Facebook Announces Plan To Break Up U.S. Government Before It Becomes Too Powerful

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Facebook Announces Plan To Break Up U.S. Government Before It Becomes Too Powerful

MENLO PARK, CA—In an effort to curtail the organization’s outsized influence, Facebook announced Monday that it would be implementing new steps to ensure the breakup of the U.S. government before it becomes too powerful. “It’s long past time for us to take concrete actions against this behemoth of governance that has gone essentially unchecked since its inception,” said Facebook CEO Mark Zuckerberg, noting that while the governing body may have begun with good intentions, its history showed a culture of recklessness and a dangerous disregard for the consequences of its decisions.

“Unfortunately, those at the top have been repeatedly contemptuous of the very idea of accountability or reform, and our only remaining course is to separate the government into smaller chunks to prevent it from forming an even stronger monopoly over the public.” Zuckerberg closed his remarks with repeated assurances that despite a likely legal battle ahead, no one government could stand up to the fortitude of Facebook.

[JoeOtterbein]

1. BTW from the Onion.

[SheltieLover]

2. Ty!

Had to look. Never know these days.

[Shell_Seas]

3. I was thinking, "Sounds like an Onion article," before I clicked on it.

But you know... in the age of Trump, anything is possible.

[Brother Buzz]

4. Some of us still look instinctively at the calendar

I just reminded myself to flip the page from May to June.

[Squinch]

5. Yep. Satire, but point well made.