"She was actually paying me!" . . . Please come CAPTION Matt Gaetz!!!!

[skip fox]

Matt Gaetz: "She told me she had saved up her baby-sitting money to have the honor of dining with a United States Congressman, so she paid for everything. . . . And if the prosecutor doesn't buy that, I'd like him or her to know that I have got copies of e-mails and messages from several so-called 'bigger fish.' . . . Everything's going to be fine."

[soothsayer]

1. "Ew, you're 18? Back off, grandma."

[underpants]

2. Put a plaid jacket on him

And he’s selling used tires and cars in a gravel lot.

[Johonny]

3. I have faith in the American legal system that will see that justice is done

for no matter how guilty of my crimes I am, I am also very rich and extremely white so I'm sure to get fair equal treatment under the law followed by a very stern warning. After my reelection to my current post and the eventual praise of my GOP members, I plan to bilk my constituents out of money and sleep with more of their daughters to show I'm a changed man. Praise Jesus.

[OhZone]

4. You have to be this tall or lower to ride Matt Gaetz!

[jcgoldie]

5. "I'm just here at the high school to pick up my 'niece' ..."

"...We have dinner reservations with Tucker Carlson and his 'wife' at the Chucky Cheese!"

[skip fox]

6. M.G. continues:

"My 'undisclosed location' is a back tale at the Newark, New Jersey, Hooters."

[58Sunliner]

7. OMFG. "I can't believe I got caught."

[skip fox]

8. M.G. clarifies:

"Are you kidding? . . . I simply don't do legislation."

[Mr. Ected]

9. Can't a guy grab a pizza at the Comet Ping Pong and just be left alone?

I'm reviewing my 'philes, if you catch my drift.