More Things You Have To Believe To Be A Republican Today: Simply The Worst
The late music legend Tina Turner had a song called "Simply the Best". And she was the best. In a sort of tribute to her, the title of this look into the world of right wing hypocrisy is called, appropriately enough, "Simply the Worst". Because Donald Trump, Ron DeSantis, and Kevin McCarthy are, indeed, the worst.
(Heh. My spellcheck doesn't like "DeSantis", and wants to correct it to "dentist". Look, I know one of those people is a sadist who enjoys inflicting pain on people and claiming it's for their own good, but the other one is there to help you take care of your teeth and doesn't deserve the comparison.)
(No. 63 in an occasional series. Collect them all until I restart with a cynical new No.1 just to temporarily goose sales!)
Reposts and Updates:
* Women < Children < Guns (#62, Apr 2023)
There's a virtual bumper crop of new perverts for this list!
* Degenerate Perverts Unfit For Public Life: Cal Cunningham, John Conyers, Andrew Cuomo, John Edwards, Al Franken, Katie Hill, Elliot Spitzer, Anthony Wiener; Great Americans Who Believe In Family Values And Deserve A "Mulligan" or Two Or Three: Ali Alexander (NEW!), Joe Barton, Shawn Bergstrand (NEW!), John Bizon, Jayson Boebert, Lauren Boebert (UPDATED), Anthony Bouchard, Luke Bowen, Jared Micheal Boyce (NEW!), Aaron Brink , David Byrd (NEW!), Herman Cain, Scotty Campbell (NEW!), Tucker Carlson, Madison Cawthorn, Lee Chatfield, Joshua Craft (NEW!), Larry Craig, Chris DeJoseph, Steve DesJarlais, Tudor Dixon, Bobby Dyer, Joe Fain, Jerry Falwell Jr, Mark Foley, Matt Gaetz, Will Gardner, Ben Gibson, Newt Gingrich, Phil Godlewski , Marjorie Taylor Greene, Eric Greitens, Joe Gruters, Rudy Guiliani, Sean Hannity, Adam Hageman, Dennis Hastert, Rocky Hayes, Charles Herbster, Curtis Hill, Perry Hooper Jr., Duncan Hunter, Jeff Jansen, Alex Jones, Gym Jordan, Randy Gene Kaufman, Brett Kavanaugh, Bernard Kerik, Joel Koskan, Nathan Larson, Anton Lazzaro, Corey Lewandowski, Rush Limbaugh, Josh Mandell, Bud Marty May, Vance McAllister, Randy McNally, [link:https://www.dailykos.com/stories/2021/4/7/2024873/-In-a-span-of-hours-Alabama-Republican-goes-from-denying-an-affair-to-apologizing-for-it|John Merrill, Roy Moore, Brad Namdar, Jonathan Newel, Kristi Noem, Bill O'Reilly, Carl Paladino, Frank Pavone, Charles Peruto, Lawrence Ray, Tom Reed, Kevin Rinke, Rick Roeber, Chad Micheal Salsman, Bill Sanderson, Mark Sanford, George Santos, Matt Schlapp, Cameron Sexton (NEW!), Alek Skarlatos, Melvin Slack, Bryan Slaton (NEW!), Ken Starr(!!!), Kent Stermond, Sarah Stogner, Roger Stone, David Stringer, Charles Sutherland, Van Taylor, Clarence Thomas, David Todeschini, Donald Trump (UPDATED!!!!), Ruben Verastigui], David Vitter, Aaron von Ehlinger, Herschel Walker, and Steve Wynn (#32, Feb. 2018)
* No right to privacy: Women and their own body parts. Absolute right to privacy: Supreme Court Justice blatantly taking bribes from a billionaire. (#56 , July 2022)
All-New More Things You Have To Believe To Be A Republican Today:
* You justify expelling two members of the Tennessee Legislature over gun reform protests by comparing them to the January 6th insurrection even as you decry arresting and punishing the actual January 6th insurrectionists.
The "Law and Order" party, everyone!!! And also...
* Being a member of the "Law and Order" party means pardoning murderers if they killed protesters you don't agree with and supporting a sex abuser.
* You whine about greedy, overpaid workers while collecting a $1.29 million bonus.
* You're worried about necromancers corrupting our children.
* "Basically Normal Stuff": Internet posts full of anti-Semitic, homophobic, and racist threats of violence.
* Tucker Carlson fights pedophiles.
* Roy Wood hates black people.
Of course, that was said by a Cuban who was born in Canada and hates Latinx immigrants, so take that as you will.
* You're offended when fictional alien robots, who don't reproduce sexually anyway, identify as nonbinary.
When you're doing something so bigoted that Megatron won't agree with it, you really need to rethink your life.
* Ron DeSantis fighting with Disney is good for Florida.
* Drag queens are disgusting perverts and pedophiles except when they date prominent "Family Values" Republican politicians.
* Raising the debt ceiling when a Republican is president: routine matter. Raising the debt ceiling when a Democrat is President: hostage situation.
* You hate being called anti-Semitic, but when someone tries to actually fight anti-Semitism you deride it as wanting to "go after conservatives".
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