Ok. I just lost my wife, if you are a true liberal, read this

[kozar]

I am old, I believed in humanity all my life. Even before there was Internet and we copy and we paste and we feel good about ourselves. I met a woman 19 years ago, who had a handicapped daughter. I fell in love with her, and her daughter, and I adopted her daughter. We lost mom a month ago.
I will no longer put an R or a D Behind my name, I will put an H because I am a human being and 90% of this world are the same.
I live in Florida in the middle of Trump country, or so they think. They have helped Tess and I for the last month more than I can thank them. It’s kind of my point, and that’s what I want you all to believe.
Don’t get caught up with the letter behind your name, and it’s so easy to copy paste, and post Memes, life is not that easy.
You live your life with what you believe and you do it every day in physical life. Put an H behind your name, because we all care about human beings, animals, organisms, We all care about just life. There’s only 10% of this world trying to convince us otherwise.

Koz and LilBit

[MineralMan]

1. I'm so sorry to read that.

[Karadeniz]

2. I'm glad your experience has been positive. How is LilBit doing?

[kozar]

5. LilBit good

She feels love, she doesn’t read posts anywhere. It’s how we should all be


KozandLilBit

[Karadeniz]

9. You two take care of yourselves !!!!!

[irisblue]

3. Dear Koz and LilBit, I am THRILLED to read your neighbors are doing right by you 2.

I wish that it was possible for more of us to be humans first and be good to each other.

[KT2000]

4. Condolences

So sorry for your loss. You make a good point of where our starting point should be as humans.

[kozar]

8. Yeah,

It hurts, but Mrs K taught us well.

[Hugh_Lebowski]

6. Oh, damn Koz. So sorry to hear this brother ...

I know how close you were and how important she was to you.

So, so sorry for your (and Tess') loss mate. Gotta be so rough ...

I'm sure you're being amazingly strong for her, and honoring your wife at every turn.

We're here for you.

[kozar]

11. Thanks

I’m back out singing and playing. I’m starting to feel the joy in music again

[barbtries]

7. I'm glad they came through when you needed them

and left the politics out of it.

I hope you and LilBit are doing well.

[mahina]

10. I'm so glad you have and had support.

Most people are decent.

Considering the circumstances I won’t argue.

[tavernier]

12. I live in Florida too

and have very kind friends who don’t all vote the same way. When my husband died they all came together for me.
Take care of yourself. Grief takes a great deal of energy. Eat well, exercise, and don’t be afraid to laugh.

[spanone]

13. K&R

[TheBlackAdder]

14. I'm so sorry to hear that.

[CommonHumanity]

15. Thank you good human

I love you! You just spoke my heart.

[delisen]

16. You are absolutely right. Thank you for posting this.

I have experienced the same thing you have.

I am sorry for the pain you both must be experiencing over the loss of your wife and mother. I am glad for the love and help you have received from people who may consider themselves Republicans.

Hope you will post some more about your insights because they are valuable.

[kozar]

26. I was raised in a different era

And learned what I believe

Thank you,, we will spread our belief

[LAS14]

17. Thank you!!!

We have got to be constantly on the lookout for ways to pierce this divide.

[niyad]

18. KNR

[FM123]

19. Sending much love up to you (and LilBit) my fellow Floridian.

[Claire Oh Nette]

20. So sorry for your loss Kozar.

And so glad you found love, and loved her lil Bit enough to make her your Lil Bit.

Thank you, too for this reminder that we are in the end a single Race: Human.

(((hugs)))

[malaise]

21. Deepest sympathy

[Hortensis]

22. But Kozar, that IS what the D by my name stands for. I'm a lifelong liberal,

and allying with other liberals to defend our principles and achieve our goals is how I try to maximize the power of my lone vote.

Do as is right for you, but always remember that this year either Democratic or Republican majorities will rule, and only liberals defend the rights of all humans.

I'm sorry for your loss but glad that you two had someone so loved in your lives. Stay well.

[SergeStorms]

25. Well said, Hortensis.

Since there isn't a single different word I'd like to extend to Kozar, mind if I sign on to your excellent post?

There's a world of difference between that (D) and (R), especially now.

I understand Kozar's pain, and you expressed your heartfelt sentiment so well, so I'll just say, "me too".

[kozar]

30. Ty

And as you have “always” done and believed, so have I,Friend. I’m just suggesting in a way. Maybe, it’s a chance to believe I what we always believed in, and change the narrative of the short attn span of the new online world.

[Hortensis]

36. Good effort and best wishes for success with it.

I believe that while we're doing that we have a huge duty to humanity to weigh in on the enormously important choice we have to make every two years: Either/or.

Either Democratic or Republican majorities will dominant the most influential nation on the planet. And the difference is enormous.

[dlk]

23. I"m very sorry for your loss

Your wife and daughter were truly fortunate to have someone like you, with a loving heart, in their lives. I wish you peace during this difficult time.

[nolabear]

24. I'm so sorry. And I so appreciate your post.

I have been treated well by those whose statements appall me and poorly by those who look great to me on paper. I agree with a psychoanalyst of old, Harry Stack Sullivan, who said “We are all simply more human than otherwise.”

Having grown up among people who’d be excoriated on DU I know how many are complex, multifaceted individuals who are no more a simple stereotype than we liberals are. It’s hard work to oppose without hatred. I aspire to it. Thank you for taking a hard, but ultimately the only viable, road.

nolabear H

[AllyCat]

27. I'm so sorry.

[Boomerproud]

28. Beautiful post. Uplifting when we need it most. My best to you

and your daughter.

[Stuart G]

29. So sorry for your loss

[Nululu]

31. So sorry for your tremendous loss

[ProfessorGAC]

32. Our Condolences (nt)

[Snackshack]

33. Sorry...

For your loss…🕯😕

I agree wholeheartedly with your point. The reality is that it is a small group of people who have grabbed ahold of the mic and are trying to imposed their beliefs on the rest of us in order to save their a@@ from accountability.

It has been like that for a while now and mostly it has come from the GOP. Look at just the last 20+yrs. 9/11, 2 wars, torture, economic collapse, pandemic that has now killed almost 1 million Americans and a coup attempt.

Enough already.

[appalachiablue]

34. Beautiful post, sorry for your loss. Stay well in belle Florida.

[kozar]

35. I'm crying here! Not by the amount

responses. But just because, somewhere on this democratic underground website, I posted some thing I was afraid to post, because I had to congratulate some Republicans who are helping us along our journey. And I was afraid to post this on this site. But now I’m emboldened, we are right on this site, we need to get through online crap, and go out in the world and do us, just like Ukraine is doing right now. It comes down to it, you just Gotta believe and do.

Thanks

[redwitch]

38. I am glad you have decent neighbors to lighten up the dark.

I am so sorry for your loss. The price we pay for loving so deeply is grief. Glad that you have your daughter and your music to console you.
Much love to you both!

[canetoad]

37. Good post koz

Understand exactly what you're saying. Hugs to both yourself and LilBit.

[Lonestarblue]

39. My heart goes out to you. So sad to lose your love.

Take care of yourself and Tess.

[grantcart]

40. Best wishes to both of you

I am in a similar frame of mind.

My work takes me to poor rural homes and trailers, many sporting Trump signs and appear typical caricatures of the MAGA hordes.we are familiar with.

I have learned to put that aside and listen to them and explain carefully what benefits I am selling. This week a woman burst into tears. "Dear what makes you so upset?".

"No one has ever tried to explain things to me like you do, everyone telling me I have to do this or do that" she said between sobs. I thought if only we Democrats went into the rural areas and listened to people and explained without being patronizing most people would be persuaded.

This last week the elderly couple that was the nicest, best educated and most disciplined about wearing a mask were, of all things, an elderly Jehovah's Witnesses couple, folks that I would in the past quickly embarrass with my higher knowledge of Scripture.

This time I listened and saw a compassionate couple that were committed to doing the right thing during the pandemic.

There is so much pain ok there and an ocean of ignorance but trying to listen more has made me a better H.

Best wishes to both of you.

[Evolve Dammit]

41. I love your sentiment and am so sorry for your loss. Take good care of each other.

[turbinetree]

42. This is sad.......

[kozar]

43. Sorry to pull your post , but how sad are ya

Sad enough that someone lost a loved one(we all should here). Or sad for humanity because we can comfort ourselves with a few types words? Sorry Turbin, I’m not calling you out. I just don’t have time to answer all, so I ask from you and all others, thank you, For condolences on my wife.
What LilZBit and I are asking for right now is for all the you on DU supposed to believe, and what we are, outside of just a text
message please, live your life and fight for humanity.

[40RatRod]

44. I had never ready your posts before today and...

I am so sorry for your loss. I went back and read your entire journal and could feel the love of your family. I know you will take good care of LilBit. My nose is running and my eyes are wet. Carl

[Joinfortmill]

45. So sorry for your loss.

[electric_blue68]

46. So sorry that you lost her

[BeckyDem]

47. Absolutely beautiful.

All my very best wishes to you and your daughter.

H

[Meowmee]

48. I am so sorry for the loss of your wife, that is tragic

It’s great to hear that your neighbors helped you regardless of their politics.

I also lost my beloved father, it was a murder on many levels brought about by those very neighbors of yours and mine etc. who decided to vote for a fascist monster. That should never be forgiven nor forgotten. And many would gladly vote for him again. There needs to be accountability.

So I will continue to stand against fascism and always vote D, as I have always done since I became a citizen here, as long as I am living here.

[IbogaProject]

49. D matters here

Being D or willing to not disparage our party is only a requirement here. Also in the voting booth and in one on one interactions where you have any chance to make a positive difference. Best wishes I've been sad for this misfortune since you first posted.

[Solly Mack]

50. I'm so sorry for your loss.

[onethatcares]

51. from one "H" to another

if you're in the St Pete area I would like to meet up with you.

[Maraya1969]

52. I am really sorry for your loss Kozar. And I'm glad people have been friendly and helpful to you

during this hard time.

I've found that it is very difficult to tell a R from a D unless the conversation goes into helping the poor and sick or immigrants or something about minorities. Maybe some other issues will shed light also but I can't think of them right now. I do however believe that in order to be happy I cannot hold onto hatred against anyone. So that is why I have spent a lot of time forgiving people and wishing them well. It makes me feel better.

[CaptainTruth]

53. Thank you for that post. You've given me food for thought.

First, is there a way we can help you? Do you have a GoFundMe or some other way we could contribute?

Second, I know exactly what you mean about having an H behind your name, we ALL should have one. In my case it would be an H & D because I have seen first-hand how so many people with an R have apparently lost their H, they have lost their humanity. They wish me ill & would be perfectly happy if I died, some have even said they want me dead. To me, that's not humanity.

Third, I'm truly glad you're getting help & support. Again, if there's any way we can help please let us know, perhaps a separate OP on that topic.

You've never met me but I've been thinking of you more than you know...

[cilla4progress]

54. Holding you in my heart, koz.

I get it. I live in a similar situation. I posted recently here about it, and it seems like most others have more opportunities? to only interact with people who share their politics /social values.

That's ok. I think there is space here for both paths.

[summer_in_TX]

55. Thank you for that important reminder, Koz!

We have more in common in our humanity than we have that divides us, in spite of the appearances of the shouting across the partisan divide.

When my town's water supply was threatened from a commercial company wanting to harvest and sell large quantities to towns, we showed amazing unity across that divide. When we had a flood, then too we came together. There's much goodness, even among those fooled by the propaganda.

~summer_in_TX – H

[UpInArms]

56. I am so sorry that you lost your wife

(((((Hugs)))))

a so glad that those near you are supporting you and LilBit …

labels never tell the story … hold everyone near and dear … it is only together that we survive

[LizBeth]

57. Because of your own personal experience in support you have received you ignore ALL the lives

that suffer because of the cruelty of the Republican party. As a woman, no. I will not simply say it is humanity because that is not a realty for so many of us.

[kozar]

58. Point taken

[Keket]

64. Exactly

I'm sorry for his loss and wish him the best however, Republicans are white supremacist fascists and white supremacist fascists are bad. I'm sure some Nazi's were nice to their neighbors at some point, that doesn't negate the fact that they were Nazis. Don't let these Rethugs fool you, remember what they are and the harm they inflict on millions of people.

Keket,
~You can be good person or you can be a Republican. You can't be both.

[kozar]

59. Thanks all for a great conversation

I appreciate the honesty and passion in this thread.
If I could hug each of you I would. I’m not always correct in my thoughts, and as much as I need my heart needs to be heard now, is exactly the same as I need to hear those who have a different take on it.
Thanks all for your thoughts and sharing.


Koz and LilBit

[LizBeth]

60. When it comes to humanity, there is no D or R. Love can be freely given.

Politics is a whole other animal with law and power. I am glad you have had overwhelming support. It is not a little thing and can mean the world, especially when needed and appreciated and valued.

[XacerbatedDem]

63. I am so sorry for your loss.

I have kinda the same idea, but a different letter behind my name - an "E", for EARTHLING. So many times wars start due to people from different countries fighting amongst themselves over lines drawn between their countries. Don't they know, no matter which country they're from, it is all the same planet to which we belong.

We are all Earthlings, even all the other animals that populate this planet. We can use different categories to further describe ourselves, but that one, to me, describes all life on this planet and ultimately shows how we are all connected, together, as one.

Someday I hope those other letters won't be needed.

[shrike3]

61. I do not believe in humanity.

But I'm glad you do.

And I'm glad your neighbors have helped you.

[JI7]

62. While I agree that we should look at people individually it's different when it comes to party

politics and voting. It's one thing to be decent to people you come across personally. But when you go to vote it's important to remember how you vote makes a difference and even though someone might be nice to you they could still vote in ways that will harm you or others .

[tiredtoo]

65. Interesting idea

I have used Human on forms asking for race for sometime now. While I agree with your sentiments I will continue defining my self as a pinko commie tree hugging liberal and proud of it.

[nini]

66. I am truly sorry for your loss

But until those folks you know extend their caring for people they do not know personally and continue to support a party that supports fascism we cannot look the other way.

If it was a difference of opinion on tax code then ok, but they are supporting a group of people who would not think twice about ignoring the needs of your disabled daughter and any person in need at a minimum.

I understand how you feel but unfortunately it is way more the 10% of our population and there's not compromising with those who support the monsters wanting to destroy our democracy.

[Jetheels]

67. My condolences to you.

I know many people who I cannot understand why the vote R.
Or are anti maskers or whatever.
But on a personal level they are kind to me.
And I avoid any political topics with them.
I know D’s who have political beliefs that are very aligned with my own, and sometimes I find they can be awful to me.
So I don’t judge anymore.
This is something I have learned during the pandemic.