Reasons there are very few mass shootings in other first-world countries.
1. The people are all devout Evangelical Christians who attend church regularly.
2. Their movies, tv shows, and video games contain almost no violence.
3. There are almost no LGBTQ people there and the few there are stay closeted.
4. There's no socialism to be seen anywhere.
5. Men and women are virgins when they marry and stay faithfully married for life.
6. Minorities there are never uppity.
7. Everyone is constantly armed, so they're all unflaggingly polite.
8. There's very little mental illness there.
9. No one is ever unpopular or ostracized.
10. All their public gathering placed are impregnable fortesses with only one door.
11. Even though the End Times are coming for everyone, America gets extra special Trials and Tribulations.
OK, NRA. Can I haz $$$ now?
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This has me 
