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Sun Apr 24, 2022, 08:26 PM

Screwtape Writes Again From Hell Of the Passing Of the GOP Baton From Trump To DeSantis

Last edited Sun Apr 24, 2022, 09:45 PM - Edit history (1)

There's a news blog called PolitiZoom which is run by a few people , most of whom used to spend time on Daily Kos, but have left (not all voluntarily.) I get the newsletter and thankfully saw this article - and obtained permission to share with a link (it's long but worth every second.)

I have been a fan of C. S. Lewis since I was in junior high (I'm now 76) and have read and re-read most of what he wrote. When I started reading this parody, it felt like he was suddenly alive again and completely up to date with the voice remaining the same. It was written by Ursula Faw. Not to spoil it all, I'll post a chunk straight from the beginning:

MEMO: From Vice Chancellor Screwtape to Senior Tempter Wormwood

My Dear Wormwood,

My very dear Wormwood. How proud I am to come to you once again to congratulate you on yet another promotion. I knew that your appointment to the Political Division was the right choice. You remember how your cousin Wailbone was lobbying to have you transferred to her realm, Mayhem and Suicide? I opposed that at the time, saying you could be of better service in Political. Little did I know the degree to which I was understating the case.

You, Sir, are about to be elevated to Liaison of Fascist Control, because of the appearance of Ron DeSantis on the scene. Yes! That is a more powerful division than either the one you or Wailbone are currently in and Wailbone is being promoted, too! What a family of prodigies I head! Yea, Fascist Control is the division that Our Father Below supervises personally because it is the culmination of all our work and all his aims. He has not signed the proclamation yet, but he will, and so I am sending you this missive sub rosa, so that you can put the champagne on ice and get the music playing. Put on those dance slippers I gave you, the ones with the curved toes! And for music, I suggest the tune I myself composed, of the screams of new arrivals in our Hall of Welcome, when they realize their fate. Thereís no sound in the universe like it!

I must tell you of Wailboneís ingenuity before I compliment you on your own. She, being in charge of Suicide, especially tasked the tiny and unfairly besieged transgender community, and that is how she discovered Ron DeSantis doing the very work she was attempting to do herself and much better, of tormenting and persecuting these people. She wrote a referral on his potential for our purposes.

Your cousin was right. DeSantis is a piece of work. It is rare indeed that a man becomes a Real Devil during his brief earthy sojourn in the flesh. Usually, the finishing touches are left when he graduates to a spot down here, and if he doesnít end up consumed in a feast by us, if we deem that his soul is of such Unspeakable Rot (I canít describe the fragrance that has, you simply have to experience it for yourself) then he goes on to several centuries of torment in our Perfected Demon course of study and then he becomes a Real Devil. For a mortal man to achieve this while in the flesh is truly extraordinary and as rare as popsicle stands Down Here.

I believe you have only seen Real Devils in pictures, but they have a wingspan almost as large as Our Father Below and they attend him constantly. They act as his Apostles, if you will forgive the expression, but the analogy is accurate.

I was commissioned to write a report and I can say with all assurance that DeSantis is indeed a Demon Incarnate. I clearly have an eye for talent, if I say so myself, and if anyone has the goods it is this autocrat who has climbed to power so quickly and who relishes Pure Power above all else.

The fact that he came out of a democratic political system makes it all the more luscious. In terms of Pure Evil he actually puts Putin to shame but donít let it get around your division that thatís the word in Hell, we donít want the tempters handling Putin to get cranky. They have played their parts beautifully, convincing him to go to war, while his bankers and generals and advisers begged him to withdraw from Ukraine, run run runaway, live to fight another day, but no, he was in the right and Ukraine is really his.

Meanwhile, his own people canít get a hamburger, or a movie, or computer support online, but he is oblivious to any of that. His mad fantasy preoccupies him instead. As indeed it should. His tempter, Crotchrot, is a maestro of these matters.

And it just gets better. Here's the link to the full article:


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