More Things You Have To Believe To Be A Republican Today: The Ten Year Old Harlot Edition
So, the Supreme Court makes up dumb excuses out of literally medieval writings and religious superstition to overturn women's rights to body autonomy, and sure enough a ten year old girl got impregnated by rape, went to another state to get an abortion (because. you know, TEN YEAR OLD GIRL) and of course the Republicans want to prosecute the doctor who helped this innocent girl. Because it's totally safe and normal for a ten year old girl to endure pregnancy and childbirth, and be a capable parent without any help because help would be socialism. The little slut probably had it coming, right?
So time for the fifty-sixth look at the mentality (if it can be called that) of the people who didn't see any problem with the previous paragraph, More Things You Have To Believe To Be A Republican Today:
Reposts and Updates:
* Abortion is an absolute wrong even in cases of rape, incest, or to protect the life of the woman carrying the fetus. Abortion is permissible when the woman carrying the fetus is the wife, mistress, or daughter of a pro-life, family values Republican politician.(#10, Nov 2012)
Yep. Here it is again:
* Degenerate Perverts Unfit For Public Life: Joe Biden, Cal Cunningham, John Conyers, Andrew Cuomo, John Edwards, Al Franken, Katie Hill, Elliot Spitzer, Anthony Wiener; Great Americans Who Believe In Family Values And Deserve A "Mulligan" or Two Or Three: Joe Barton, John Bizon, Jayson Boebert, Lauren Boebert, Anthony Bouchard, Herman Cain, Tucker Carlson, Madison Cawthorn, Lee Chatfield , Larry Craig, Steve DesJarlais, Bobby Dyer, Joe Fain, Jerry Falwell Jr, Mark Foley, Matt Gaetz, Will Gardner, Ben Gibson, Newt Gingrich, Marjorie Taylor Greene, Eric Greitens, Joe Gruters, Rudy Guiliani, Sean Hannity, Dennis Hastert, Charles Herbster, Curtis Hill, Duncan Hunter, Jeff Jansen, Gym Jordan, Brett Kavanaugh, Nathan Larson, Anton Lazzaro , Corey Lewandowski , Rush Limbaugh, Josh Mandell, Vance McAllister, John Merrill, Roy Moore, Brad Namdar, Jonathan Newel, Kristi Noem, Bill O'Reilly, Carl Paladino, Charles Peruto, Tom Reed, Kevin Rinke (NEW!), Rick Roeber, Chad Micheal Salsman, Bill Sanderson, Mark Sanford, Ken Starr(!!!), Sarah Stogner, David Stringer, Van Taylor, Clarence Thomas, Donald Trump, Ruben Verastigui, David Vitter, Aaron von Ehlinger, Herschel Walker (Updated), and Steve Wynn (#32, Feb. 2018)
All-New More Things You Have To Believe To Be A Republican Today:
* Abortion should be decided by the states, which is exactly why we also need a national abortion ban.
* Opposition to abortion has nothing to do with white nationalism.
* The Second Amendment is required to protect us from the imminent, existential bodily threat of sandwiches with too much mayonnaise.
* Freedom of Religion means firing employees for refusing to join in a home renovation company's prayer sessions.
Thanks to In It to Win It and @JoJoFromJerz:
* You throw temper tantrums and try to choke your own bodyguards while insisting that women are too emotional to be leaders.
* The January 6th Committee is clearly an illegitimate political hack job because only members of one party are testifying.
* The Republican politicians who tried to overturn the 2020 election are completely right when they say Democrats are the ones who "hate democracy".
* You're a free black man who legally married a white woman, and claim to be a "Constitutional originalist."
* Women being deprived of their rights and gun deaths are cause for "celebration".
* Russia was the embodiment of evil when it was a repressive, authoritarian dictatorship allegedly in the name of Communism; Russia is the last great hope of the civilized world now that it's a repressive, authoritarian dictatorship allegedly in the name of Christianity.
* It's all women's fault that a white man used a high powered military weapon to murder people at a July 4th parade. Or maybe it's weed. It certainly can't be because high powered military weapons are easily available to just about everybody who wants one at any time for any reason.
* You criticized Boris Johnson for being unpopular, throwing temper tantrums, administrative misconduct, and having no idea how to handle Covid. You are a supporter of Donald Trump.
* "Is slavery bad?" is a gotcha question.
* No right to privacy: Women and their own body parts. Absolute right to privacy: Drunken Supreme Court Justice who helped take away women's right to privacy having dinner at a swanky restaurant.
* You want to outlaw abortion, but are desperately afraid the government might stop you from murdering your own already-born grandchildren.
* Women are not entitled to make their own reproductive decisions; those decisions must be made by Supreme Court justices and drug store clerks.
Almost verbatim from Rustynaerduwell:
* You want proof that a ten year old child was raped, but believe the election was stolen without any evidence at all.
* Unless you're rich, you have to work until you drop dead.
* Russia is losing in Ukraine because Shredder and Krang are on Ukraine's side.
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