Borowitz Report: "Ben Carson Wondering Where Everyone at White House Has Gone"

[Pluvious]

For our daily dose of the Best Medicine: snarky satire

WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—Ben Carson, the Secretary of Housing and Urban Development, is wondering where everyone at the White House has gone, Carson has confirmed.

Carson showed up unannounced at the White House on Thursday morning, “just to say hi,” and was surprised to find the building virtually deserted.

“I was wondering if there was some holiday I didn’t know about,” Carson said. “I know there are a lot of holidays that Jewish people celebrate this time of year, but that just explains why Jared and Ivanka weren’t there. It’s kind of a head-scratcher.”
...

Carson said that he was prepared to accept the mystery of why the White House was deserted. “It’s like the pyramids of Egypt,” he said. “For years, no one knew that they were used to store grain, and then it all became clear. Someday we may know why the White House was deserted. And then it will all make sense.”

https://www.newyorker.com/humor/borowitz-report/ben-carson-wondering-where-everyone-at-white-house-has-gone

[Gothmog]

2. I love good satire

[CTyankee]

3. Whee! Maybe we'll have another SNL skit on this!

"It's gonna be BAD!"