John Cleese: Next time I'm in court, I shall remember de Joy's defence

[soothsayer]

Link to tweet

?s=21
John Cleese
@JohnCleese
Next time I'm in court, I shall remember de Joy's defence

" To avoid even any appearance of criminality, I shall stop committing any more crimes while people are watching me closely "

[Karadeniz]

1. Really? DeJoy actually said he committed crimes? Yikes!

[The Velveteen Ocelot]

2. He didn't *say* he was committing crimes.

He just said he'd stop trying to fuck up the post office until after the election.

[jorgevlorgan]

8. Which does happen to be a crime

He may as well have said it.

[groundloop]

10. He'll not fuck up the post office any more (because it's already been fucked up to his satisfaction)

[lagomorph777]

12. +1 Toss DeJoy in DeJail.

[notinkansas]

27. Love that!

[a kennedy]

3. Bravo Mr. Cleese.

Right on.

[unblock]

4. funny, but he didn't promise to stop committing *any* more crimes. just not those particular ones.

until after the election, of course, then he's right back at it.

in the meanwhile, he'll be committing more subtle crimes.

[CaptYossarian]

6. Funny thing.

I'm reading your post as if Eric Idle has typed it.

What does this mean?

[erronis]

11. That we all wish we living in a Monty Python skit instead of this dark reality?

Just like your catch-22 - we are trapped in a story about our stupid intelligence.

[CaptYossarian]

15. Plus all those sci-fi movies that would never happen are now happening.

We're quickly heading toward Soylent Green (overpopulation and not enough food) to Logan's Run (after the seniors die from COVID), and will conclude with Planet of the Apes (Statue of Liberty scene & climate change).

All the while, Trumputin is taking a shot at 1984, among other dystopian science-"fiction" flicks.

At least apes and horses made it okay. Of course, both species are vegetarian.

[appalachiablue]

22. You have to stop this. It's time for dinner, I'm

hungry but almost choked on a grape when reading this and laughing, darkly.

All I'm allowed to eat for meals is grapes and just 3. Well sometimes raisins, if it's a really special occasion. But not the good chocoalte covered kind.

[CaptYossarian]

23. I hadn't considered my posts as a choking hazard.

So far, I owe 6 people new keyboards from poorly timed drinks.

Sorry.

[Harker]

32. Many apes eat meat...

insects, cows, pigs... carrion.

[CaptYossarian]

33. Thanks. I wasn't aware of that.

[unblock]

13. ...

[cp]

19. Thank you!

Hilarious.

[Danascot]

21. That's brilliant & hysterical!

[MFGsunny]

26. U DA BEST, unblock! n/t

[burrowowl]

29. LOL!

[calimary]

16. Good. EVERYTHING that comes out of ANY of these trump people HAS TO BE viewed

through that lens. From the "...and that's just what we KNOW about" file.

HAS TO!

Because as you've pointed out, they're pretty good at sneak-talk.

[smirkymonkey]

5. "I'm sorry you caught me stabbing this person. I will stop stabbing them until all the

cops and witnesses go away, at which point I will continue to stab them to death."

[Cha]

7. Perfect.. Rt!

[liberalla]

9. Yes! That is funny! Thank you Mr Cleese!

[patphil]

14. We need to take de joy out of that guy's life...lock him up!

[IronLionZion]

17. It's great to commit a bunch of crimes and then take a break for a short while

because that's almost like not committing crimes, right?

[cp]

18. Cleese has still got it!

Thank you.

[SergeStorms]

20. That will work only if...

you're a member of the Trump administration, and Bill Barr is the judge. Other than that, have at it!

[warmfeet]

24. I use the Bart Simpson defense -

I didn't do it!

Just say you didn't do it. Seems to work for Bart.

[Evolve Dammit]

30. works for Orange Julius too. So far..

[MustLoveBeagles]

25. K&R

[tblue37]

28. K&R and thanks. nt

[Nitram]

31. ROFL!!!