"Hurricane Ian would not have hit Florida if I were still President" /satire

[Jack the Greater]

"The weak leadership of the Biden Administration, if you want to call it leadership, frankly, I don't, some people do, but I don't, but the weak leadership of the Biden Administration has invited devastation from Hurricane Ian, everyone says so. Hurricanes no longer respect our weak borders. It's a shame what this country has become, hurricanes enter our nation with impunity. But this is what you can expect from a Democrat administration, hurricane after hurricane after hurricane, some will be named Ian, some will be name Fiona, and someday, I hope, I don't know, but I hope someday one will be named Donald, because as we all know, Donald is great and historic name, and deserves to have a hurricane named after it, but not one that enters our once great nation and creates devastation, horrible horrible devastation the likes of which have never been seen before. And this is what you can expect under my administration, hurricanes NOT entering our nation. It's simple, they would be afraid to, they would know that if they tried to enter our nation they would be met with tremendous force, tremendous tremendous force which would completely stop them in their tracks and drop them down to tropical storms. They don't want that. They want to remain powerful devastating hurricanes, not tropical storms, which are not as powerful and devastating. So they would just not come here, not under my administration. And do you know what else would not come here? People who are not American, American like us, like you and me, people who are different from us, people who eat different food, and listen to different music, music that is not Elton John and the Village People. I could go on and on, but I think you know what I mean. No more hurricanes and no people who are different from us!

[LakeArenal]

1. Most of us appreciate being told it's satire so not to waste time after the click bait.

[SWBTATTReg]

4. I agree. NT

[Jack the Greater]

6. I would have thought that most people of reasonable intelligence would have spotted it as satire

... without being told. Sorry

[50 Shades Of Blue]

2. 😂You really channeled the orange menace!😝

[dalton99a]

3. Yep. Sounds like him

[JustABozoOnThisBus]

5. Euro model? U.S. model? Where's my sharpie, I'll show you a model ... nt

[dalton99a]

7. The Power of Trump Compels You

"In the Name of our Lord Donald Trump! It is He who commands you! BE GONE!"

[calimary]

8. Just fix it with a Sharpie.

[TheRealNorth]

9. You could have added that he will "Build a Wall" to keep out hurricanes.

And Jamaica/Cuba/Mexico (take your pick) will pay for it.

[Jack the Greater]

10. Yeah, but you gotta stop somewhere

Spending too much time inhabiting such a toxic persona can do permanent damage. I don't need that. It's kinds like free diving, no matter how big your lungs are, eventually you have to come up for air.

[Brainfodder]

11. He would have stood at Fort Myers' main beach and forced the water to stay put WITH HIS MIND!

If he wasn't too busy raking the forests!

[Samrob]

12. His majestic marker would have drawn it up the coast to a blue state. nt

[Hugh_Lebowski]

13. 'Paragraphs' are always nice, just saying.

Some of us struggle to read a wall-o-text

[Jack the Greater]

15. I wrote like he speaks.

He doesn't do paragraphs.

[Hugh_Lebowski]

16. Well then I'll grant you this artistic license while at the same time saying ...

I couldn't bring myself to read your post

[Norbert]

14. No. It would have hit Alabama.