The inappropriateness of the Dalai Lama looked typical of dementia to me.

[blm]

Often times a person with dementia acts with no inhibitions and will show completely inappropriate behavior, even childish.

I’ve seen it a few times from older men who were also complete straight arrows in their lifetimes. Never flirted their entire lives, even as young men. Also saw it once with an elderly woman.

The Dalai Lama is 87. I think if this was a pattern of behavior in his life we’d have learned of it by now.

My gut tells me this is an 87 yo with dementia.

[Ocelot II]

1. I agree. Sometimes elderly men who never would have behaved inappropriately

suddenly do something shocking that they never had done before, and it's Alzheimers or other dementia.

[electric_blue68]

2. Yeah, I wondered about that.

[OAITW r.2.0]

3. You nailed it, as usual, blm.

I. too, thought this was a sign of someone who has gone around the bend. Not to be vilified as a pedo, but to be chaperoned on future interaction with children. As many people who age, they become more child-like in their interactions. The Dali Lama is no different than many who return to their child roots.

[BlackSkimmer]

52. It'll be interesting to see who on this thread excusing this pedophilic behavior will later call

those in other religions "groomers" and pedos."

It's actually interesting to see who excuses pedophilic behavior at all. Under any circumstances, it is sick. Ymmv.

This is really fascinating. Bookmarked.

[FakeNoose]

4. So who will tell him it's time to step down?

[Hugh_Lebowski]

16. China. And then they'll pick the next Dalai Lama (nt)

[IronLionZion]

23. China claims that, but the Dalai Lama and his supporters disagree

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Succession_of_the_14th_Dalai_Lama

They claim it should be up to the Tibetan people of the Buddhist faith. So there is likely to be 2, the Dalai Lama's choice and a Chinese choice.

[Silver Gaia]

30. Agreed.

[applegrove]

5. Plus sticking a tongue out is a Tibetan way to greet. So that was normal but what he asked the kid

Last edited Tue Apr 11, 2023, 10:59 PM - Edit history (1)

to do is devastating.

[Laura PourMeADrink]

19. +1 I agree. Unless someone tells me sucking at

Last edited Wed Apr 12, 2023, 04:12 PM - Edit history (1)

person's tongue is a normal tradition there, don't buy it.

[BlackSkimmer]

54. I gotta ask, what difference does "same sexed" make at all in this case or any other?

Are you actually trying to say if he said that to a little girl that it would somehow be ok?

Surely not.

[Laura PourMeADrink]

55. You're 100% right. It doesn't matter one iota !

[lpbk2713]

6. This is what I thought as well.

It must have been an unsettling experience for the young man but maybe someone
can have a serious discussion with him about how people change as they age.

[Joinfortmill]

7. Agree. Never any indication of anything 'off' prior to this. Hope I don't face anything like that.

[Coventina]

8. My mother started her dementia decline at about age 50 with behaviors like this.

Very inappropriate things that could be construed sexually, or just someone who has no sense of inhibition.

It was incredibly hard to deal with, as there was never any warning of when she would do something and when she would act normal.

However, we certainly started to curtail her time in public spaces.

[yaesu]

15. My coworkers mother went through that, church going, sweet natured but

when she suffered the rath of dementia she swore like a sailor, couldn't control outbursts and such. A very cruel desease

[Laura PourMeADrink]

20. Sorry! I lived through a 30 year decline, due to dementia

with my dad.

Let me ask you, when your mom acted out like that, were the rantings within the realm of possibility within her whole lifetime?

[Coventina]

38. She didn't act out in her speech, just actions. And no, they were NOT things she would have done

or we could imagine her doing, previously.

[Laura PourMeADrink]

47. That's very interesting. I've always had a layman's theory

That words and actions come out from info that was somehow stored in brain somewhere. Something they saw or heard somehow or read or experienced somehow even if not personally?

Just saw a show where a character has dementia. And someone said - just go along and not try to correct
Because they won't understand the answer. But my dad's refrain was a constant " where am I, when are we going home?" so you had to answer something.

[Earth-shine]

32. My mom is 80 with dementia. She flirts with young men and lies about, well, everything!

It's not just bad memory. She denies that anything ever happened if someone helps her out.

She sees herself as self-made and independent. Her ego cannot handle the idea that she owes anyone gratitude.

She's a hoarder. She saves everything, except for some reason, she threw away all her tax documents for 2022 filing.

Now, I have to make a number of calls to banks, social security, and more. In a few weeks, after it's fixed, she'll deny that there was a problem.

[newdayneeded]

33. My mom is a little older,

it's so tough to deal with. She argues about events she sees in her mind that absolutely didn't happen.

[mzmolly]

9. I thought as much

also.

[Hekate]

10. Thank you for this kindness, blm

[AnotherMother4Peace]

11. I've seen it several times: my friend's elderly father made

very inappropriate requests of her. Her family realized that dementia was a part of his medical conditions.

My own father was 93 & seemed "sharp as a tack", but he was totally compensating. His anger was so out of control. His judgement could no longer be trusted. It was difficult to come to that realization. He passed away that year.

AND I have a close loved one that I'm keeping an eye on. Kinda like "On Golden Pond" with Henry Fonda, Jane Fonda, and Katherine Hepburn. The elderly patriarch started having signs of dementia that included inappropriate responses, poor judgement, anger, and fear. His wife (Katherine Hepburn) was the only one around him that understood what was going on.

[Just A Box Of Rain]

12. I think I'll avoid making a rush to judgement.

[ShazzieB]

13. I absolutely agree.

[madaboutharry]

14. I had the same thought.

The loss of any filter and losing a sense of social awareness are signs of dementia.

It seems he has lived an exemplary life. It could be time for him to step down and have his legacy preserved.

[Hugh_Lebowski]

17. And then China will pick the next one regardless of the 'proper' succession

Personally I'd rather see His Holiness keep the title til his death.

Just ... maybe let kids know he's not altogether there.

Something like this really wouldn't have traumatized me as a little kid.

But then, I was around semi-nutty really old people all the time growing up

People think kids are a hell of a lot more fragile than they actually are, IMHO.

Some old man asking me to suck his tongue would've been NOTHING compared to the bullying I got from my asshole peers.

[Silver Gaia]

22. I think it's gonna be a clusterfuck when that time comes.

China SAYS they are appointing the next one. Tibet thinks tradition says otherwise and they will not see that as legitimate. They may end up with two, or none. However it works out will make what should be a purely spiritual tradition into a political nightmare. IMHO.

[BlackSkimmer]

40. I was bullied also, but I would have run like a scared rabbit if some old pervert asked me to suck

his tongue. I disliked even having people kiss me, and thank god my mother was cognizant of that and handled it well.

Gross.

[Hugh_Lebowski]

57. If I'd been forced to DO it then yeah, of course ... GROSS!

Even by like age 5 or 6 I knew really old people could be really wacky at times. I wouldn't have tripped on the 'ask', only if I'd had to actually do it.

[dflprincess]

18. I don't think he really can step down but perhaps retire from any public life

The belief is that the current Dalai Lama is in his 14th incarnation and when his current body dies there will be no Dalai Lama on earth until he reincarnates for a 15th time.

https://www.cnn.com/2021/02/14/asia/dalai-lama-china-death-reincarnation-dst-intl-hnk/index.html#:~:text=The%20Dalai%20Lama%20has%20been,previous%20Dalai%20Lama%20passes%20away.

[peacebuzzard]

21. that poor child must have been so confused.

I believe that was totally unacceptable for the Dalai Lama. He needs to be monitored during public appearances and relieved from duties.

[newdayneeded]

24. that kid will be traumatized the rest of his life

he was made to suck on an old man's tongue, the video will be around forever.

[peacebuzzard]

31. i just couldn't watch after the Dalai said that.

Damn.
The good perspectives on Tibet and Buddhism devolve to something similar to Roman Catholic priets abusing children or Evangelical/Christian debaucheries against innocent women trying to find peace in religion.

[BlackSkimmer]

41. I agree.

These type things are always interesting as we watch people twist themselves into pretzels to defend or excuse something that they would be stridently shouting about if it were a Christian leader. Smh.

[soldierant]

25. Adding my thanks

to those of all who are grateful for your post.

[newdayneeded]

26. A thought like that had to go through

his head in his life, having a boy suck on his tongue. Dementia, maybe yes, but dementia could bring out those hidden thoughts. the filter is gone, so they get blurted out.

This is beyond gross and inappropriate.

[Laura PourMeADrink]

48. Dumb question... Is he celibate? All his life?

[newdayneeded]

50. I have no idea.

[BlueWaveNeverEnd]

27. the video was super cringe. I had to turn it off

[summer_in_TX]

28. Makes sense. Just the last couple of weeks,

my 96 year-old dad suddenly has become besotted with ay. friend who used to work for him. He got her to send him a picture (she sent one of herself and her son) and he cropped the son out of the picture, blew it up, printed it out and hung it up right by one of our mom (who has been gone since 2013).

He even startled her by kissing her on the lips. He managed to figure out how to call her and is doing so multiple times a day. We were going to try to do an intervention but he was under the weather yesterday. Not sure it will work. He may have started having delusions, like my mother-in-law did her last year. She was convinced her husband was still alive but was having an affair with a physical therapist and they were making off with the money. My husband took her to visit the grave but still couldn't convince her that his dad was dead.

[JI7]

29. like Herbert WAlker Bush

All done in public with other people and cameras around.

[Lucinda]

35. ❤️ ✿❧🌿❧✿ ❤️

[UTUSN]

36. Yes, but perhaps with a layer of previous, ingrained habitual &/or cultural behaviors?

[andym]

37. There are different kinds of dementias, some often present with early inappropriate behavior

Frontal temporal dementia and Lewy Body dementia come to mind. Although Alzheimer's can also present this way.

[BlackSkimmer]

39. So if a leading Christian leader did this, same age, etc. - you'd be ok with it?

How about the Pope? How about a leading Rabbi?

You're all good with it, right?

[blm]

42. If presented the same way, I'd say exactly the same.

It presents as dementia.

Why assume otherwise?

[Laura PourMeADrink]

49. I'm not

[BlackSkimmer]

51. Me either.

Fascinating to watch the pretzels people are willing to twist themselves into with this.

[Just A Box Of Rain]

43. Could be some deep-seeded perversion finally coming to the surface, could be dementia,

or could be an innocent attempt at humor that went very awry.

I'm not going to leap to a judgement on which of these scenarios is the correct one, myself.

[ZonkerHarris]

45. Meet the MIRT team...

[Richard D]

46. I encourage everyone to watch this video.

There was no inappropriate behavior.

[Just A Box Of Rain]

53. It is well worth watching prior to jumping to judgements.

Thank you for posting this.

[obamanut2012]

56. lol yes, there absolutely was!

Y'all excusing this si really, really something.

[AnotherDreamWeaver]

58. Richard, thank you for this post. nt

[Richard D]

59. One more piece

“Eat My Tongue” “The Tibetan Phrase ‘Che Le Sa'”

A KEY POINT MISSING: In Tibetan culture, it is common to see the old grandparents not only give a pop kiss to the small children, but also give a small candy or piece of food to children from their mouths – directly mouth to mouth.

This may not be the norm of your culture, but this is commonly done. After the elder gives a pop kiss and a candy, since there is nothing left in their mouth, nothing left to give, they will say the phrase “Ok, now ‘eat my tongue” (not ‘suck,’ as His Holiness misspoke due to his less proficient English). The Tibetan phrase is “Che le sa”. They say that as in “‘ve given you all my love and the candy so that’s it-all that’s left to do is eat my tongue.” And itis a playful thing that the children know. This is not really done in the Lhasa region (capital of Tibet) so much, but it is more common in the Amdo region (where HH is from). However, it is definitely a Tibetan custom.

If we are honest with ourselves, we know that when we form an opinion on any topic without considering many aspects of context in any given situation, we are choosing to keep a significant degree of ignorance in our reasoning.”



https://www.elephantjournal.com/2023/04/the-tibetan-meaning-of-eat-my-tongue-dalai-lama/

[ShazzieB]

61. Thanks so much for this additional context.

This has added a great deal to my understanding of this incident.

[JI7]

62. With Brad Pitt