Giuliani Says He Cannot Pay $1.3 Billion in Damages Because He Does Not Know Any Real Billionaires

[Zorro]

WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—Responding to Dominion Voting Systems’ huge defamation lawsuit against him, Rudy Giuliani said that he would not be able to pay $1.3 billion in damages because he does not know any real billionaires.

“If I knew an actual billionaire, I’d say, ‘Hey, I’m in a tough fix. Can you help me pay off this thing?’ ” Giuliani said. “But I don’t know anyone like that.”

Not only does he not know any actual billionaires, but the people he does know are “just the opposite,” Giuliani said.

“Forget about $1.3 billion,” he scoffed. “They can’t even pay their legal bills.”

The former New York mayor said that, if Dominion wins its case against him, he will have no choice but to declare bankruptcy. “I guess I do know someone who could help me with that,” he said.

https://www.newyorker.com/humor/borowitz-report/giuliani-says-he-cannot-pay-dollar13-billion-in-damages-because-he-does-not-know-any-real-billionaires

[jpljr77]

1. Hahahahahahahahahaha...oh, man. It's really happening. They're eating each other!

Oops, satire

[Shermann]

2. So Trump's not a billionaire then? FAIL nt

[niyad]

3. It's Borowitz.

[ProfessorGAC]

7. Well, No. He's Not!

Never was.
But, the OP is Andy Horowitz. So, I think that's his point.
Rudy doesn't know billionaires because his buddy is definitely not one, and Dirty Old Man Shelly is dead.

[Gothmog]

4. Good satire is based on truths-Trump has never been a real billionaire

[Gothmog]

5. I love good satire

[MrBluezDude]

6. Giuliani Says He Cannot Pay $1.3 Billion in Damages Because He Does Not Know Any Real Billionaires

Well dang... Rudy, how did you ever take on that Nob dude, smh If you said this then you're missing a beat, rather a gazillion of them these days

[choie]

8. oh well...

[malaise]

9. Too good