Trump to Try for Historic Third Impeachment

[Zorro]

PALM BEACH (The Borowitz Report)—Stating that “no one’s ever done this before,” Donald J. Trump announced plans to be impeached for a historic third time.

Speaking to supporters in a ballroom at Mar-a-Lago, the former President claimed that he and only he could bring impeachable offenses back to the White House.

Although he was short on specifics about which crimes he might commit, Trump pledged, “We’re gonna perpetrate so much, you’re gonna get tired of perpetrating.”

He contrasted his record for getting impeached with that of his successor, Joe Biden, who, he claimed, “is too low-energy to commit a felony.”

“Joe Biden has been President for almost two years, and how many impeachments does he have to show for it? Zero,” he said. “The rest of the world is looking at us with a President who can’t get a single impeachment, and they’re laughing at us. Laughing at us. This should never be allowed to happen in this country.”

https://www.newyorker.com/humor/borowitz-report/trump-to-try-for-historic-third-impeachment

[marble falls]

1. Borowitz. As soon as I saw the headline! This person is a national treasure!!!!

[MarineCombatEngineer]

2. I figured it was either Borowitz or the Onion,

but it definitely has the ring of truth to it.

[Hotler]

3. Can't impeach a dictator or king. Once he's back in he'll never leave.

Once he said maybe hand it to Ivanka..... That should scare the shit out of everyone.

[marble falls]

5. Ask Louis XVI, Charles I, Czar Nicholas, Mussolini, the Shah of Iran, among a bunch of others ...

... about that.

[Kennah]

4. Third time is the charm

[tanyev]

6. Oh, that's perfect.

[Warpy]

7. That boil on the arse of the body politic, McCartjy, will soon rectify that

and try for at least 3 failed impeachments over the next couple of years.

The charges should be a total hoot and will all boil down to "doing his job." Republicans hate presidents who do that.