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Related: Editorials & Other Articles, Issue Forums, Alliance Forums, Region ForumsBROKEN: Trump Goes on Renaming Spree - Defies Constitution
President Trump Declares Himself King of America - Says Constitution Doesn't Apply to Him
by Lottsa Huwee
In a surprise Executive Order, Donald J. Trump has summarily changed the titles used for himself and his family. He claims (without any authority to do so) that the Constitution of the United States refers to the President of the United States, and no longer applies to him, following this official renaming process.
Spokesmodel Kaylee Maganinny, speaking in the Press Room, said, "King Donald the First has done something amazing today. Since he is no longer a President, the Constitution no longer applies to him. He will reign as King for the rest of his life, and members of his family will succeed him, much as things are in the United Kingdom. Hereafter, all references to Donald J. Trump will use the terminology in the Executive Order." After her brief statement, she handed out copies of the Executive Order to the gobsmacked press that had assembled.
Here are the new titles for the newly-named "Royal Family:"
Donald J. Trump - Emperor King of the Americas
Melania Trump - Royal Princess of America
Ivanka Trump - Princess Ivanka of America
Donald J. Trump, Jr. - Crown Prince of America
Eric Trump - Prince Eric
Barron Trump - Prince of the Realm
Husbands and wives of the Princes and Princess will bear the titles of "Lord" and "Lady," followed by their given names, e.g.: Lord Jared Kushner and Lady Lara Trump.
Reaction from the Press Room was dropped jaws and silence, then punctuated with cries of "What the fuck?".
Maganinny ended the press briefing by saying, "All Hail His Imperial Highness!"
by Lottsa Huwee
In a surprise Executive Order, Donald J. Trump has summarily changed the titles used for himself and his family. He claims (without any authority to do so) that the Constitution of the United States refers to the President of the United States, and no longer applies to him, following this official renaming process.
Spokesmodel Kaylee Maganinny, speaking in the Press Room, said, "King Donald the First has done something amazing today. Since he is no longer a President, the Constitution no longer applies to him. He will reign as King for the rest of his life, and members of his family will succeed him, much as things are in the United Kingdom. Hereafter, all references to Donald J. Trump will use the terminology in the Executive Order." After her brief statement, she handed out copies of the Executive Order to the gobsmacked press that had assembled.
Here are the new titles for the newly-named "Royal Family:"
Donald J. Trump - Emperor King of the Americas
Melania Trump - Royal Princess of America
Ivanka Trump - Princess Ivanka of America
Donald J. Trump, Jr. - Crown Prince of America
Eric Trump - Prince Eric
Barron Trump - Prince of the Realm
Husbands and wives of the Princes and Princess will bear the titles of "Lord" and "Lady," followed by their given names, e.g.: Lord Jared Kushner and Lady Lara Trump.
Reaction from the Press Room was dropped jaws and silence, then punctuated with cries of "What the fuck?".
Maganinny ended the press briefing by saying, "All Hail His Imperial Highness!"
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BROKEN: Trump Goes on Renaming Spree - Defies Constitution (Original Post)
MineralMan
Nov 2020
OP
TheBlackAdder
(28,189 posts)1. He's about ready to rename the Potomac River to DeNile River.
5X
(3,972 posts)2. Good thing u used the sarcasm tag
otherwise, believable.
MineralMan
(146,288 posts)4. I had to start doing that, along with other signals of satire,
because satirizing Trump is a major challenge.
5X
(3,972 posts)6. I know, statement about these times. n/t
dalton99a
(81,475 posts)3. Trump challenges eviction, dares Biden to fight his Praetorian Guard
MineralMan
(146,288 posts)5. Nice photo!
Pantagruel
(2,580 posts)7. Borowitz ' job is safe
but overall a commendable effort.
MineralMan
(146,288 posts)8. I'm not looking for work.
Writing satire is my hobby.
malaise
(268,968 posts)17. Hehehehehhe
and we love it
MineralMan
(146,288 posts)20. Heh-heh...
Pobeka
(4,999 posts)9. And the MSM, NPR, PBS said "it is unprecedented".
And once again failed to say it was unethical, immoral or illegal.
All right -- that comment wasn't sarcastic, but the SO and I are really tired of hearing "unprecedented".
MineralMan
(146,288 posts)10. Good followup.
DonaldsRump
(7,715 posts)11. How dare anyone make fun of poor Barron...
...C'mon, folks: be best.
MineralMan
(146,288 posts)12. Barron was an afterthought for Trump.
He almost forgot to mention him.
Turin_C3PO
(13,975 posts)13. Excellent work!
Actually, I wouldn't put it past him to attempt something like this. He's a certified nutcase indeed.
MineralMan
(146,288 posts)14. Thanks!
Firestorm49
(4,032 posts)15. Thanks, MineralMan. I needed that.
MineralMan
(146,288 posts)18. Glad to help!
Pantagruel
(2,580 posts)16. This group would appreciate
MineralMan
(146,288 posts)19. Cool. I'm sure Trump has retained them.
but, I hope they don't hold their breath until they get paid.