Profiles in Perfidy, XL. . . . Please come CAPTION PresiDented Trump!!!

Sitting in the Oval Office. Sadly the guys cutting the grass aren’t out there this time of year. I used to stand here and wave at them “Look at me!” and they did. Now I just sit here and the 4 people who still work here seem to never come by. I mean, who am I supposed to yell and scream at? No idea why they don’t come by anymore.

something the fake president sleepy Joe Biden will never do because he hates Christmas. He hates it like that green guy that lives on the very high mountain. Good view up there. Penthouse. Great place to be, a penthouse. No gold toilet in his, though. Probably. Probably he doesn't have a gold toilet. The Pence. I thinks that's his name. He's a cruel one that Mr. Pence. Anyway, I want you to thank me this Christmas holiday season for giving you the cure. THE vaccine. So, many people are coming up to me and hugging me and saying Mr. real president thank you for the cure. My blood is the cure. But the stuff in those shots is good too. So I'm told. The vaccine totally is not poison. Don't listen to Tucker Carlson. Fake news. My vaccine is totally not poison like the P...pf...phizer one I don't own stock in is. I had my friend from high school take mine and he says he's fine. I prefer to get vaccinated the old fashion way. By sleeping on 3000 count infected sheets generously given to me by those racist genocidal whites only settlers like a real man does. Anyway, just remember come 2021, I'm the real president. Yuge electoral college victory stolen from me. 70 million votes. More than President Lincoln, Ford or Chrysler. And about those Russian hackers. Totally never happened on my watch. Fake news. A man, a real man like me, is totally secure. P.S. my Twitter account passwords was totally not MAGA2020! That's a lie. Just like I didn't make the pentagon password, Spaceforce 2020!. Everyone knows, I don't use punctuation.

MAGA 2024,
Still President Me

If so, your humor is still on the job.

"Just because I took another dump on her father, Meghan McCain has gotta mouth off, saying no one will ever love me. . . . That's as unkind as it is untrue. . . . I mean, if I could stand to have a dog around, then maybe it would . . ."