Gotta go?

[madamesilverspurs]

Came across this from my 2016 file. Given the rather noisome present conversation, I thought another share might be in order.


Birds gotta fly, fish gotta swim, people gotta pee. That’s just the way it is.

When I was a kid there were seven of us living in a house with one bathroom. I remember being amazed when I started kindergarten and discovered that the school had big separate bathrooms for boys and girls. Not only that, there were multiple seats available in the girls’ restroom, each with its own door. Amazing! In the more than half a century that has elapsed since then it has never even once crossed my mind that a transgender person might need to use the same facility that I use. I don’t recall anyone ever even mentioning the subject. There was one notable discussion, at a private club, about some of the guys using the gals’ bathroom because, according to those same guys, their own bathroom was too dirty; it was “suggested” to them that they might consider cleaning up after themselves, which they did after being barred from the cleaner room. Some of my favorite fishing spots have facilities that are only designated “open” or “occupied”; again, the transgender issue has never come into play.

Which is not to suggest that I don’t have an issue with public restrooms. I do. But it’s one of accessibility, otherwise known as “the handicap stall”. How come there’s usually only one in a room with twenty stalls? And it’s usually in use, not necessarily by someone with physical difficulties. It’s understandable, really, given that many of the regular stalls are so tiny that contortionists have trouble squeezing in far enough to close the damn door while jamming hips and elbows into walls and TP dispensers. Factor in coats, purses, infants, and squirming toddlers and yes, the more spacious stall seems like a most welcome paradise.

Seriously, I can’t tell you how many times I’ve had to hold it while waiting for that stall, while many of the regular stalls were empty. I’ve had to wait for someone to finish changing clothes, for the mommy and all four kids to each take their turns, for the giggling phone call with the boyfriend to end (personal note, ew!); one young lady came scampering out and, noting my walker and oxygen tank, shrugged and commented “Hey, it’s not MY fault you’re crippled.” That exact remark, by the way, was delivered by a guy whose car overlapped the designated handicap parking spot making it unusable. But I digress.

So, if we’re going to make public restrooms an issue, can we at least have a discussion over something that really IS a problem and already has a considerable track record of real demonstrable concern? How about just making all public facilities as comfortable and functional and accessible as possible? Until that happens, though, we can at least acknowledge that use of handicap stalls does not require a prior examination of one’s genitals. Seriously.

[Hekate]

1. Any time you want to reprint this, I'm with you

[BSdetect]

2. Has anyone mentioned that in France toilets are multi gender?

At least they were and perhaps still are.

[Mr.Bill]

4. The funny thing is,

just about everybody has a multi gender bathroom in their own home.

[LakeArenal]

3. I've used a men's toilet if I've had to.

If public urination is illegal then any toilet with no one sitting on it should be fair game to anyone who needs it.

[Ms. Toad]

5. Lots of handicaps are invisible.

My daughter was diagnosed with a devastating illness her freshman year in college, one which left her constantly exhausted - the closest analogy is that she feels like she has the flu 24/7.

The first trip we took with her, ironically to a national conference for her disease, one of us needed to take a jog a few flights down into the subway station and back up to retrieve some information. I started to make the jog, leaving my daughter and spouse at street level. A woman nearby took it upon herself to scold my daughter for not being the one to make the run, instead of making her older parent do it.

My daughter looks perfectly normal, despite her disability. She has bursts of energy, despite her disability. At nearly 33 she has yet to finish college because her disability has made it impossible for her to reliably concentrate long enough to finish a semester. She has tried for 6 semesters post-diagnosis and may have finished one.

And yes, despite her normal appearance - a related disability means that she needs immediate access to a toilet - so she may well come out of the handicap stall laughing and giggling. It doesn't mean she didn't urgently need to use it.

I'm not suggesting that people don't abuse the handicap facilities. I am suggesting that, absent evidence to the contrary (like the mouthy jerk you encountered), you should assume that they have just as much need for it as you do. (As for the mom with kids - the handicap stall is often the only one with a changing station. Not to mention that, depending on the age of the children, it may not be safe to leave them in the main part of the bathroom without her.)