Can You Help?

[H2O Man]

Help wanted! We are now hiring people from in and around the states of Georgia, Nevada, North Carolina, Pennsylvania, and Arizona to assist in filling out one million fraudulent mail-in ballots per state. George Soros is paying workers $75 per hour, tax-free, Chairman Mao is providing meals, Fidel Castro is providing luxury hotel rooms, and Tucker Carlson is providing entertainment.

With the help of Iranian computer experts, we have been able to make significant progress in post-marking each ballot as being received on November 2. More, we have brought in rapists and murderers from Central America to count the votes. We assume that there are very good people on both sides of the open border.

[0rganism]

1. surely you see how dangerous this OP is

humor, to be sure, but it has a strong chance of being echoed through external citation
"did you see what they're saying at DU?", especially the 2nd paragraph.

seriously the laughs are not worth the risk in this case.

[Orangepeel]

5. qanon will be quoting it as proof within the hour

[Mike 03]

7. Something tells me that

Chairman Mao is providing meals

gives it away.

[H2O Man]

10. Maybe, maybe not .....

I never considered the possibility that Trump's legal team might cite this in front of the US Supreme Court, though.

[diva77]

14. And KKKavanaugh will take to it like a fish to water. Look for it in his footnotes.

[H2O Man]

27. Hopefully he marked

it down on his calendar. Maybe on his father's calendar. That'd be enough to make a grown man cry.

[0rganism]

15. it need not be cited in its entirety

a dangerous idea to float at this time: "With the help of Iranian computer experts, we have been able to make significant progress in post-marking each ballot as being received on November 2."

"That's what the Democrats are saying."

not helpful.

[H2O Man]

17. Lions and tigers and bears!

Oh my!

[H2O Man]

8. Gosh.

I hope "they" do.

[0rganism]

18. i hope they don't and i also hope i'm overreacting

this seems like a delicate time, might not want to be floating this stuff here sarcastically.

[H2O Man]

21. I think you are

overreacting. It is a tense time, and people are prone to doing so. A lot of people's nerves are on edge.

Still, I wish that Trump's legal team would use this when they approach federal courts. It might be the most rational thing they have. I hope they file it with the infamous clip of Rudy G in the new Borat flick.

[Cheezoholic]

2. You had me until

Tucker providing the entertainment. That's just, well, creepy.

[H2O Man]

11. But what if

I revealed the super-secret plan to have him spar my son for our entertainment?

[Frustratedlady]

3. I would, but $75/hour isn't enough to be in the same room with Tucker Carlson.

Sorry!

[H2O Man]

12. Right.

But, if response #1 is correct, we may have Trump supporters show up for work. We're not paying them anything above $6.37 per hour, with no hotel rooms, food, or entertainment. That will allow us to increase the wage for others.

[Stallion]

4. I'll Wait until My George Soros check clears this Time

Fool me once-shame on you
Fool me twice---you can't be fooled again

[H2O Man]

13. It took a while

for his check to clear in 2018, when we drove buses for the caravans. But he's here in each of the states at all times and the same time, and paying in cash this time.

[Demsrule86]

6. I am near Western PA...live just on the other side of the border.

[H2O Man]

16. The Pittsburgh office

is a great place.

[Laelth]

9. Tucker Carlson entertainment?

No way. The base pay has to go WAY UP before I would consider subjecting myself to that.

-Laelth

[H2O Man]

19. He's agreed to

spar my son for three rounds per day. So get there early.

[Laelth]

20. OK. That might be fun to watch.

I don’t think it would LAST very long, though. You need to up your entertainment budget.



-Laelth

[H2O Man]

22. It will cover

the first 15 seconds. After that, we'll have to play it by ear.

[7wo7rees]

23. Oh hell!! DU has lost H2O..........

😎💗

[H2O Man]

25. And found!

[ms liberty]

24. I cannot believe there are people here with so little sense of humor

About a joke. And so much oversensitivity. Or wait, maybe I can (resigned sigh with an eyeroll)...

[H2O Man]

26. Thank you!

Not only did some find this offensive, but they refused to come and help the effort to steal the election. What would Abbie Hoffman think, were he alive? I mean, we had an opportunity to get rid of Mitch and Lindsey, had they helped. I don't like to point fingers, but I suspect they are the type of people who only voted once.