I am not having very much luck finding a house for my mother and I.

[imanamerican63]

Over the past couple of weeks, I have started process of buying a house. I found a realtor who is ambitious enough, a lender who is patient and willing to help get a house at a good price and yet not going put myself into tight spot financially.

I have not been able get to home to look at anything but I will get home Wednesday and hopefully check out what’s available.

Just when I really like something, and tell my realtor about or she finds a house like I’m looking for? It’s gone into pending. Now, I know “pending” means the loan is processing and may or may not go thru? My problem is, I need to be very aware of what house I get, so my mother doesn’t have to go up and down stairs, unless she needs too. For a market that was stagnant for a time? They are selling fast right now.

Then, I have an issue with my siblings! Each one tells my mother something different in their conversation with her, like “you need to go to an assisted living care home”, or “ you need to move closer where I(sister) lives so I can take care of you here” & the best them all “got a wedding coming up and we can’t help right now”.

Now, I made a promise to my father before he passed away, that I would look out for my mother’s wellbeing. I have gladly done for over twenty years. I will continue to do this without reservations, but I am perplexed that all my siblings have a solution yet never asked me before they tell my mother their ideas. It confuses her each time they utter an idea which they know is not viable for a good outcome. I guess nothing I do will make any of them happy, but because I will do what my mother wants and what will make her the happiest for the future year or future years to come.

Thank you letting me vent on here. Oh, those siblings I am talking about are all Republicans! Maybe that’s why they keep trying to force ideas into my mother’s head. Have a great rest of the week and wish me luck!

[jcgoldie]

1. pending often means...

...that the potential buyer has a contingency and they have a certain amount of time to secure their loan usually by selling their other home. You can still make an offer in such cases if you have no contingency and financing ready.

[Deuxcents]

5. I agree. Anything can happen on the way to the closing table.

[moniss]

9. I've experienced cases

where property I was looking at that was a good deal and inquiring of the listing realtor would suddenly go to "pending" and then be sold to a relative of the realtor. Another scam they engage in is buying houses and paying an unnecessary premium over the listed price in order to create higher priced comparable sales in order to justify jacking up prices in a market and the resulting mortgages/commissions etc. There is a great deal of crooked unethical conduct in the real estate/realtor end of things. Several of the realtors/lenders howled like crazy when I told them I would hire my own appraiser and inspector.

Yes there are decent ethical people in the real estate industry. It's just that there are a ton of bad ones also. I remember several lenders back in the early 2000's who told me they weren't interested if all I wanted was a mortgage for $100,000 or so. They told me they would pre-approve me for a big jumbo loan of $750,000 on a "no doc" basis. I had no need for some big fancy house and so I walked away and still haven't bought anything as the whole experience disgusted me to the nth degree. I'll probably go the conversion van route from here till they find me decaying inside it in a parking lot.

[Happy Hoosier]

20. Always hire a buyer's agent.

Realtors work for sellers. But you can hire a realtor as a "buyer's agent" and their fiduciary responsibility is to you, as the buyer.

Some realtors won't do it because they are obligated to act in your interests and that affects their commission, but it's usually less work for them, and they can make fairly good money for a relatively small investment of time. I had very good luck both times I used one.

[Sucha NastyWoman]

11. Pending just means it's in the escrow process while all the parties

Go through the steps to complete their obligations needed to get to closing. It COULD mean there is a contingency fo the buyer to sell their current home, but that is not usually the case. Especially in a sellers market, the seller is even less likely to take their house off the market for a buyer who can’t purchase the home without selling their current home first.

I would put in a back up contract if there is a pending contract on a home you really like. If the other sale falls through then you’ve lucked out, and if you find another home you like, you can withdraw your backup contract.

I’m curious what market you are looking at.

[we can do it]

15. Pending means all contingencies met, waiting on loan commitment or to come out of underwriting.

Your only hope is the loan fails, best to forget those and move on.
Contingent status means something like inspections being done and slight chance they won’t agree on any repairs….still not much chance.

Have a good lender and be ready to offer as soon as you see something you like.

[Hope22]

2. Vent away! Family can be exhausting.

You just need to continue to do what you think is right. Those who talk but do not help will continue to do more of the same as time goes by. I hope you find a home that you both can be happy with. Love to you.

[LoisB]

3. Ignore the siblings and do what is best for you and your mom. Good luck with the house hunting.

[Nictuku]

4. I got big shoulders and a heart full of empathy

Keep doing what you are doing. You know you are doing what you can, and what is right.

[diva77]

6. I hope you have medical & financial Power of Attorney for your mom

[3Hotdogs]

7. Yes. An elder law attorney is the best advice I can offer.

[onetexan]

10. THIS!!☝️

[rubbersole]

12. Absolutely critical.

Can be life changing in a very positive way. It might mean getting on a waiting list for a reputable/honest/highly recommended elderly law attorney. Just having a blueprint going forward is a relief. Our initial appointment was $500 for 2 hours. We had all the financial/medical/personal info we could find. We retained him at $6,500. Saved the family $175K (equity in a home that was going to be sold to pay for care).

[3Hotdogs]

18. Total cost for ours was $2,500. Initial consultation was free, With referral from N.J. Bar Assoc.

He saved us more than $200k.

[rubbersole]

19. We were initially operating on anecdotal misconceptions.

Like the idea you have had to disperse assets for 5 years prior to applying for Medicaid. In Florida you are allowed to own a house and a car even if you have moved to assisted living. There are easy to follow guidelines required for compliance that the attorney can handle or you can do yourself if you want to avoid retaining him/her. The most important result of the initial consultation was the relief that we were doing the right thing and going in the proper direction. I can't recommend it enough.

[Kaleva]

16. +1

[sprinkleeninow]

8. I'm believing for you both to receive the exactly perfect in every way new abode! 🩵

[progree]

13. Mortgage rates have dropped quite a bit since last Wednesday because of the bank failure situation

(paradoxically. That situation might change quickly)

The average rate on the 30-year fixed mortgage dropped to 6.57% on Monday, per Mortgage News Daily. It was 7.05% last Wednesday and 6.76% last Friday

, 3/13/23

Dang, I didn't write down the source or a link like I usually do. The lower mortgage rates (while they last) means more people will be buying (and selling too).

As for why mortgage rates fell -- there is a flight to safety in the financial markets and that's resulting in money going into bonds, particularly Treasuries. That pushes bond prices up and bond yields down. Mortgage rates loosely follow the 10 year Treasury yield.

Also, the financial situation has caused the "market" to believe that the Federal Reserve will not raise interest rates (25% bet that way) or raise them a quarter of a point (75% bet that way). A few days ago it was a 50-50 bet between raising rates a quarter point or a half point. https://www.cmegroup.com/markets/interest-rates/cme-fedwatch-tool.html

[blm]

14. 🫶🏽

[SheltieLover]

17. Investors are using an algorythm to search out affordable homes.

They snap them up for cash, closing in 3 days.

Sickening!

Keep trying! Sending you good vibes to find the perfect place for you & your mom.

Qpukes are likely trying to get power of attorney to control your mom's assets.

Can you move far away from them? That's the last thing she needs in advanced years.

Just my two cents.

[peggysue2]

21. Keep the faith

I know that's easy to say but after 18 months, my husband and I FINALLY found a house that will accommodate us, that we can afford and has been well taken care of (some of the places we've seen were downright dreadful).

Turns out we're crossing state lines, just barely, and will be living in Delaware where taxes are far lower than PA or Jersey.

So, I certainly understand your frustration in a finding a suitable house. Yes, they turn around very quickly. Our property's asking price dropped $15,000 the day we walked through it. We made a decision to go forward quickly bc I've had it with the crazy bidding wars (although they do appear to have slowed at the moment in our area).

Good luck!