know that there are people out here who want to help you through this if possible and send love and good vibes to you and yours.
luvallpeeps
(935 posts)So sorry for your loss.
Soph0571
(9,685 posts)I am so sorry for your families loss. I hope you are holding up OK and keeping safe. Going to message you
CanonRay
(14,112 posts)My nephew is just devastated as you can imagine, and his mother as well.
DFW
(54,436 posts)I went through EXACTLY that scenario with I was there to see my dad off 20 years ago.
I know. Unfortunately, I know all too well. My sympathies--for all that is worth..
onecaliberal
(32,888 posts)Just awful. 💔