I got very upset and distressed this morning at a FB thread

[vlyons]

I should know better, really I should. But I found it extremely distressing at the stupidity and hatefulness of what people were posting. Theb original post was a picture of a guy showqing a boy how to chop wood with the comment that we should teach boys to grow up to be men and not women. Stupid and insulting on many levels. But it triggered all this bile from people about sex ed, and grooming children for pedophiles and teaching Marxism. I was even called a Marxist. What upset me was the ignorance, bigotry, homophobia, and vitriol of some people.

I don't think it's possible to have a calm, adult exchange of ideas with these RWNJs. Appeals to reason, facts, evidence is useless.

Ya know who the real "groomer" is? It's Fox News and the RW hate meddia. Fox News grooms people 24 x 7 to hate and dismiss anyone and everyone, who doesn't mirror its lies and innuendos.

I need to calm down. Rinse my mind and emotions clean with some Mozart or something.

[Rebl2]

1. I think

you have that right. Fox are the groomers of lies and hate.

[llmart]

4. Rush Limbaugh was the original "groomer".

He filled AM radio with his constant hatred and vitriol. He was probably a real groomer also.

[Rebl2]

18. You are

right about that. To think he got his start in radio in KCMO (he was a DJ at a FM station at one time) makes me sick. I remember years later hearing that those that worked around him could not stand him. He even worked for the KC Royals in sales at one time and became good friends (until his death) with George Brett-can’t stand him either. Then he got another radio show here in KC where he honed his skills in conservative lies and hate.

[wnylib]

35. Looks likely that he was a pedophile.

He was found with illegal Viagra (no prescription for it) on a trip to the Dominican Republic, known for its child prostitutes.

I seriously doubt that he was there to do investigative journalism on child trafficking.

[sdfernando]

52. And overuse and high doses

of Viagra can, in some people, cause hearing loss.

[Midnight Writer]

43. I think of Limbaugh as the "Gateway Crank".

He introduced people to the crazy, got them hooked, and then they went on to stronger lunacy when their tolerance levels went up.

[Kid Berwyn]

82. Rush once was Jeff Christie

I kid you not.

http://user.pa.net/~ejjeff/christie.html

[llmart]

83. I did not know that.

Can't believe he was ever "bubbly".

Did he change his name because he was running from something? I wouldn't be surprised.

[Wounded Bear]

2. Yep, "grooming" is the ultimate projection...

they use to convince people that they are not the ones being groomed.

[wryter2000]

3. Or

Beethoven’s sixth symphony.

[onecaliberal]

5. Every accusation is a confession.

[secondwind]

6. I've been listening to Mozart today also. ☺️

[Kingofalldems]

7. I now just post the pic of Madison Cawthorne

They have no response for that,

[mopinko]

8. yeah, listening to steve earle this morning for similar reasons.

tried to have a convo w a dear friend, and could only assume at the end that one of the voices in his head sounds just like me.

always my go to, cuz he has a song about everything.

[dchill]

9. 'Ya know who the real "groomer" is?'

Let's ask Ivanka.

[Cracklin Charlie]

10. I have no problem with men teaching kids to chop wood.

But, couldn’t this whole goofy thing be turned back on them?

Did Tucker teach his son to chop wood? No, he probably, at most, taught his son how to go on teevee and spread hate through the nation. If he spent any time with his kids at all. Where is Mrs. Tucker in all this?

Maybe, these dads aren’t spending enough time with their sons?

[vlyons]

13. shouldn't girls know how to chop wood too?

never mind - it's a rhetorical question. Gee I wonder how many pioneer women in the 17th - 19th centuries chopped wood every day? My great grandmother didn't chop wood, because her family in Kentucky had slaves to do it.

[Bayard]

29. Well, yeah!

This Kentucky woman chops wood, as long as the bad elbow and shoulder will allow it. My Dad taught me.

[Cracklin Charlie]

70. I am a girl.

My dad taught me to chop wood. And lots of other things that were not “girly”. I liked being outside, and so did my daddy.

But, he didn’t force me to chop wood, or force my sister to learn how to chop wood, or fish. I think some of this “teach your boys to be manly” crap is stupid. These people that think they can force others to fit into a mold, that they themselves created, are wasting their time. If they spent any time watching a child grow into adulthood, they would know this. So, I think the reason they don’t understand that “forced manliness” will never work, is because they don’t know their own children. And they don’t know their children because they probably haven’t spent any time with them.

Teach your kids how to be good human beings, and let the kids decide what they want to be interested in. If they ask you to teach them something…teach them.

[smirkymonkey]

61. But this whole idea of "teaching them to be men and do manly things and NOT be like women"

as if somehow being female is the most horrible, disgusting thing on the face of the earth (which is how most of these men think) teaches these boys nothing but misogyny and to hate the natural "feminine" qualities that we all possess.

I see this even in my own family w/ my republican BIL and my sensitive nephew who tends to be introverted and loves things like legos, video games and more solitary activities.

My BIL wants him to be a huge jock and get out there and be a tough guy, but the kid is just not wired that way and my heart breaks for him as I see how rejected he feels for being who he is and how hard he tries to please his father, even though he doesn't really like playing football or baseball and isn't really cut out to be a jock.

He is not the slightest bit effeminate, he is just quiet, sensitve and introverted. I can't stand men who do this to their sons because of their own pathetically weak egos.

[Cracklin Charlie]

73. If they don't understand that you can't force children to behave a certain way...

Then they’ve never watched a child grow to adulthood. And, if they actually had children they didn’t watch grow up, then they are an inattentive parent.

Be there for your nephew. He will have plenty of people in his life that love him, and his weak father will have one less (your nephew), if the dad doesn’t start paying attention.

[gldstwmn]

75. FB is a sewer. I rarely go on there anymore as you are absolutely right.

There are so many blatantly false profiles who aren't even bothering to hide what they're up to. The most sickening recent example was someone I know has been diagnosed with metastatic cancer after a long struggle the past couple of years. This girl's cancer started out in her jaw. Imagine how painful that is. Anyway her bestie has been documenting her progress and keeping everyone updated as we are all rooting for her. When she got the news that it had metastasized she shared the news and we were all devastated. She went out of her way to talk about how wonderful her medical team has been and that they had decided she might be able to do a clinical trial going forward. We all wished her well and offered to help in any way we could and along comes this one idiot. I have to say idiot because I truly can think of no other description. Her post said that she had access to Ivermectin, would she like her to get her some, it will shrink the tumors and hold on to your hat, THE DOCTORS AND NURSES DON'T WANT YOU TO KNOW ABOUT IT. This stupid b*tch who had been so poisoned by RW trolls and bots (or maybe she was one) that she told a potentially terminal cancer patient that the people who had so lovingly cared for her the last several years and were trying to find a way to extend her life now actually knew the cure but didn't want her to know about it! WTF? It took everything I had not to rip her to absolute shreds. That post sat there like a rotten egg and no one replied to it. Thank goodness. I'm hoping the girl with cancer didn't see it.

[barbtries]

12. sorry you went through that.

it is definitely worthless to try and appeal to their humanity, critical thinking skills (gone. abandoned to fox), logic, reason, any of it.

[Walleye]

14. Starting to think that most of the problems in this country and the world

Stem from men’s insecurity about their sexuality. Jesus Christ guys, get it together you are not all that. My sister-in-law lives in Alaska on the home stead of her late father. She chops wood all winter because her husband died. They never stop to think about these things that happen. Women don’t always have men around to chop their wood for them. I used to say teach your sons to iron shirts. Of course with fabric softener we don’t iron that much anymore.

[Walleye]

20. True. But apparently the right wing needs no excuse for violence. They do it for fun

[Walleye]

22. And they wouldn't last five minutes in a real army

[Walleye]

24. DU is the only online discussion board I participate in

I stopped using Facebook years ago, was never that into it and now even Instagram has gotten too crazy for me. I think there is a national addiction to these things

[Walleye]

34. It is an island of sanity in a bat shit crazy world

[Walleye]

46. 👍I discovered this site after the 2016 election, but didn't join until Joe Biden entered the primari

I just had to speak up for my old friend who was being trashed here sometimes. Most Everybody in Delaware thinks of Joe Biden as a friend. But I observed him for a long time as a newspaper photographer and I knew a lot of things they were saying about him were wrong.i do thank the admins

[paleotn]

39. Bingo. Weak minds and gender role stupidity....

In and just out of college, I got poked at with the usual "you'll make someone a good housewife someday" since I could cook and was a bit of a clean freak. Never mind that many chefs are men, mom taught me to cook because I like to eat. Taco Bell and KFC every other day ain't gonna cut it. The Navy taught me the importance of proper cleaning and stowage and it stuck. I can't stand to live in a pig sty to this day. "Pig sty" being a relative term. How many times in the last 30 years have me and my better half gotten into it over the proper storage of extension cords. Aaaaak, don't wad the damn thing up! That's one of my many pet peeves she's learned to live with.

[Walleye]

53. Navy man. I'd love to see more boys in the Navy if it weren't for the war and shit

[paleotn]

74. The Navy was a compromise...

Dad didn't want us entering the service. He figured he'd done his part in WWII and didn't want us to see the same things he saw. The Navy was the "safer" of the services in his mind.

[smirkymonkey]

64. +1000

Exactly. Its definitely a society problem, worse in some societies than others. And this whole business about "toughening up" young boys as they are growing is such bullshit, instead of just letting them be who they are. It's really sad.

[Walleye]

69. I guess there is such a thing as toxic femininity but I've never heard it referred to

[smirkymonkey]

71. I suppose that would be conforming to extreme female sterotypes and expecting that of your

daughters.

Things such as always be very thin, lady-like, cross your legs, don't raise your voice, don't show your intelligence, don't be assertive or excel too much at anything, never challenge a man, never step outside the boundaries of what toxic masculinity determines that you be to always be sexually appealing to them.

Looking for men who are only rich, tall and handsome. Wanting a man to take care of you completely, etc. I am sure there are other things, but that is what I could come up with off the top of my head.

[Walleye]

72. In other words all of our upbringing as girls in the 50s

It didn’t take on me though. I gotta tell you it made me miserable constantly being prodded that way. And as far as toxic femininity, Phyllis Schafley comes to mind. But even she was an assertive aggressive person

[smirkymonkey]

93. Yes, now that I think of it, there is something very "alpha" and aggressive about toxic femininity

as well. Even though traditionally "feminine" traits are favored, it is primarily manipulative. I think the whole "toxic" thing in general is about domination, control and masking insecurity.

Those of us who would rather just be who we are have a very hard time with either sex who is wired that way.

[llmart]

67. +1000

I taught my son to iron shirts. To this day, he does iron his dress shirts if he needs to go somewhere where that sort of dress is required. Also, I've not only chopped my share of wood, I've carried it and stacked it on the deck and built the fires in the wood stove and fireplace. This past couple of weeks I've been hatchet chipping out some roots from a tree that was removed from my yard. I'm a 73 year old female.

[Walleye]

68. 73-year-old female here myself. I always like outdoor activities better than indoors.I hate shopping

And good on you for teaching your son to iron. It’s empowering

[llmart]

81. A kindred spirit...

I abhor shopping, but then again I'm a rabid environmentalist and have been since the first Earth Day and probably before. I grew up out in the country in an era where we could roam all day long, and my mother was more than happy to "urge" us to get outside, probably because there were seven of us and she wanted some peace.

[Skittles]

86. LOL, you're just now starting to figure that out?

still, I had high hopes that viagra would help decrease the need for war but THAT never happened

[Walleye]

87. I don't think we will be completely safe until men or actually capable of giving birth

[Skittles]

88. that is a big thing

I think deep down, men know that NOTHING they do is as impressive as growing a human - NOTHING - and that truly bugs so many of them. Yup.

[Walleye]

89. So true. That I did figure out sometime ago

[Maraya1969]

15. I make the point now that the pedophiles are in the republican party and Qanon

They always hang out where they think they will not be noticed. That is why so many are in the church preaching.

Besides it puts them on the defensive and they forget what they were arguing about in the first place.

[MontanaMama]

16. Your OP reminds me of when my son was little...

He LOVED the Little Mermaid. He asked for the Little Mermaid Barbie doll when he was 3 or 4. I bought it for him and he played with her all the time. His dad was alarmed and said he didn’t know if Ariel was an appropriate toy for a little boy. I remember being so pissed…we had a heated discussion about gender and toys. Toys don’t turn kids gay for Pete’s sake. He let it go finally when he saw Owen and his friends incorporate Ariel into their play…bikes, sharks, dump trucks. Let’s just say it was that moment when I started to groom my husband into not being homophobic.

[speak easy]

17. Maxist? BS.

I see you as a Ruski Communist FSB Pinko bent on getting Agent TFG re-'elected'

[JohnnyRingo]

25. I would respond that it's insulting to his gay friends and family

I'm sure he or she would come back with "I don't have any gay friends or family."
"Wanna bet?"

hahaha

[llashram]

26. le are really, reallyopto hell with FB

and twit. Did FB once. Never again. People were really hateful then. This was before trump. Now it must be a grievous place. I know anonymity brings out the worse in people and the socio and psychopaths must be in heaven. Racism must pervade that trash dump of human thought. At 74 I am sick at the odious and very detestable discourse and loss of civility among Americans since trump arrived on the scene as a 'leader' of the enslaved(by hate thought) world. The worse thing outside apocalypse that could have happened I think.

[KPN]

28. You are so right. We are going through a very dark period in our nation's and seemingly mankind's

history. It's seems unavoidable -- to me, almost obviously so. We see it happening in broad daylight, but seem completely and consistently unable to avoid or derail it. It's like a tunnel we must go through in order to get to the other side. Very depressing.

I take some solace in knowing -- as a result of having lived 3 years in a 3rd world nation in the late 70s -- that people can enjoy life and live happy day-to-day lives despite extreme poverty and a totally corrupt government. But they largely do what you said you need to do -- they remain calm, rinse their mind and emotions clean of the "corruption" by largely ignoring it, living their lives and enjoying each other, laughing a lot, singing and dancing a lot -- just being together. I also believe that as a species, we progress ultimately. That gives me some optimism about our current situation. We'll get through this dark period, if we actually survive it as a species. In the meantime, like you, I need to rinse my mind almost daily by doing things that take my mind to a more happy place.

[lees1975]

30. All of that conspiracy theory crap is in someone's imagination, but this stuff is very real...

https://signalpress.blogspot.com/2022/04/the-value-of-integrity.html

[NewHendoLib]

31. When I left FB and Twitter 2 years ago, my quality of life improved hugely

[Sogo]

32. "Fox News grooms people 24x7 to hate and dismiss anyone and everyone, who doesn't mirror its lies."

Should become its own meme....

[nevergiveup]

33. You should have responded with a photo of Denny Hastert.

[LuckyCharms]

36. One of the reasons I left FB 5 or 6 years ago and never looked back.

DU is one of the few places on the internet (that I know of) where a disagreement can be rationally discussed, usually.

Elsewhere on the internet? Usually not so much.

On FB, as soon as my cousins started posting videos of Jeanne Pirro, praising her, talking about the days when men were men, telling me to "grow up" when I expressed my views, attacking the Muslim faith by using words that I can't type here, calling me a fucking snowflake and then giving me huge friendly bear hugs when we saw each other in public...I noped right the fuck out of FB forever.

Couple that with the fact that if your life happens to be shitty at the moment while viewing everyone else's highlight reels, well, stuff like that actually can trigger a serious depressive episode.

And then you have people who constantly post selfies at slightly different angles.

And people saying they will pray for you while posting praying hand emojis when you're pretty sure that they've never said a prayer in their entire life, and they never give you a second thought in real life, but rather, they just collect FB friends.

I understand why people use FB, and I understand how it can be useful, but it's not for me.

[Joinfortmill]

42. I hear you. I deleted my FB acct..

Had 2600 so called friends, mostly political stuff. I opened a new account with a pseudonym. Use it for informational purposes, mostly for a couple of medical conditions I have.

[deurbano]

62. Those highlight reels can be pretty deceptive. My right-wing sister presents a very filtered,

"happy families" image to the online world, but in real life, they are more like a Jerry Springer family. And the images are also literally filtered, so that when I see a random photo (now and again) of them taken by a non-family member, they are almost unrecognizable.

[multigraincracker]

37. Show em this. Roses, my favorite needle point star.

?fit=1600%2C900&ssl=1

[NBachers]

56. I love this!

[multigraincracker]

65. One of the reasons I really like this 6'6" guy with tattoos

running for the Senate.



OK tucker, call him a snowflake to his face.

[twodogsbarking]

66. He is 6' 9" . I like him too.

[BumRushDaShow]

92. I still love this ad when he was running for Lt. Gov

[Sherman A1]

38. There is a very easy to use hide post function on FB

I use it regularly to hide any and all Meme postings and other useless stuff.

[Joinfortmill]

41. You are right about FoxNews. Pure evil.

[lonely bird]

44. Well, I am confused

“Real” men chop wood?

What the fuck does that even mean?

I would like to think I am a real man because I exist and am real. No, all kidding aside, I am a real man because I care about my family, friends and other people. Apparently these “real” men missed the second great commandment which, according to whatever translation, IS LIKE THE FIRST (which I take to mean is the same as the first) “Love your neighbor as yourself”.

Being a man is not about macho or machismo or any other bullshit like that, period.

[Evolve Dammit]

45. Sorry for the angst. You are correct in your assessments.

[Beartracks]

47. Grooming accusations from Republicans? The accusations are confessions. n/t

[vlyons]

48. Thanks everyone for your comments

I'm a lot calmer now. Must say that my usual FB experience is fairly bland. Mostly funny cats and dogs, beautiful birds, ironic cartoons, lots of grandkids, iris popping up in the garden -- stuff like that. Ya know just the observations of nice normal people. Assholes who appear on my FB feed get blocked, never to be seen again.

I'm 75, college educated, interested in the fine arts, and a long time Buddhist So I guess I'm one of those pointy headed liberals that the RWNJs so detest. I have to remember when hateful people say stupid things to me to consider the source and not react with anger. Anger is poison.

[Warpy]

49. Facenook sucks. The business plan is predatory

and they have use an algorithm designed to give the loudest voice to the worst people. Be smart and break the addiction. Ditch it.

I heated with wood in New England. I've chainsawed and chopped my way through many cords of tree length wood. For the record, I'm a woman. Most of my friends did the same. Men also did this, it was just what you did in winter if you wanted to be warm. Nobody could afford luxuries like heating oil after the early 70s, not if they were broke ass hippies in semi rural areas.

Like other right wing memes, this one is beyond silly, designed by and for suburbanites in warm climates who might dirty up the fireplace on Xmas, but that's it for their wood use.

When it comes right down to it, their pattern for the manly man is the swaggering bully, and he's got as little to do with hard work as possible, not if he can pus it off on women.

I think we can dispense with him.

[Celerity]

78. Yep.

[twodogsbarking]

51. Facebook.

[Cozmo]

55. Case closed

[FakeNoose]

54. This is why I'm not on Facebook any more

BUT if that were me this morning after seeing all that trash, I would have blocked every single one of those evil posters. That's what I used to do - BLOCK THEM ALL. As many nasty RWNJ posters as I blocked, others still showed up on my Facebook page every day. Many times it's not the original post, it's the mean comments that come after it.

My standard message was (just before I blocked the last one): "I hope you evil people all block ME, because I've just blocked every one of YOU." I had to post that before I blocked the last one because once they're blocked, I couldn't see or respond on their comments.

It just got so laborious and defeating that I quit Facebook altogether. It finally happened 2 days after January 6th, 2021.

[Mr.Bill]

57. Those people have always been there.

Facebook has just given them a world-wide forum to spread their shit. No decent person reads that and turns evil. The people who already feel that just get it articulated for them and agree with what they have always thought.

[hadEnuf]

58. There is no conversation with RWNJ's.

They are brainwashed daily to spew vile, hateful insanity.
They barely know what it means, if at all, but mostly they do not care. They are having fun and think they are part of something. Without RW media and Tru

[yardwork]

59. I'm sorry that happened to you.

I've seen it too and it's very distressing.

I think that social media amplifies extremism. People post things that they wouldn't say (or possibly even think) in a face to face conversation.

You could leave Facebook. You could unfriend anybody who posts hateful things. You could unfollow certain posters so you don't see their posts.

Social media should be fun, not distressing. Life is too short to be upset by hateful ignorance on the internet.

[hadEnuf]

60. There is no conversation with RWNJ's.

They are brainwashed daily to spew vile, hateful insanity.
They barely know what it means, if at all, but mostly they do not care. They are having fun and think they are part of something big. Without RW media and Trump normal people wouldn't give them the time of day.

All they deserve is constant derision and to be politically crushed. And let's hope it stops at that.

[AllaN01Bear]

63. there have been far right newspapers for years spreading hate there have been people

spreading qanon idiocy long before trump era. how many remenber flouride in the water ? how many of u remember when the apollo missions went to the moon that the rockets punched a hole in the atmosphere to stop rain. etc then their stupid , mean " jokes " arnt jokes at all and the out and out right harrassment of anyone who is one iota different , gay , women. poc and so on

[Celerity]

77. Fuck Facebook and Fuckerberg. Delete your account, don't feed the beast.

Cheers

[Boomerproud]

79. How do you shut down or delete your Facebook account?

I would like to but can't find the click to do it.

[soldierant]

84. There is a site called "Just Delete Me" which may help.

I've never been on Facebook (and I'm happier about that almost daily), but used the site when people I knew had died and either their family was computer illiterate or I had been asked by the person while still living to assist with that. I have saved the info for my own executor also

The site gives you an idea of how easy or hard it is to delete an account, roughly how, and what happens to information you have already posted (sometimes it's smarter to delete all posts firt before trying to delete the account.)

[gldstwmn]

80. Facebook was started as a way for college guys to rate girls.

It could only go down from there. I just finished watching Super Pumped on Showtime about the guy who founded Uber. He wanted to be like Zuckerberg and the other tech billionaires. Now we have 70 something year old Bill Murray grabbing a woman on a movie set. Toxic masculinity is a real problem.

[Skittles]

85. mabye get off that cesspool FB?

just an idea

[BComplex]

90. "Ya know who the real "groomer" is? It's Fox News and the RW hate media"

This needs to be thrown back into the mix at every turn. This is the TRUTH, and that is what needs to be thrown out there all during the coming elections.

[Mike Nelson]

91. I think...

... you are correct in identifying a big part of the problem - FOX News and the RW hate media. Many people blame FB, Twitter, etc... it should be stated that the Trumpsters would like to regulate or eliminate Facebook and Twitter, but they have no proposed regulation for outlets like FOX News. In fact, their deregulations got us FOX News.