Dr. Justin Case here to announce what I believe will be the greatest scientific discovery of our

lifetimes: I have found the cause of Trumpism, AKA "MAGAmania" AKA "Conservatism"!

In 2014, unnoticed by most, a meteorite crashed into the frozen tundra of northern Canada after an erratic spiraling circumnavigation of the globe. While it was composed primarily of iron and nickel, it held a basketball size "nugget" of---for now, let's just call it "Double Helix Kryptonite".

It would be incorrect to say that "DHK" was radioactive: it was simply unlike any other piece of interstellar flotsam that had been serendipitously deposited on Earth. It had some sort of "reach" that permitted it to effect---almost instantly---any human DNA within 700 miles of its orbital path IF---and only if---the genetic alphabet soup of that DNA was encoded with a predisposition for authoritarianism and toxic masculinity. In other words, Republicans.

And, just how did this DHK "effect" these select people?

It TOTALLY obliterated the rung of that little spiral ladder that forms the foundation for the human conscience: the "shame gene". And that imperceptible damage to the already deeply-flawed GOP stalwarts was more than enough to enable them to actually be PROUD of their cruelty, racism, misogyny, greed---the list goes on, as we are all too aware. And, they actually felt that a kinship of sorts existed between all who hated as they did.

Their ability to keep a straight face while insisting that up was down, ice was hot and Trump was brilliant made "1984" seem like child's play with its "Slavery is Freedom". The disgust and outrage their opinions stirred in the overwhelming majority of Americans, rather than extinguish the fires of their hatred, were simply welcomed as additional fuel.

So, that's all I can talk about until we have more time to evaluate the substance recovered from the arctic plain. We do not yet know if its effects can somehow be reversed.

The last thing I will tell you is the provisional scientific name for the alien element: "assholium".