Donald Trump To Announce He Suffers From Multiple Personality Disorder (P)

[Baked Potato]

Donald Trump To Announce He Suffers From Multiple Personality Disorder

Palm Beach Bulletin, Florida - BNN Baked Potato News

March 15, 2023
Bake D. Potato

Florida, America. (BNN) Failed President, faux father, lousy businessman, and saddest of all sacks Donald Trump, universally known for literally nothing resembling any realness or goodness, has suddenly announced he suffers from an affliction known as Multiple Personality Disorder. In these modern times, his illness is known as Dissociative Identity Disorder.

Trump, through many levels of anonymous charlatans and unaccredited physicians has revealed on his newest social media site, Plonker, he would like the world to know he feels most akin to a common “16 inch on center brace,” soft pine, and hand-nailed.

“I am most comfortable knowing I hold two beautiful studs from touching,” Trump mumbled recently at a glum ribbon cutting ceremony of a back-swamp-40, Florida Sticks-And-Stucco housing development, presently being drained in nearby Port St. Lucie.

Many Americans wondered if this is the point in which Donald John Trump would be considered “insane.” But staunch and loyal Republicans consider that this particular side of Trump shows he is a strong leader who holds up walls and favors macho relationships like God intended, by keeping studs apart.

As this story was being phoned in to all the top newspapers, “Studly McLimpsack” Donald shouted, “I’m mostly within code, so much beautiful code, great code the many inspectors have said.” A teary-eyed Florida home opened its garage door and bellowed, “Sir, keep that Chinese sheet rock far from me… MAGA!”

At this point… Trump, wearing only a clown suit… with no pants, was seen prancing around the main Mar A Lago courtyard. Donald, the mostly bewitched sleeve of toad tallow, cocked his head, fluttered his eyes and classically frog-faced himself. Then he placed his hands on his plenteous breasts and began flapping his arms frantically while shouting, “Bird, bird, bird is the word!”

Just then, Junior.. and Eric, bedecked only in tattered Underoos, burst through beautiful French doors and out into the courtyard, locked arms and bellowed, “Papa, Papa, Papa, Oom Mow Mow, Papa Oom Mow Mow!”

(P) Parody warning, for those who need it for well being.

[brush]

1. What the...? Is BNN "The Onion on steroids?

This is way past the parody/satire. of "The Onion" and "The Borowitz Report."

[MLAA]

2. Finally an accurate news report (even if it is half baked) 🙂

Well done, Baked Potato!

[KS Toronado]

3. Parody? More like Fortune Teller

In the near future Тяцмp will find some world renown "Doctor" who nobody has ever heard about to prove he's
innocent of all wrongdoings because of some rare new disease only he knows about.

[The Unmitigated Gall]

4. What Orangenfuhrer has

Is multiple DISORDERS of personality, rather than a disorder of multiple personalities.

[kentuck]

5. bird, bird, bird

[Baked Potato]

6. That's what I'm talkin' aboot!!!!!! Nt

[Marcuse]

7. Worth a shot.

?v=1571611306

[ThoughtCriminal]

8. Six Personalities

and they're all assholes.