Tucker Says Low Testosterone Matters And Size Matters And Big Things Are Very Scary

[Nevilledog]

Link to tweet

https://www.wonkette.com/tucker-says-low-testosterone-matters-and-size-matters-and-big-things-are-very-scary

It's 2022, and Tucker Carlson is sailing into the year just as bonkers as ever, and his masculinity issues and his white nationalist issues are still metastasizing.

He was having one of his bad hair days last night, where the curls were kind of unnaturally pasted to his head, as if his mom had brushed his hair for school picture day (unlikely), and he opened the show saying today we are going to talk about what MATTERS.

Is everyone ready to talk about what MATTERS?

Link to tweet

Wow, Tucker sounds like a Hallmark card. Is he turning over a new leaf? Haha LOL no.

Watching the video above, we learn that the first thing that MATTERS is homeless people. But he doesn't really dwell on that. (This is the beginning of his opening monologue, by the way.)

Thirty seconds into his show, Tucker says, "speaking of chemicals, men in America seem very different from what they used to be." Wait, WHAT?

TUCKER: Anyone over 40 knows this, the changes are dramatic, you can't help but notice. Could those changes have something to do with the unprecedented drop in testosterone levels that scientists have measured repeatedly?

It's 2022, and 30 seconds into Tucker's show, he's dribbling in his pants about low testosterone. So basically his 2022 is going to be like his 2021.

*snip*

[underpants]

1. I knew it was Wonkette

Thanks. Lunchtime reading.

[Bongo Prophet]

2. To be fair re Tucker's hair - He had gym class right before his show

...which, come to think of it, might also explain his worries about Masculinity and Size.

[Carlitos Brigante]

3. Eventually someone's gonna call this tub of mayonnaise's "alpha male" bluff. To think

that Little Lord Fuck Leroy fancies himself some sort of "tough guy" is beyond laughable.

[allegorical oracle]

8. Oh yeah...have been comparing **cker Tarlson to Little Lord Fauntleroy for years...

Definitely has some issues.

[Carlitos Brigante]

11. Don't get it twisted though. I saw a photo of him somewhere wearing

flannel in the prop wood shop he had built at his mansion. So, you know, now he's like "Rocky" out there training in the wilderness........

[brewens]

4. At 61, diet and exercise pumped my testosterone level way up. I'm as hairy now as in my 20's

along with other effects you might expect. It's one of the reasons I avoid being in public now. I'm a big powerful guy and want to avoid confrontations. I know myself and am likely to be pretty aggressive in certain situations. That used to be kind of fun, but I know better now. It also only gives you more of a chance to be infected.

[underpants]

5. So more masculinity and testosterone is good but more babies is bad

Tucker HAS to have had “the talk” by now.


Children run from big things!

[Mickju]

6. Tucker never struck me as someone with a lot of testosterone.

I love Evan Hurst. He is my favorite at Wonkette.

[Dirty Socialist]

7. TRANSLATED:

Tucker has a micropenis.
Some of these posts just write themselves.

[Walleye]

9. He makes a living sitting on his ass all day and lecturing us in his little girl voice which tremble

With fear. Yeah he thinks he’s the most masculine with men. He’s nothing more than an overpaid male Karen. Maybe he can take hormones

[CentralMass]

10. Well Tucker is an enormous dick.

[llashram]

12. very early

trump induced dementia?

[Jilly_in_VA]

13. He would know /s

[Mad_Machine76]

14. The studies he cites say that it has something to do with environmental factors

but instead of talking about, you know, cleaning up the environment (which is just a good thing to do in general), he complains about Trans people, gender studies, feminists, et. al for somehow robbing men of their Testosterone.

[llashram]

15. very early

trump induced dementia?

[11 Bravo]

16. Tucker "I finished eleventh in a ten-man beard-growing contest" Carlson ...

is exactly the guy I want to hear from regarding testosterone issues.

[NickB79]

17. Testosterone HAS been dropping for decades, and scientists are concerned

It's been linked to falling sperm counts globally, which could be problematic going forward.

However, the most reasonable explanation for this is chronic exposure to environmental toxins, namely endocrine disruptors emitted by chemical pollution.

If Tucker really cared about this issue, he'd be screaming for more EPA funding and crackdowns on industrial pollution. But that's anti-capitalist and anti-freedom in his world.