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Thu Aug 19, 2021, 04:00 PM

Top 10 Conservative Idiots #11-6: Governors With Low Self Esteem Edition


Top 10 Conservative Idiots #11-6: Governors With Low Self Esteem Edition

Welcome back to the Top 10 Conservative Idiots! What’s up Las Vegas? Sin City! We are back! So how are you guys doing? You doing fucking good? Great! We’re very happy to be back in Sin City and it’s definitely been a while., I mean literally the last time we were here the world was on the verge of shutting down so it’s great to see things getting back up and running now, well at least sort of back up and running! And it was so great to have done the Wheel Of Corruption last week, man did I miss that! But we do have some great news – starting with our 9/9 edition we have live music back! And our first guest is none other than the almighty Weezer! That’s right – the Weez is stopping by to play from their new album “Van Weezer” which is great! And I don’t know if you saw our announcement on the Tweetsphere or not but when we come back on September 9th we are going to be temporarily dropping our exploration of the MAGA cult in “Red State Diaries” to bring you a new segment called “Road To Recall”. Folks, and especially those of you who live in California, I cannot stress enough how important it is to vote in this recall. Stop these fuckers from attempting a power grab in my great state. So we will be starting a 4 part series dedicated to the California recall and everything surrounding it. VOTE NO! It is important that we stop these fuckers in their tracks! OK enough of the intro, we have a lot of idiocy to get to. But first John Oliver is back and he discusses a very important cyber security issue:



**NOTE: Even though it is in the news right now we will *NOT* be covering the Andrew Cuomo story at least for the next couple of editions**

So where do we begin this week? Well in the number one slot this week is of course the Afghanistan SNAFU (1). Which is quite literally exactly what people predicted would happen several years ago. In the second slot this week is 2020 Election Conspiracy Theorists (2) because Dominion Voting Systems dropped the big one last week and right in the middle of Mike Lindell’s insane Cyber Symposium at that – and the lawsuits are allowed to proceed in full! Get the popcorn ready! In the number 3 slot this week is Ron DeSantis – and he’s rightfully earned the nickname Death Sentence (3), and also is a governor who is actually worthy of a recall election against him! Taking the number four slot is Congressional Trolls (4) which includes Marjorie Greene getting banned from Twitter, Rand Paul getting banned from Youtube, and a bonus – Rudy Guiliani is turning tricks on Cameo! Oh how the mighty have fallen! Taking the 5th slot this week, we have a new Top 10 Investigates (5) and this week – what’s up with Spirit Airlines? As the wheels of humanity start to turn again it’s wreaking havoc on the airline industry and low cost carriers are particularly feeling the pinch! In the number 6 slot this week is of course our weekly visit to the Holy Church Of The Top 10 in “Holy Shit” (6) and this week Christian pastors and churches are turning to historian David Barton – and this guy is peddling some absolutely dangerous misinformation about history to anyone who will listen. So who is he? We will tell you! In the number 7 slot this week is a new “Beating A Dead Horse” – Jeopardy has recruited a double round of hosts to replace the irreplaceable Alex Trebek – and fans aren’t happy about it one bit! Taking the number 8 slot this week is a new Conspiracy Corner (8) – how did Mike Lindell’s Cyber Symposium go? Well it went about as well as you might expect it would! In the number 9 (NEIN!!!) slot this week we have a new People Are Dumb, because of course they are! Finally this week we have a new edition of Red State Diaries (10) and what happened at the Sturgis Rally? Or as we’re now calling it the “Gathering Of The Deplorables”? Lots of insanity, that’s what! Enjoy! And as always don’t forget the key!

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[font size="8"]The War In Afghanistan: The End
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Those of us who lived through the George W. Bush years will remember what an absolute clusterfuck of a shit show the beginning of the War In Afghanistan over the 9/11 terrorist attacks were. Who knew we’d still be in it 20 years and trillions of dollars later? That’s right – we spent 20 years and 2 trillion dollars in an unjust war, and all we got was this lousy t-shirt. I actually wanted that as the title for this week’s edition but it was way too long. But anyway the end of the war is just as big of a clusterfuck as the beginning. And conservatives and Bernie Bros everywhere are eager to trash and slander Biden over this, but was it really his fault? Let’s take a look at the facts behind the withdrawl from Afghanistan and see where the real fault lies.

Joe Biden has said he could not see a way to withdraw from Afghanistan without “chaos ensuing”. In an exclusive interview with ABC News’ George Stephanopoulos, and the president’s first since the fall of Afghanistan to the Taliban, President Joe Biden defended his decision to withdraw troops when he did.

Ousted Afghan president Ashraf Ghani confirmed he was in the United Arab Emirates but said he was in “consultation” to return to Afghanistan.

Taliban militants attacked protesters in eastern Afghanistan on Wednesday after they dared to take down their banner and replace it with the country’s flag, killing at least one person and fuelling fears about how the insurgents plan to govern.

A senior Taliban commander met a former Afghan president, Hamid Karzai, for talks on Wednesday, as the Taliban worked to establish a government in Afghanistan amid allegations of women and children being beaten and at least three protesters being shot dead.
https://www.theguardian.com/world/live/2021/aug/18/afghanistan-live-news-updates-taliban-kabul-airport-deaths-afghan-crisis




Now you know here’s the thing – Fox News and conservatives are ready to rake Biden over the coals for Afghanistan but if you were to point out that the country’s president was in jail until Trump released him because reasons, they would cover their ears and go “la la la la la la la la”. Well there is some good news in the war on the Taliban – if you really want to fight someone, hit them where it hurts! And there’s no better place than in the pocketbook!

The Biden administration has frozen the Afghanistan government’s holdings in US banks, preventing the Taliban from accessing billions of dollars—a major, if indeterminate, part of the country’s foreign reserves.

Among the assets trapped in this freeze is a stash of gold bars deposited in the Federal Reserve Bank of New York. According to figures published by Afghanistan’s central bank, the deposit amounted to roughly 22 tons of gold as of December 2020, the most recent date for which this data is available. At current prices benchmarked by the London Bullion Market Association (LBMA), the gold is worth around $1.25 billion.

The gold represents more than a tenth of the reserves the Afghanistan government holds, in banks at home as well as in various countries including the US. The central bank, named Da Afghanistan Bank (DAB), owned around $10 billion in reserve assets as of June, according to data published by the bank. In relative terms, this is a very significant figure for Afghanistan. By comparison, the country’s GDP in 2020 was roughly $20 billion, according to the World Bank.
https://qz.com/2049375/taliban-cant-touch-afghanistans-gold-stored-away-in-the-us/




Yeah so if you really want to fight a terrorist cell, don’t use missiles. Use PIN numbers! The thing is no matter which way you look at it, Afghanistan is an absolute mess right now and that always happens after a 20 year war and attempted regime change. But really in the grand scheme of things, there was no way an attempt at a peaceful withdrawl was going to happen. Chaos was always the plan, and Biden is the “remain calm, all is well” guy.

In an exclusive interview with ABC News' George Stephanopoulos, and the president's first since the fall of Afghanistan to the Taliban, President Joe Biden stood firm in his defense of the United States' withdrawal, but asserted for the first time that he believes the chaos was unavoidable.

"So you don't think this could have been handled -- this exit could have been handled better in any way, no mistakes?" Stephanopoulos asked Biden.

"No, I don't think it could have been handled in a way that, we're gonna go back in hindsight and look -- but the idea that somehow, there's a way to have gotten out without chaos ensuing, I don't know how that happens. I don't know how that happened," Biden replied.

* * *
"Now exactly what happened, I've not priced in," he said. "But I knew that they're going to have an enormous -- Look, one of the things we didn't know is what the Taliban would do in terms of trying to keep people from getting out. What they would do. What are they doing now? They're cooperating, letting American citizens get out, American personnel get out, embassies get out, et cetera, but they're having -- we're having some more difficulty having those who helped us when we were in there."

Read more: https://www.msn.com/en-us/news/world/biden-says-he-did-not-see-a-way-to-withdraw-from-afghanistan-without-chaos-ensuing/ar-AANt9bm?ocid=msedgntp




But in case you’re wondering what Former Guy thought of the former Afghan president, well, let’s just say it’s exactly what you think that he would say. Actually it's even worse if you see the statements he's been putting out lately. Can we show that? Although here’s the thing – we don’t need that guy to go on Hannity and barf his brain about what *HE* would have done, because he always makes it about himself. Holy crap, I could have predicted he would be an unhinged lunatic and that Fox would go off the rails. Although we do have to roll that clip of Hannity plugging My Pillow, because that is fucking spectacular. But here’s what he said, and really, STFU Donny.

Republican former President Donald Trump has called Afghanistan's former President Ashraf Ghani "a total crook," adding, "He got away with murder."

Trump made his comments during a Tuesday night interview with Fox News host Sean Hannity. Hannity asked Trump about his dealings with Taliban leaders and the Afghan government as Trump prepared to withdraw U.S. military troops from the region.

First, Trump said that he negotiated with Mullah Abdul Ghani Baradar Akhund, the Taliban's co-founder. Trump said he told the Taliban leader that the U.S. troop withdrawal was a "conditions-based agreement." If the Taliban harmed any Americans or allies, Trump said, the U.S. would retaliate by bombing the leader's home village as well as other parts the country.

"I wanted [the Taliban] to get a deal done with the Afghan government," Trump continued. "Now, I never had a lot of confidence, frankly, in Ghani. I said that openly and plainly I thought he was a total crook."

https://www.msn.com/en-us/news/world/donald-trump-calls-former-afghan-president-total-crook-says-he-got-away-with-murder/ar-AANrzta




Oh and here’s that clip for good measure – it’s pretty spectacular:


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[font size="8"]Mike Lindell
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Hey look, we’ve already got an entire edition of Conspiracy Corner dedicated to Mike Lindell’s insane “Cyber Symposium” that was supposedly going to drop the big one that would cause the Supreme Court to rule 9 – 0 and reverse the 2020 election giving that guy power again. Well that didn’t happen, what we got was a whole lot of nothing. But what is real is the reason why Mike left the stage in the middle of the show when he said he wasn’t going to. Dominion Voting Systems dropped the big one against conspiracy theorists like Mike Lindell, Sydney Powell and Steve Bannon – their lawsuits are going to move forward! Yeah how about that! Let’s take these assholes down! And Dominion isn’t fucking around either – the charges against these kooks are very serious!

Three prominent allies of former U.S. President Donald Trump -Rudy Giuliani, Sidney Powell and Mike Lindell - on Wednesday lost a bid to dismiss multibillion dollar lawsuits saying their false claims about the 2020 presidential election defamed the Dominion voting equipment company.

U.S. District Judge Carl Nichols in Washington D.C. said in a written decision that lawsuits brought against the trio by Dominion Voting Systems should move forward. The company had said it was defamed because Trump and his supporters spread false claims that it rigged the election against him.

Nichols held that the First Amendment, which protects the right to free speech, offers "no blanket immunity" to Powell and Lindell in the lawsuits. Powell is a lawyer who later left the Trump campaign. Lindell is a conspiracy theorist who founded a pillow and bedding company.

The judge also rejected an argument by Giuliani, a former U.S. prosecutor and mayor of New York, that Dominion had not explained its request for money damages with enough specificity.
https://www.reuters.com/world/us/trump-allies-giuliani-powell-lose-bid-dismiss-dominion-lawsuits-2021-08-11/




Thank you Nelson! But now this has the conspiracy theorists hopping mad as they’ve counter sued Dominion for… reasons, and their asking price? A mere 4.3 billion. I can only imagine the judges either love this or hate this depending on who you talk to. At least Dominion has a legitimate case, the conspiracy theorists are just making noise and flinging their feces against the wall in the hopes that something sticks. Well it won’t stick but it definitely stinks!

One of Sidney Powell’s conspiracy-promoting pals deserves a fat paycheck—she thinks. A star “expert” for Powell’s election fraud argument before the Supreme Court—supposed former intelligence contractor, self-described “trained cryptolinguist,” podcaster, QAnon promoter, and alleged con artist Terpsichore Maras—has sued Dominion Voting Systems for $3.4 billion. Because she argues that, uh, Dominion didn’t prove her anonymous affidavit testifying that Dominion’s voting machines were vulnerable to tampering was actually wrong. In her eyes, this shows her case isn’t not untrue.

The Washington Post identified Maras by her preceding blog post which mirrored the affidavit. In December 2020, the court tossed aside findings by her and former Trump attorney Sidney Powell’s other supposed experts, stating that they “reach implausible conclusions often because they are derived from wholly unreliable sources.” In Dominion’s libel lawsuit against Powell, it claimed that Powell hadn’t even spoken to Maras before throwing up her testimony as fact, which Maras confirmed to the Washington Post.
https://gizmodo.com/sidney-powell-s-secret-intelligence-contractor-witness-1847508906




Yes cool! But first off what the hell is a “cyber linguist”? I swear they just make shit up. But there’s nothing really cool about this as it’s a colossal waste of time. But my favorite thing about this is that not only is Dominion going after conspiracy theorists like Mike Lindell and Sydney Powell, but they’re also going after pro-Trump news outlets like OAN and Newsmax for peddling “the big lie” about the 2020 election. Yup, shit just got real all right!

Dominion Voting Systems has filed billion-dollar lawsuits against two conservative television networks for their alleged spread of misinformation during the 2020 election, the company's latest move in an ongoing legal battle.

In a series of lawsuits filed Tuesday, the voting tech company accused right-wing networks Newsmax and One America News Network of spreading misinformation about the 2020 election by accusing Dominion of rigging the ballots in President Biden's favor via their voting machines. These lies have harmed the company, its employees and its customers; workers have been threatened, their offices vandalized, and the company has had to spend upwards of $600,000 on security for employees, the suit alleges.

Among other claims, OAN and Newsmax alleged that the Dominion voting machines, which were used in 28 states, deleted millions of votes for Donald Trump — a claim that has "no basis in fact or reality," the suits state.

Newsmax and OAN "knowingly and continuously sold the false story of election fraud in the 2020 presidential election with Dominion cast as the villain," a representative for Dominion told reporters this week.
https://www.npr.org/2021/08/10/1026509404/dominion-sues-conservative-media-oan-newsmax-2020-election




And that’s their bullshit for you – it is so pure! The purest ever! Nobody produces purer bullshit than they do! But if you want to know how pure their bullshit is, this might be my favorite part of the story and here’s where it gets weird, because you knew it was going to! One of my favorite parts of this story is that they are turning on each other! That’s right – Mike Lindell has accused Rick Wiles and True News of being a Media Matters plant. These guys don’t even trust themselves anymore!

MyPillow CEO Mike Lindell hosted a three-day “cyber symposium” in South Dakota last week that he claimed would provide irrefutable proof that the 2020 presidential election was hacked by foreign actors and stolen from former President Donald Trump. Lindell was so confident that he boldly offered $5 million to anyone who could disprove the legitimacy of the data he presented while predicting that the evidence would be so overwhelming that Trump would be restored to office by August 13.

Needless to say, none of that happened, as Lindell’s symposium was such an utter debacle that even his own experts were forced to admit that they had no proof of anything that Lindell had been claiming.

Predictably, Lindell reacted to the fiasco by spreading new conspiracy theories alleging that left-wing reporters worked with “antifa” activists to sabotage his event, going so far as to accuse the far-right outlet TruNews of being an “antifa” front group funded by Media Matters.

TruNews—an anti-vaccine, anti-semitic, End Times conspiracy theory network—was among the media organizations granted credentials to cover Lindell’s event. TruNews was so sympathetic to Lindell’s claims of massive voter fraud that the network sent two correspondents to broadcast from the symposium and streamed the entire event live on its website for three days.
https://www.rightwingwatch.org/post/mike-lindell-accuses-trunews-of-being-a-fake-news-front-established-by-media-matters/





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[font size="8"]Ron DeSantis
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In case you folks haven’t forgotten, we’re still in a raging pandemic! But in the last few months, the pandemic has taken a rather interesting twist – it’s currently favoring the unvaccinated and sending them to the hospital in record numbers! And it’s all thanks to the vehement denial coming from conservatives and anti-vaccine conspiracy theorists. That’s right – that killer virus is still out there and conservatives have pretty much downplayed its’ existence. One governor in particular is the reigning king of Florida Men and that’s Ron DeSantis (R – Obviously). And those of us who have been acting cautiously are rewarded with a somewhat functioning society again. But those of you who aren’t, well you’re left with this. But don’t let you think for a minute that we’re not letting Ron Death Sentence get away with this! Oh no! He’s in the spotlight for this one!

...One of the suits, filed by attorney Barry Silver, is on behalf of a father of three children living in Broward County. One of the children, who is too young to receive a Covid-19 shot, has a history of childhood asthma, the suit says.

"Florida is among the states with the highest number of Covid-19 victims in the country, and the number of afflicted people is growing rapidly. The danger to Plaintiff and his children and all others they come into contact with is severe, unreasonable, and growing by the day," the suit says.

The suit adds that the Florida Constitution says "adequate provision shall be made by law for a uniform, efficient, safe, secure, and high quality system of free public schools," and calls the governor's order unconstitutional.
The plaintiffs in the second lawsuit include parents who represent school-aged children from counties all over the state, including Miami-Dade, Orange, Hillsborough, Palm Beach and Alachua....

The second lawsuit argues several points, according to Gallagher, including that the Florida Constitution guarantees a safe school environment and gives counties the power to govern themselves. DeSantis' executive order attempts to strip the power away from school districts that are run by elected officials, Gallagher said....

Read more: https://www.cnn.com/2021/08/06/us/florida-desantis-executive-order-school-masks-first-legal-challenge-constitutionality/index.html




Yeah well tell it to Ron, don’t tell it to the kid! But here’s how fucked up Florida is right now in terms of COVID numbers. Well for one thing, they simply do not give a shit. And two – people can easily get away with shit like this. Remember last year when we told you that people were abusing their PPP funds and buying Ferraris and other expensive crap with them (see: Top 10 #9-7 )? Well Florida is full of people like this, and the reason why we ain’t getting nice things.

A former accounts manager for a nonprofit affiliated with the University of South Florida’s medical school has pleaded guilty to embezzling almost $13 million, spending most of it at an adult website with some of it coming back to him.

The Tampa Bay Times reports that Ralph Puglisi, 59, is facing up to 20 years in prison under the deal, which was recently filed in Tampa’s federal court. Puglisi had worked for the University Medical Service Association, which provides staffing and support for USF Health and other medical providers in the Tampa Bay area.

According to court documents, Puglisi spent almost $12 million at an adult website that allows users to subscribe to channels belonging to specific women, who disrobe and engage in sex acts on live video.

An investigation showed that Puglisi subscribed to a channel belonging to his stepson’s fiancee and they split almost $750,000 in profits, with Puglisi taking 60%.

Read more: https://apnews.com/article/technology-business-10de0f8f7f00bba5ba6939fa44bf7345




Well between people like this and governor Death Sentence at the helm, I assume that Florida will get this thing under control... 100 years from now. And that's assuming that some home grown Florida mutant doesn't escape and kill everybody first. Oh and don't think for a minute that won't happen because if there's one state that could be responsible for death of humanity, it's Florida. But this is more like Governors With Low Self Esteem… thank you graphics department! Yes, Ron is the first subject here!

As Florida contends with a massive surge in Covid cases, Governor Ron DeSantis seems devoted to making it more difficult to stop the spread in public schools.

On Monday, the day many Florida students headed back to school, DeSantis issued a statement making clear that any school administrator who imposes a mask mandate, in violation of his executive order banning such rules, could face financial consequences. Specifically, he suggested that “the State Board of Education could move to withhold the salary of the district superintendent or school board members, as a narrowly tailored means to address the decision-makers who led to the violation of law.”

Many Florida school districts have indeed imposed mask mandates, but most are unlikely to run afoul of DeSantis, since they provide carve-outs for parents who don’t want to comply. Christina Pushaw, a spokeswoman for DeSantis, said on Twitter that the penalties DeSantis were threatening wouldn’t apply to such schools. Those that require doctor’s notes to opt out, though, could be in the crosshairs.

In any case, multiple school administrators said they would ignore DeSantis’s threats. Alberto M. Carvalho, the superintendent of Miami public schools, said that “At no point shall I allow my decision to be influenced by a threat to my paycheck.”

https://www.msn.com/en-us/news/us/ron-desantis-takes-his-hatred-of-mask-mandates-to-a-new-level/ar-AAN9ITI




That is a good point, sir! He really does suck! And in case you’re wondering just how dumb Ron Death Sentence is, he actually had to have Fox News walk him through how to hold a press conference once the vaccines became available. Talk about someone with some really low self esteem. And come on, having Fox News hold your hand on the vaccine issue is like putting the D student in charge of a master’s level class. You’re probably bound to flunk it, or at least not comprehend the information available to you.

An analysis of four months worth of emails from Ron DeSantis' (R) office reveals the Florida governor's myriad appearances on Fox News to be "carefully crafted" ahead of time — so much so, the network even helped the 2024 standout stage a vaccination news event back in January, the Tampa Bay Times reports.

DeSantis' office, attempting to paint a more flattering picture of Florida's confusing vaccine rollout and overshadow images of desperate seniors in long lines, pitched an appearance from the governor to Fox & Friends. The top-rated show's producers were thrilled, and a "plan came together in a flurry of emails and phone calls" over the next several days, per Tampa Bay.

The governor's team "provided a senior, a location, and the talking points," while Fox brought "the cameras and its audience." No other media was allowed in. The segment, which featured a 100-year-old veteran receiving his first shot while DeSantis cracked jokes and "boasted that Florida was leading the country in vaccinating older residents," aired on Jan. 22.

The event is just one instance of there being "few surprises" when DeSantis appears on Fox, writes Tampa Bay. Topics, talking points, and sometimes even graphics are reportedly shared in advance.

https://www.yahoo.com/news/fox-news-reportedly-helped-ron-162333445.html





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[font size="8"]Conservative Online Trolls
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We always emphasize on this program that if you see trolling going on, don’t hesitate to use that report button! No, not on me! Them! Use it on them! It turns out that people are finally using that advice and telling Twitter, Facebook, and Youtube where the trolls are! Well the preferred Congresswoman of your creepy uncle – Marjorie Taylor Greene (Q – Batshit) was banned from Twitter yet again. What for this time you might ask? Well I answer you – because she was peddling dangerous conspiracy theories about the COVID vaccine. People we can’t emphasize enough – this virus is nothing to fuck with. Get the vaccine and take the necessary precautions you need to keep safe. But then again on the flip side there’s people like Marjorie Taylor Greene who it seems like they almost want the virus to win. Maybe it’s a bad case of Stockholm Syndrome, who knows? But anyway… you can’t fix stupid.

Twitter (TWTR) has suspended Rep. Marjorie Taylor Greene's account for one week following another violation of the platform's rules, the company said Tuesday.

Greene tweeted on Monday that the Food and Drug Administration "should not approve the covid vaccines." She also claimed the vaccines were "failing" and that they were ineffective at reducing the virus's spread.

In response, Twitter labeled the tweet as misleading and prevented Greene from tweeting for one week.

The tweet, a company spokesperson said, "was labeled in line with our COVID-19 misleading information policy. The account will be in read-only mode for a week due to repeated violations of the Twitter Rules."

Tuesday's suspension marks at least the third and toughest penalty Twitter has imposed on Greene for sharing misinformation. In January, Greene was suspended for 12 hours from Twitter for sharing conspiracy theories about the Georgia Senate runoff elections, a move that the company said violated its civic integrity policy. In July, Twitter suspended Greene again for 12 hours for sharing misinformation about Covid-19 and vaccines. (Greene was also temporarily suspended in March but was soon reinstated after Twitter said its automated systems had acted in error.)
https://www.cnn.com/2021/08/10/tech/twitter-marjorie-taylor-greene/index.html




Thank you Nelson! You know if you’re not fit for Twitter, you’re probably not fit for Congress, either! We are just saying, that’s all! If that’s not enough, another one of our favorite senators, Kentucky’s Rand Paul (Q – Batshit) also got banned from Youtube in the same week! But you know the really scary thing with these assholes is? They’re wearing their “banned” label like it’s a badge of honor or something. I guess this is Alex Jones’ doing?

Sen. Rand Paul, a Kentucky Republican, has been suspended from YouTube for seven days over a video claiming that masks are ineffective in fighting Covid-19, according to a YouTube spokesperson.

"This resulted in a first strike on the channel, which means it can't upload content for a week, per our longstanding three strikes policy," the spokesperson said. "We apply our policies consistently across the platform, regardless of speaker or political views, and we make exceptions for videos that have additional context such as countervailing views from local health authorities."

Paul criticized the decision by YouTube in a tweet on Tuesday.

"Leftwing cretins at YouTube banning me for 7 days for a video that quotes 2 peer reviewed articles saying cloth masks don't work," he wrote, calling the suspension a "badge of honor."

Paul's tweet included a link to watch the video on an alternate platform.
https://www.cnn.com/2021/08/11/tech/rand-paul-youtube-suspension/index.html




Damn straight! Hey Rand – it’s not “left wing cretins” who are responsible for you getting banned, it’s you! So I say this with every left wing cell in my body – go fuck yourself! But while conservatives are on the losing side of the argument, this might be my absolute favorite story of the week. Remember the guy who was once Trump’s lawyer and the mayor of the city of New York during one of the worst catastrophes in modern history? I’m of course talking about Rudy Guiliani. It turns out after getting banned to practicing law in New York, he’s now reduced to turning tricks on Cameo. Looking for that last minute gift for that special someone? Here ya go!

Rudy Giuliani, the staunch ally of Donald Trump who is facing a multi-million dollar defamation lawsuit related to his attempts to undermine the US presidential elections, has embraced a new potential earning stream.

Internet users, should they be inspired to do so, can now buy customized video messages from Giuliani, who has joined Cameo, a service that sells personalized videos recorded by celebrities.

“Hi. It’s Rudy Giuliani and I’m on Cameo” Giuliani says in a video posted on his Cameo page on Tuesday.

He goes on to say: “If there is an issue you want to discuss or a story you’d like to hear or share with me or a greeting that I can bring to someone that would bring happiness to their day, I would be delighted to do it. It can be arranged. We can talk through the magic of Cameo.”

The price? That starts at $199 (£140).
https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2021/aug/11/rudy-giuliani-cameo-personalized-video-messages




That’s pretty much what getting a personalized message from Guiliani on Cameo is like. Maybe without less blood. But I do have one last story in the miscellaneous wingnut category – Stephen Segal. You might remember him from such movies as Under Siege and Under Siege 2. Well we at the Top 10 tracked down his whereabouts. And in a shocking (not) turn of events – Mr. America is now Mr. Kremlin and he’s about as hard right as it gets!

Hollywood actor Steven Seagal, who has Russian citizenship, has joined a pro-Kremlin political party.

The A Just Russia party backs almost all Kremlin initiatives and supports President Vladimir Putin but is a rival of the ruling United Russia party.

At a ceremony on May 29, Seagal posed for pictures next to one of the party leaders, Russian writer Zakhar Prilepin, who is associated with Russia-backed separatists that are fighting against Ukrainian government forces in eastern Ukraine.

Seagal, who has personal ties with Putin, was given Russian citizenship in 2016.
https://www.rferl.org/a/russia-steven-seagal-joins-pro-kremlin-party-putin/31281188.html





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[font size="8"]Top 10 Investigates: Spirit Airlines SNAFUs
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It’s time to investigate beyond the headlines! This is Top 10 Investigates!



As the gears of humanity are starting to grind again after being shut down for the majority of 2020, some things are having a hard time getting going again. One of those things is airlines, particularly the low cost carrier variety of airline. Many of them had to park their planes at logistics airports like in Victorville and Tuscon while humanity dealt with the harsh reality of COVID-19. Now that the worst of it seems to be behind us, some things are having a hard time getting back to normal. And one of the worst hit airlines seems to be Spirit. The Florida-based airline with cool-looking airplanes and heavy amounts of advertising was one of the worst hit as the gears of humanity are starting to turn again. But what will it take to get the air travel industry as we knew it to get back together again? Well it’s going to take a lot, starting with airlines like Spirit getting back on the grid again.

"We're sorry."

The subject line on the email from Spirit Airlines at 5:20 a.m. Friday scared me. I was due to fly from Las Vegas to Dallas in two hours and figured the flight was canceled, a victim of the budget airline's multiday meltdown.

It wasn't. The letter from Spirit was an apology, complete with a $50 voucher, for what happened on my "recent rip," though I had zero issues on two Spirit flights the day before.

The pilot on the Las Vegas to Dallas flight also apologized, even though the flight departed early.

"If you've been affected by delays and cancellations over the last week, we do apologize," he said before takeoff. "We understand your frustration. Thanks for hanging in there with us."

Spirit CEO Ted Christie has been on an apology tour, too, telling USA TODAY Saturday he will continue to say sorry after more than 2,000 flight cancellations in a week. The airline scrubbed as many as 60% of its flights on the worst days as it struggled to get flight crews where they needed to be.
https://www.usatoday.com/story/travel/airline-news/2021/08/10/spirit-airlines-flight-cancellations-stranded-passengers-airline-apology/5515041001/




You know things are bad when the CEO is forced to go on an apology tour. But also “parade of incompetence” really is a highly suspect phrase. But rebooting humanity after it has to clear itself of a deadly virus is much like rebooting your computer, it will take time and patience and if it doesn’t work the first time, wait for the update and reboot again. Of course the latest update certainly didn’t help things but then again this is Spirit Airlines.

Spirit Airlines Inc. on Wednesday canceled hundreds more flights but said it is working to reset operations.

The low-cost airline canceled 60% of its flights Wednesday for the second day in a row, according to FlightAware. Spirit has been grappling with what it has described as “overlapping operational challenges” since Sunday, including bad weather, technology-system outages and staffing shortages.

Spirit said Wednesday that the airline was rebooting its network to help speed the process of reassigning crews and restoring flights. A spokesman said the airline expects the number of canceled flights to begin to fall Thursday and in the coming days.

“The last three days were extremely difficult for our Guests and Team Members, and for that we sincerely apologize,” the airline said in a statement. The airline said it had planned to learn from the problems and had identified ways to improve.
https://www.wsj.com/articles/spirit-cancellations-continue-as-airline-reboots-network-11628112404




Gee… you think? This has been a difficult time for all of us but, as Will Ferrell famously said in Old School, “we have to keep our composure!”. But if you lose out to one airline, complaining to another certainly isn’t going to help things. So what happens when one loses out on a Spirit Airlines flight and goes to complaint to another carrier like Frontier or Allegiant? Well the other airlines are not going to like it too much, that’s for sure!

All looked serene at the Frontier Airlines counter for part of the day. But Frank Ortiz and his family says for a part of the day, it was a scene of wall-to-wall people and much frustration.

“Understaffed. They had two people there. All type sof people in line. Super long line,” said Frank Ortiz, a Frontier passenger.

Salem resident Olga Rivera was trying to get her family to Orlando for her grandmother’s funeral. She says the Airlines didn’t have enough staff to handle everybody.

“This is outrageous,” said Rivera. “The line for the counter, all of this was full.”
https://boston.cbslocal.com/2021/08/05/this-is-outrageous-frontier-airlines-turn-away-booked-travelers-due-to-understaffing-issues/




That’s it this week for Top 10 Investigates. Good day.




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[font size="8"]Holy Shit: David Barton
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Gather around my fair brothers and sisters! It’s time to take a seat in the pew and pass the collection plate, for the Holy Church Of The Top 10 has convened and it’s time to remind you that the holiest among us are the most full of:



My fair congregation! You know we live in troubled times. There’s a plague, and wars still going on, and assholes attempting to rewrite history to cover up racism… and that’s what we’re here for today. We’re here for the latter. The next time your Christian right neighbors start spouting dangerous conspiracy theories and begin attacking education, you might want to learn the name of who’s peddling this misinformation to them. But that man’s name is David Barton. I don’t know if y’all are familiar with the works of Mr. Barton, but your real pastor might be! For this man is very dangerous because people listen to him. He is what one might call a “false prophet”. And he is a supporter of the unholy, ungodly Dark One – you know, I speak of a man so disgusting that his name shall not be spoken in my church! So what does Mr. Barton stand for you might ask? Well he’s attempting to whitewash history for starters!

Religious-right activist Chad Connelly appeared on the Truth & Liberty Coalition’s weekly livestream program Monday, where he announced that he and right-wing pseudo-historian David Barton will be launching a multi-week, 16-state, 40-city “American Restoration Tour” after Labor Day.

Connelly, a longtime GOP activist who now runs an organization called Faith Wins, said that Barton’s work has been “massively influential” to him, so he decided to take Barton to churches all around the country. the aim, he said, is to “teach Christians why God’s role in America is irreplaceable” and get them mobilized heading into the midterm elections in 2022.

A former chair of the South Carolina Republican Party, Connelly led faith outreach efforts for the Republican National Committee during the 2016 presidential election campaign.

“We’re going to do meetings of pastors, and churches, and activists, and people that care about our nation, and we’re going to make sure they get to hear from David Barton,” Connelly said. “We’re going to be all over the nation. We want to fill venues. … We want to put as many people as we can in front of David Barton so we get a renewed interest and understanding of how special America is and how God’s had his hand on America from the very beginning.”
https://www.rightwingwatch.org/post/david-barton-will-be-peddling-his-pseudo-history-in-churches-around-the-nation-in-preparation-for-the-midterm-elections/




Yes! Now if you’re wondering just how dangerous Mr. Barton can be he’s not only a historian who has a dangerous recollection of history and is trying to make it white supremacist friendly, he’s also vehemently anti-LGBT! And that’s not what the good LAWRD JAYSUS would want now, is it? Now again we talk about how the far right is cozying up to neo Nazi Hungarian leader Viktor Orban, and it’s a very dangerous ideology. But how dangerous is it? Well “very” is putting it lightly!

Earlier this month, Hungary’s National Assembly passed legislation banning portrayals of homosexuality or transgender individuals in any content aimed at those under the age of 18, a move that was heartily approved by religious-right pseudo-historian David Barton.

American religious-right activists have long admired Hungarian Prime Minister Viktor Orbán, an anti-democratic strongman who has oppressed news media and civil society in the name of protecting “traditional values,” so it was no surprise to see Barton praise this latest crackdown.

“There’s five nations in Eastern Europe that were former Soviet bloc nations that we would describe as very young Christian nations,” Barton said during an appearance last Wednesday on The Victory Channel. “They’re heavily Christian, heavily influenced by Christian teaching values. You have Hungary, you have the Czech Republic, you have Romania, you have Ukraine, and you have Poland, and they are trying to have their policy line up with traditional biblical values. They believe that God will bless their nation if they do those things.”

“And so I applaud those guys for doing that,” Barton continued. “And quite frankly, most American Christians probably would not have stood with that because we’re so scared of getting beat up on by media and others. But that is a biblically correct position that you have; there are moral rights and wrongs and sexuality, and those are five nations in Eastern Europe that have been trying to uphold biblical standards on morality, and good for them.”
https://www.rightwingwatch.org/post/david-barton-praises-hungarys-latest-anti-lgbtq-crackdown/




But how long is that going to take? And I ask you my fair congregation – remember last year when the Dark One wanted to peddle his own “1776 Commission” to rival the New York Times’ 1917 Project? So when you put a dangerous man like Mr. Barton at the helm it could have the potential to backfire on you, so beware! And come on, when you run a podcast called “Wallbuilders” I think it should be pretty clear which side of the wall you’re on!

In November, President Donald Trump issued an executive order creating a “1776 Commission” for the purpose of “promoting patriotic education.” Alleging that liberals have hijacked the teaching of history by presenting “one-sided and divisive accounts [that] too often ignore or fail to properly honor and recollect the great legacy of the American national experience,” Trump’s commission aims to “provide America’s young people access to what is genuinely inspiring and unifying in our history, as well as to the lessons imparted by the American experience of overcoming great national challenges.”

This is exactly the sort of nonsense argument long made by prominent right-wing pseudo-historian David Barton of WallBuilders, whose entire enterprise is built on the false notion that the United States of America was founded as a Christian nation. As such, it was no surprise to learn that Republican Rep. Barry Loudermilk of Georgia is circulating a letter to his fellow members of Congress urging Trump to name Barton as the chairman of the 1776 Commission.

Loudermilk, a longtime acolyte of Barton and his warped presentation of American history, announced the effort while introducing Barton at Roopville Road Baptist Church in Georgia Sunday.

“I have put a letter together trying to get as many members of Congress to sign on to this recommending David Barton to chair that national commission,” Loudermilk said. “So, I hope you join with me in praying that we can get that done because I think that would be huge.”
https://www.rightwingwatch.org/post/rep-barry-loudermilk-wants-david-barton-to-chair-trumps-1776-commission/




And in case you’re wondering what qualifies Mr. Barton as a historian – he can’t even get the amendments right! Let’s also not forget that he wrote his own version of the Bible which calls for a Christian Nation to be established. That is some scary white supremacist talk. But my favorite thing is his bizarre interpretation of the third amendment. If you don’t know exactly what this means, I suggest that you need to relearn basic lessons on the founding of this country. Because that is what the good LAWRD JAYSUS commands!

While speaking at Cornerstone Church in Texas last weekend, right-wing pseudo-historian David Barton claimed that government overreach during the COVID-19 pandemic has led to wholesale violations of the Bill of Rights, including the Third Amendment, which prohibits the quartering of soldiers in private homes.

Barton made the comment in passing, so he never explained exactly how the Third Amendment had supposedly been violated in recent months. But while speaking at Crosspoint Community Church in Missoula, Montana, this Sunday, Barton made this claim again, and this time, he explained what he meant.

Not surprisingly, his argument was absurd even by his standards.

“The Third Amendment says, essentially, that the government can’t set up shop in your house,” Barton said. “And now we’ve seen, particularly in states like Virginia and elsewhere, ‘Oh, we’ve heard that you’ve been exposed to COVID. We’re going to put an ankle bracelet to make sure you can’t leave your house. We’re going to monitor everywhere you go, everything you do.’ No, that’s Third Amendment stuff. The government can’t set up shop in my house.”
https://www.rightwingwatch.org/post/david-barton-claims-the-use-of-ankle-monitors-violates-the-third-amendment/




So if your church starts boasting about this guy’s teachings, run away! In fact stay as far away as you can for this kind of thing is dangerous! Mass has ended, may you go in peace! That’s it this week for:




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[font size="8"]Beating A Dead Horse: Double Jeopardy
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You can’t associate the show Jeopardy without picturing its’ iconic host – the man, the myth, the legend that is the late, great Mr. Alex Trebek. Well let’s face facts – there is absolutely no one who could replace Mr. Trebek. The man is literally irreplacable. OK maybe I could see Will Ferrell replacing him and doing his Alex Trebek impression. That’s about it. Now let’s meet the new hosts – on one hand is the show’s executive producer, Mike Richards. No, not that Michael Richards, who you might know best as Kramer from Seinfeld. Not that guy. And on the other hand is former Blossom star and current neuroscientist Mayim Bialik.

When the new season of "Jeopardy!" debuts on September 13, executive producer Mike Richards will be behind the host lectern.

Richards was named the official new host on Wednesday, as expected, but Sony Pictures Television also announced a surprise: Mayim Bialik will be the host of occasional prime time episodes of the beloved game show.

Bialik will lead "primetime and spinoff series, including the upcoming all-new Jeopardy! National College Championship set to air on ABC next year, as the studio looks to extend the Jeopardy! franchise to new platforms," Sony said in a statement.

The Daily Beast was first to break the news.

Given the popularity of the daily syndicated show that was helmed by Alex Trebek for decades, it's only logical that Sony wants to keep trying to expand in new directions.
https://www.cnn.com/2021/08/11/media/jeopardy-hosts-mayim-bialik-mike-richards/index.html




So Jeopardy has new hosts for the first time in 37 years. And longtime fans aren’t happy one bit. And the reason why that is is because they left out one very popular host in all of the rotating list of guest hosts was La Var Burton. But he wasn’t picked. And that said, how can we not react to the controversy? I will tell you why: We still can’t travel like we used to, and we’re bored. Get how that works? So how did this all go wrong? Well it’s simple.

According to several entertainment industry reports, Mike Richards has been named the new permanent host of “Jeopardy!,” following in the footsteps of the late Alex Trebek. After the November death of Trebek, who had hosted the popular quiz show for more than 30 years, a series of guest hosts stepped in. The lineup included “Jeopardy!” “Greatest of All Time” champion Ken Jennings, TV veterans Katie Couric, Robin Roberts, Savannah Guthrie, Anderson Cooper, Bill Whitaker, George Stephanopoulos, and Dr. Sanjay Gupta, NFL star Aaron Rodgers, actors Mayim Bialik and LeVar Burton, and more.

Richards, who is an also an executive producer of “Jeopardy!,” was one of the guest hosts, following the tenure of Jennings earlier this year. Though news has been circulating that Richards was in negotiations to take over as permanent host, controversy clouded that choice as reports emerged of women who filed discrimination lawsuits involving their appearance on “The Price is Right,” during the period when Richards was a producer of that show.

As The Hollywood Reporter notes, Brandi Cochran filed a discrimination lawsuit against CBS and FremantleMedia in 2010, alleging that after taking time off for her pregnancy, Cochran wasn’t invited to return to “The Price is Right,” where she had worked as a model. The case was eventually settled.
https://www.oregonlive.com/entertainment/2021/08/jeopardy-names-executive-producer-mike-richards-as-new-host-despite-controversy.html




Excuse me a minute… so yeah there’s no question that Mike Richards is a womanizing asshole and they’re apparently OK with it, which is why they hired Mayim Bialik to cohost the show with him. Why wouldn’t you appoint yourself as the host of a show… oh wait that’s exactly what we did! And you know what? We’re still here five years running! Oh yeah that’s because I have no controversy associated with my show! But let’s face it, this whole thing was fucked to begin with!

Replacing an icon on a beloved show is a daunting task. For Jeopardy!, it has become virtually a mission impossible as a legion of passionate fans, still grieving over the death of host Alex Trebek, has been measuring up potential successors against their idol.

The high stakes led to intense scrutiny where candidates’ present — and past — were put under a microscope as celebrities took turns behind the Jeopardy! lectern in what the audience assumed was an auditioning process. The thorough public vetting resulted in the search taking an early turn when past champion Ken Jennings’ tweets dented his chances, and it may again impact the race in its final stage as old discrimination lawsuits involving Jeopardy! executive producer Mike Richards are taking on a new life as he has been nearing a deal for the job.

Back in November, just two weeks after Trebek’s death, Jennings was announced as the first guest host for the venerable syndicated game show. Already a Jeopardy! legend with his record winning streak and a Greatest of All Time title, the popular — and likable — Jennings was considered a clear frontrunner and the one to beat as Trebek’s successor.
https://deadline.com/2021/08/jeopardy-host-controversy-mike-richards-ken-jennings-search-1234810536/




No I would think she wouldn’t! But what do the actual producers of the show think about this controversy? Well we can sit here and point fingers and engage in the circular firing squad all we want and we ain’t goin’ nowhere. But the truth of the matter is there’s no one who can replace Alex Trebek and whoever tanks the show might as well take the Jeopardy name with them. But we’ll keep watching as long as they keep making the shows!

Jeopardy! executive producer Mike Richards addresses the controversy surrounding reports of him becoming the show's permanent host. After the game show's longtime host, Alex Trebek, passed away last year, several guest hosts have stepped in to try and fill his shoes. Ken Jennings, the former Jeopardy! champion, was the first to appear on the show in Trebek's former role, followed by the Roots and Reading Rainbow star LeVar Burton, NFL quarterback Aaron Rodgers, and the controversial Dr. Oz.

Several cable news hosts have also stepped in to guest host Jeopardy!, including Anderson Cooper, Katie Couric, Robin Roberts, and George Stephanopoulos, but everyone knew a permanent host would eventually be named to succeed Trebek. Last week, Jeopardy! took a major step toward replacing him when Mike Richards, the show's executive producer and prior guest host, was reportedly in advanced negotiations to become the full-time replacement. This decision was immediately met with disappointment from those who wanted to see Burton named permanent host, who seems to be the most popular choice after an online petition went viral. This controversy was then compounded by some comments Richards made regarding a colleague's pregnancy during his time working on The Price is Right, which surfaced online.
https://screenrant.com/jeopardy-mike-richards-host-controversy-allegation-response/





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[font size="8"]Conspiracy Corner
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Welcome back to our segment that attempts to explain the unexplainable – Conspiracy Corner! We are of course coming to you live from our underground doomsday prepper shelter deep within the heart of the New Mexico badlands – undisclosed location of course! Just let me adjust my tin foil hat for maximum government interference – they are trying to read my thoughts after all! This week – the entire world watched in awe as the CEO of My Pillow, Mike Lindell, attempted to explain how the 2020 election was stolen. Well, maybe not so much the entire world, but a couple hundred people gathered in a stuffy South Dakota warehouse. And how did it go? Well it went about as well as you could possibly expect a gathering of only the most crazy and deluded of us to go.

Mike Lindell, the CEO of MyPillow, has launched a three-day “cyber symposium” aimed at providing incontrovertible evidence that the 2020 presidential election was stolen from Donald Trump by an evil cabal of hackers and politicos.

Among the numerous rightwing figures in media, business, and GOP politics that have pushed the conspiratorial election fraud claims, Lindell stands out as one of the movement’s most prominent nutcases. Having apparently made it a mission to preach the gospel of Trump wherever he goes, Lindell has been promoting his weird event for weeks—even going on CNN, where he got into a heated argument with Drew Griffin about the validity of his dubious claims.

The cyber symposium, held in Sioux Falls, S.D. Aug. 10-12, is now being continuously live-streamed via the businessman’s buggy farce of a website, Frank, and is supposed to feature hard data that proves (once and for all!) that votes were manipulated in favor of Joe Biden last November.

The event has attracted a weird mix of attendees, including a who’s who of Trump’s most influential supporters. Steve Bannon, the alleged architect of the former president’s successful 2016 campaign, has been photographed around the event. Similarly, rightwing conspiracy theorist Ron Watkins (who has been pinpointed as the likeliest “Q” of QAnon), also video-streamed into the symposium to add his two cents. Even Eduardo Bolsonaro, the son of Brazilian President Jair Bolsonaro (an alleged Trump pal), for some reason showed up.
https://gizmodo.com/mypillow-ceos-cyber-symposium-is-already-a-deranged-cir-1847465431




So it was basically a gathering of conspiracy theorists to hear one of the key conspiracy theorists barf his brain for 72 hours. We’ve talked about how dangerous and crazy Mike Lindell is, and he’s really a snifter away from just going into a total cocaine induced burnout. So what happens when you literally sit on a stage for 72 hours and just talk about bullshit? Well a whole lot and it got really weird really fast, which is what most of us were expecting anyways.

MyPillow CEO Mike Lindell hosted a three-day “cyber symposium” in South Dakota last week that he claimed would provide irrefutable proof that the 2020 presidential election was hacked by foreign actors and stolen from former President Donald Trump. Lindell was so confident that he boldly offered $5 million to anyone who could disprove the legitimacy of the data he presented while predicting that the evidence would be so overwhelming that Trump would be restored to office by August 13.

Needless to say, none of that happened, as Lindell’s symposium was such an utter debacle that even his own experts were forced to admit that they had no proof of anything that Lindell had been claiming.

Predictably, Lindell reacted to the fiasco by spreading new conspiracy theories alleging that left-wing reporters worked with “antifa” activists to sabotage his event, going so far as to accuse the far-right outlet TruNews of being an “antifa” front group funded by Media Matters.

TruNews—an anti-vaccine, anti-semitic, End Times conspiracy theory network—was among the media organizations granted credentials to cover Lindell’s event. TruNews was so sympathetic to Lindell’s claims of massive voter fraud that the network sent two correspondents to broadcast from the symposium and streamed the entire event live on its website for three days.
https://www.rightwingwatch.org/post/mike-lindell-accuses-trunews-of-being-a-fake-news-front-established-by-media-matters/




Now here’s where it gets weird and you knew it was going to! So apparently at one point in this Bore-A-Palooza, Mike Lindell went off stage despite that he said he was going to be there the full 72 hours because they were protestin something. What that is we’re not exactly clear. But when he went off stage, it was presumably because he got the news that Dominion was coming for him. Guess what happened next? He was “attacked” by – and I’m quoting directly – “Antifa thugs”. I can’t even.

MyPillow CEO Mike Lindell appeared visibly shaken on Thursday as he discussed a physical "attack" he suffered during this week's "cyber symposium," the event at which he promised to share irrefutable evidence of industrial-scale voter fraud that would propel former President Donald Trump back into office.

"When I got to my hotel, I... I was attacked," Lindell said during an on-stage speech at the symposium, his voice audibly shaking. He immediately turned things over to one of his security professionals to outline how the event's "red team" had discovered agitators within the facility — but Salon was unable to find any evidence of those allegations.

Though the predicted Aug. 13 "reinstatement day" has now come and gone without any evidence to prove the widespread election tampering Lindell alleges, the pillow maven is now claiming that the assault he referenced on stage involved a fan squeezing his armpit just a little too hard while posing for a picture — a detail which has led a number of right-wing sites to speculate that the outspoken Trump supporter was the subject of a "martial-arts" style pressure-point attack.

According to an interview Lindell gave to right-wing blog "100 Percent Fed Up" Friday, the incident happened at the Sheraton hotel in Sioux Falls, South Dakota, late Wednesday night.
https://www.salon.com/2021/08/14/mike-lindell-shares-details-of-alleged-attack-during-cyber-symposium-photo-op/




But here’s where it gets even weirder – the “attacker” who wanted a picture of Lindell has a reputation of being a “selfie seeker”. Selfie Seekers by the way – saw them at the Troub, awesome band! And I mean come on really, what kind of depraved soul do you have to be to get a selfie with the guy who hawks crappy merchandise on late night TV? And I’m not talking about that other guy who once hawked cheap crap on late night TV, either!

Like his outlandish tales of baseless election fraud, MyPillow CEO Mike Lindell’s story about being “attacked” in a South Dakota hotel by a mysterious member of antifa is getting weirder the more he talks about it.

Lindell claims he was confronted by an aggressive selfie seeker who poked him really hard, causing him pain, as they posed for a photo late Wednesday during his bizarre Cyber Symposium in Sioux Falls.

“I was attacked taking a picture,” he said Thursday on the conservative program “Flashpoint,” which runs on the social media platform Rumble.

Lindell said that two “guys kind of ran” toward him in his hotel, and one said, “Can I get a picture?’” But Lindell said the man wasn’t running “like a fan; it was just something different.”

Then the other guy “put his arm around and stuck his finger, it was so much pressure,” Lindell said, without specifying exactly where the finger was.
https://www.huffpost.com/entry/mike-lindell-my-pillow-antifa-attack-cyber-symposium_n_611724c2e4b07b9118ab2c27





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[font size="8"]People Are Dumb
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Hit it!



Of course you know by now that people are people, and people are dumb. And this week we’re going to dedicate the entire thing to our good friend Florida Man. Yes now that the gears of society are starting to grind again, our old buddy from the Sunshine State is back to his usual tricks. And there’s some good ones this week. I’m not talking about the Florida Man who’s currently running the Sunshine State either, but there’s some good stories of just Florida Man being well, Florida Man. I want to start with this story out of Tampa. And let’s face it, everyone has had to deal with shady accounting managers at one point or another. But what do they spend it on? Well most people who steal this kind of money usually buy huge houses or supercars or whatever they want. This guy? Well he decided to pad his spank bank. Yes, you heard me!

A former accounts manager for a nonprofit affiliated with the University of South Florida’s medical school has pleaded guilty to embezzling almost $13 million, spending most of it at an adult website with some of it coming back to him.

The Tampa Bay Times reports that Ralph Puglisi, 59, is facing up to 20 years in prison under the deal, which was recently filed in Tampa’s federal court. Puglisi had worked for the University Medical Service Association, which provides staffing and support for USF Health and other medical providers in the Tampa Bay area.

According to court documents, Puglisi spent almost $12 million at an adult website that allows users to subscribe to channels belonging to specific women, who disrobe and engage in sex acts on live video.

An investigation showed that Puglisi subscribed to a channel belonging to his stepson’s fiancee and they split almost $750,000 in profits, with Puglisi taking 60%.
https://apnews.com/article/technology-business-10de0f8f7f00bba5ba6939fa44bf7345




Next up – we go to this story out of Clearwater. And come on, can someone tell me what they’re putting in the water in Clearwater? I feel like we see at least one story per week from Clearwater. But look… here’s the thing. Buying a new car is exciting, am I right? I bought a new car last year, I know how it feels to get a new vehicle. But here’s a pro tip – if you go to a dealer expecting to test drive, maybe I don’t know, don’t steal the car first! Especially when they have your existing car and driver’s license info!

Police say a woman in Clearwater took a car for a test drive and never returned.

Investigators shared a photo of the woman they're looking for in the grand theft investigation.

The unidentified woman walked into a dealership on Monday to test a 2018 Honda Accord. She showed her ID to workers before leaving in the car.

Fortunately, police recovered the car on Wednesday.

Authorities believe she may have had help.

Police shared a photo of a man who came with her to the dealership.
https://cbs12.com/news/local/florida-woman-steals-car-after-test-drive




Must kill Moe! Wheee! Next up – again back to Clearwater. Seriously, what is it about that town? We could do an entire segment of People Are Dumb, just from Clearwater. It’s the Florida of Florida, that’s Florida squared! Well this one began as a dispute over dinner, and dinner party fights almost never end well. Just ask Jan and Michael Scott from the Office. At least we’re not trying to dupe people into buying scented candles. But when the food starts flying, don’t be surprised if the cops are called!

A Florida man and woman took a trip to the big house after a domestic altercation ended with the tossing of some saucy noodles.

According to police, 45-year-old Stephanie Lannas and 35-year-old Adolfo Rivera were in an argument that led to a physical confrontation.

Officers say that both suspects, and victims, which in the case the pair are both, shoved plates of spaghetti in each other’s faces.

When officers were called to the couple’s residence in Clearwater, they were both covered in spaghetti upon the officer’s arrival.

The arrest affidavit states that alcohol was a factor in the pasta mayhem.
https://www.tampafp.com/florida-man-and-woman-arrested-after-spatting-with-spaghetti/




Yeah so don’t go to their dinner parties. Next up – we go to Miami for this one. Anyway a professional runner – I didn’t know that was a thing – has made multiple attempts to run from Florida to New York in a homemade contraption (god… sound familiar? ). But this might require more planning in advance, especially on the matters of security!

A man inside a makeshift bubble floating along the Atlantic Ocean washed ashore in Florida Saturday.

It was the latest attempt by runner Reza Baluchi to run across the sea inside a cylindrical contraption he calls a “hydropod.” This time, he was headed from Florida to New York to raise money for first responders, sick children and people who are homeless, he said.

The Flagler County Sheriff’s Office reported that the Baluchi, 49, left St. Augustine Friday in his hydropod with the goal of reaching New York.

He had to turn back after discovering some of his safety and navigation equipment had been stolen. His belongings were eventually recovered, but they’re essential for his maritime journeys, he said.

The Sheriff’s Office wants the vessel off the beach, but rough weather in the area is complicating efforts.

It wasn’t Baluchi’s first time trying to set sail in Atlantic waters in a flotation device. In 2014, the Coast Guard rescued him while he tried to reach Bermuda from Florida in a homemade hydro pod. He has also ran from Los Angeles to New York twice, and once circled the U.S. perimeter in an 11,720-mile trek.
https://www.sun-sentinel.com/news/florida/fl-ne-florida-new-york-bubble-reza-20210725-fidbqontarguph2nk527ydvpwe-story.html


Finally this week – we go to the city of Jacksonville for this one. You ever been to the zoo? And you know how they have signs up that say “don’t stick your hand in the cage!”? Well this guy went against the sign’s advice and actually stuck his hand in the cage. So here’s the thing – human hand vs wild jaguar, who do you think is going to win in this case? My money is on the jaguar!

A man who jumped over a gate of the Range of the Jaguar exhibit at Jacksonville Zoo and Gardens on Wednesday afternoon and stuck his hand into the pen was clawed by one of the big cats, employees and witnesses told News4Jax.

Jacksonville Fire-Rescue said the man, who was described as in his 20s, was taken to a hospital with non-life-threatening injuries.

One witness said the man was egging on the jaguars in the exhibit before jumping the barrier. Another said she saw employees cleaning up a trail of blood while the man was taken out with his arm bandaged.

“This is an individual that wasn’t using his head,” deputy zoo director Dan Maloney said. “He stuck his hand in through the mesh that separates the jaguars from the outside.”

Maloney said if the jaguar had been able to latch on, “it would have been a very different story.”
https://www.news4jax.com/news/local/2021/07/28/man-who-jumped-into-jaguars-exhibit-at-jacksonville-zoo-hospitalized/




That’s it this week for:





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[font size="8"]Red State Diaries
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Welcome back to our ongoing exploration of what the MAGA cult has been up to since the 2020 election in Red State Diaries! Last week we told you about the many varieties of right wing social media that you can choose from, and there are many. And all have pretty much the same racist and hateful user base you’ve come to expect from the MAGA cult. This week we’re going to take a look at all of the crazy shit that went down in South Dakota at the annual Sturgis Biker Rally. Last year, the Sturgis rally got hijacked by the MAGA crowd and became an anti-COVID movement for right wing deplorables everywhere. And this year? They’re coming back for more! And I mean come on, is anyone really *THAT* surprised that vendors at Sturgis are selling NAZI branded merchandise? There’s no mistake that the MAGA brand and the NAZI brand have a lot in common. But yeah that happened!

Different symbols and flags like swastikas and confederate flags can be found around the rally at different vendors, but one vendor claims this is more about business and giving the cyclists what they want.

“A lot of bikers, you know, its freedom thing. A lot of bikers want to be free and voice their opinion and I like to cater to what they want. It doesn’t mean that I necessarily believe in everything but, you know, I like to please everybody,” said one vendor, Jenny Alonso.


Alonso said the history behind bikers and swastikas goes back to World War II when US soldiers would bring back Nazi memorabilia they won in the war to hang on their bikes.

“So, we’re kind of honoring that not necessarily that, you know, we believe in Nazis and Hitler, but it’s just kind of a special thing that the US military was able to go and win the war and bring things back as souvenirs and they would put them on their bike,” said Alonso.
https://www.kotatv.com/2021/08/10/freedom-speech-or-fostering-hate/




But here’s the thing – when you attract the worst of us and over 700,000 of the worst of us, you’re going to see some shit. The Sturgis rally used to be the world’s largest gathering of biker enthusiasts. But recently it’s been hijacked by deplorables and especially last year. This year it’s about the same, and don’t expect next year’s to be any better or worse. But that said, I’m absolutely shocked that there would be sex trafficking at the rally. Wait, isn’t that what the Q fans accuse us of? Oh fuck it’s hard to decipher their bullshit sometimes.

Every year, the Sturgis Motorcycle Rally brings in hundreds of thousands of tourists to the Black Hills, and with the rise in tourists comes a rise in certain crimes.

During the Rally every year, multiple agencies throughout South Dakota conduct stings on sex trafficking operations. In 2021, nine men have been arrested and charged with a variety of offenses.

The mandatory minimum penalty upon conviction for Attempted Enticement of a Minor Using the Internet is 10 years up to life in federal prison; any term of years, not less than five, up to lifetime supervised release; $100 to the Federal Crime Victims Fund, and a $5,000 assessment if not indigent. Restitution may also be ordered.

The charges are merely accusations and all nine defendants are presumed innocent until and unless proven guilty.

https://www.newscenter1.tv/nine-charged-in-sturgis-rally-sex-trafficking-sting/




And then there’s the governor of South Dakota, Kristi Noem, who is a noted MAGA enthusiast, who is certainly not helping things. The other thing is that the MAGA crowd can make all of the comparisons to Lollapalooza they want. But the difference is that Lollapalooza was a success and a model for future festivals during this strange time that we live in. Whereas the MAGA crowd is reckless and stupid, and doesn’t care who they hurt along the way, as long as it makes liberals cry. Enough of that shit already!

South Dakota Gov. Kristi Noem praised the Sturgis Motorcycle Rally that attracted hundreds of thousands of people, calling it "a fantastic event" as the Delta variant spreads across the state.

"I think it's interesting that this side, this political party, the Democrats, who embrace getting abortion on demand, are accusing us of embracing death when we're just allowing people to make personal choices and have personal responsibility over when they want to assemble, when they want to gather and spend time outdoors enjoying their way of life," Noem said on Friday in an interview with Fox News' Laura Ingraham.

"So we've had a fantastic event here in South Dakota," she said. "They're having a fantastic time. We're glad everybody made the trip to South Dakota."

The 10-day rally is set to end Sunday.

Meanwhile, the highly transmissable Delta variant continues to spread across the US alongside a spike in new cases reported in South Dakota, which has been adding hundreds of new cases per week over the last month.

https://www.msn.com/en-us/news/politics/south-dakota-governor-calls-the-sturgis-rally-with-hundreds-of-thousands-of-attendees-a-fantastic-event-as-covid-19-cases-spike/ar-AANlziD




But you know what? Enough about the virus, I’m sure that everyone has had an assful of it and I know I have, believe me! But hey you know what, as long as Trump and MAGA friendly governors are at the helm guess what? It’s all about personal choices. Yeah? Well we’ll see about that three weeks from now, because as I mentioned with Lollapalooza, its’ done and we know the outcome. What’s the outcome going to be with this crowd? Anything like last year? Who knows?

South Dakota Gov. Kristi Noem (R) defended
the Sturgis Motorcycle Rally that brought hundreds of thousands of people to the state against critics who say it was irresponsible to have the event during a surge of COVID-19 cases.

“I think it’s interesting that this side, this political party, the Democrats, who embrace getting abortion on demand, are accusing us of embracing death when we’re just allowing people to make personal choices and have personal responsibility over when they want to assemble, when they want to gather and spend time outdoors enjoying their way of life,” Noem said Friday on Fox News’s “The Ingraham Angle.”

“So we’ve had a fantastic event here in South Dakota. The rally will end ... Sunday, I guess ... and they’re having a fantastic time.
We’re glad everybody made the trip to South Dakota,” she added.
(Now go home and spread the virus! )

Health officials expressed concerns about the rally becoming a superspreader event, with President Biden’s chief medical officer, Anthony Fauci, saying he was “very concerned” a surge of cases would come from the event.

"I mean, to me, it's understandable that people want to do the kinds of things they want to do. They want their freedom to do that. But there comes a time when you're dealing with a public health crisis that could involve you, your family and everyone else that something supersedes that need to do exactly what you want to do," Fauci said.


https://thehill.com/homenews/state-watch/567887-south-dakota-governor-defends-sturgis-rally-its-about-personal-choices




[font size="4"]Programming Note: [/font]

Folks, next week we’re taking a short unscheduled break so this will be our last Red State Diaries for a while because when we come back on 9/9 we’re going to switch gears for a couple of weeks with our new segment “Road To Recall” because we can’t stress enough how dire the California recall election is and how everyone must vote “NO” on the ballot! Red State Diaries will be back for our 10/9 edition! Fuck the hard right and their power grab attempt!



Thank you Las Vegas! Unfortunately our show in Long Beach got canceled next week because of a scheduling conflict. So we will be moving up our Labor Best Of a week ahead of time and then we will be dark on 9/2.

See you in two weeks!

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Reply Top 10 Conservative Idiots #11-6: Governors With Low Self Esteem Edition (Original post)
Top 10 Idiots Aug 2021 OP
marble falls Aug 2021 #1
Top 10 Idiots Aug 2021 #3
JoanofArgh Aug 2021 #2
Top 10 Idiots Aug 2021 #4

Response to Top 10 Idiots (Original post)

Thu Aug 19, 2021, 06:30 PM

1. At least it's not a tweet post. I cannot imaginge the work it takes to do this week in, week out. ..

... and I am unable to do one of these in a sitting.

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Response to marble falls (Reply #1)

Mon Aug 23, 2021, 04:29 PM

3. That's why we moved it to Thursdays.

It was getting exhausting doing these and making it by Wednesday at 2:00! Thursdays gives us a lot more breathing room.

And I can't wait to bring the first Top 10 spinoff in October!

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Response to Top 10 Idiots (Original post)

Thu Aug 19, 2021, 06:35 PM

2. Thank you! This is great!

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Response to JoanofArgh (Reply #2)

Mon Aug 23, 2021, 04:29 PM

4. Sure! We are here every week!

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