Who in the world does NOT drink a milkshake with a straw????

[Jack Valentino]

I am puzzled by that concept. Sounds messy.... apt to cause 'mouth-foaming'---

although with those prepared to argue that it is
'more masculine' to drink a milk-shake without a straw,
one might not notice the 'mouth-foaming' since that is their usual condition.



(Now one might arguably consume it with a spoon rather than a straw--
but Mr. Jesse Watters never offered that option, so..... WTF)

(Neither do I reference the use of a straw for any other beverage,
since a milk-shake is rather distinct from any other beverage....)

(( I do recall once being with a girl at a bar,
and questioning why she drank all of her drinks through the swizzle stick.
"It keeps my lipstick in place", she told me--- so I suppose that was 'feminine',
except for any men who also wear lipstick))


AND of course, how this is even remotely relevant to a political campaign I fail to discern...

[DURHAM D]

1. I don't kow if it is still the case but

they used to have straws for regular drinks and fatter straws for shakes and malts.

[Wednesdays]

9. And nowadays for boba drinks. nt

[DeepWinter]

50. Yea

Really thick straws for milkshakes. Even then a shake super thick was a hard draw.

[OAITW r.2.0]

2. Apparently, that manly man, Jesse Waters does. Does he shotgun the vanilla shake?

[Jack Valentino]

4. A USA Today column suggested that they may use handguns---- lmao

https://www.usatoday.com/story/opinion/columnist/2024/09/05/tim-walz-milkshake-masculinity-jesse-watters-straw-fox-news/75089097007/


"The second and most-masculine option is to throw your vanilla ice cream shake into the air and shoot it with the handgun you carry at all times because you’re brave. As the shake contents rain down, you catch the droplets in your mouth while holstering your gun. Then you continue to explain to a nearby woman why she actually shouldn’t worry about her reproductive rights because Vance and GOP presidential nominee Donald Trump have it handled.

Boy, drinking a vanilla ice cream shake with a straw. Good luck recovering from this fiasco, Tim Walz.

And he has the nerve to call us weird."

Very funny suggested reading!

[struggle4progress]

3. Hokey Pokey

[SomedayKindaLove]

5. Real men eat it with their fingers

Like DeSantis and his pudding.

[Jack Valentino]

10. ARghhhhhh, didn't think of that! We should demand that reporters question DeSantis,

about how HE consumes a milk-shake!

(Obviously it is a question of HUUUUUGE national implications,
if Faux News thinks so!!!!)

And TRUMP, he should DEFINITELY be interrogated about THIS!!!!!

[brewens]

6. The only place I ever get a shake, good luck with the straw. You'd have to let it melt for 20 minutes to get any

through a straw. Normal shakes for sure.

[Jack Valentino]

8. I never had a problem, but most of my shakes were consumed in some over-heated

1970's sedan without air conditioning, in the back seat...

[brewens]

12. These "shakes" are basically soft ice cream. The jumbo comes in a freakin' chicken bucket! Small regional chain

called Sharp's Burger Ranch.

[duncang]

7. I have a mustache and beard.

Get it on your mustache and it drips on your beard.

Only thing I can think of is he runs around with his milk mustache saying how manly he looks.

[iemanja]

11. Fox is grasping at straws

[Jack Valentino]

14. JAJAJAJAJAJA!!!! GOOD one!!!!

And literally true!

[Klarkashton]

13. Comes out like an avalanche all over your nose and upper lip

Watters looks like Lee Harvey Oswald.

[Emrys]

15. Pah. REAL men snort it

Real REAL men suckle it straight from the udder.

[Jack Valentino]

18. That sounds like a non-consensual sex act committed

against the cow in question....

"she said 'MOOO' I thought that meant yes do it" ??

[Emrys]

25. You think THAT's bad?

(video surprisingly and relievingly SFW)

Note to self: Must delete browser cache.

[LeftInTX]

32. "Give us a call if you need any help"...LOL

[Emrys]

33. If you've got a free hand, like.

They should publish the tapes from their hotline.

[Jack Valentino]

36. I am NOT going to click on that video....

the headline was enough.

[B.See]

16. As I just wrote

milkshakes (alas that's all one can find now - seems real malts have gone the way of dinosaurs, The Whaler, and original version Butterfingers)

are just about the only thing I drink with straws, and it has nothing to do with macho bullshit.

Drink is colder at the top and sometimes I like to crunch the ice.

But leave it to these hate filled FUCKS to make a culture war over even a fkn milkshake...

Oh... and honoring our nation's fallen heroes.

But hey. It's not like they'd actually root AGAINST a US women's soccer team....

... say what?

[Jeebo]

17. Dairy Queen gives me a straw and a spoon.

I sometimes use the straw, sometimes the spoon. It depends on how thick the malt is (I get malts, not milk shakes), but I always ask for them thick.

Why is this in General Discussion? It sounds like the kind of topic that's usually posted in The DU Lounge.

-- Ron

[Jack Valentino]

21. Normally, but Fox News chose to MAKE it political...

Maybe you haven't heard. Faux New's Jesse Waters said that our VP candidate
was not masculine,
because he drank a milk-shake through a straw...


That's why this is in 'General Discussion'

[Voltaire2]

55. Real men do not go to Dairy Queen.

[Jeebo]

67. Okay, I'm not a real man. I admit it.

But I do like their chocolate malts. Thick, and without the whipped cream on top, and with about half as much chocolate syrup as they normally put in them.

-- Ron

[TheProle]

64. .

[Tree Lady]

19. Husband laughed at this because he hates

straws never uses them. Ordered milk shake today while we were out, 105 day. Used a spoon while I ate my gelato.

I think he said it's because you can't get the thick stuff up a thin straw. And he always begs for a thick shake you can hold a spoon in.

Tim can eat any way he wants, that reminds me of people insisting on the rght way to eat pizza, The right way is any way you do it that doesn't gross someone out.

[Sympthsical]

20. Paper straws ruined milkshakes

There. I said it. Paper straws are the most useless "I'm doing something!" invention of the past twenty years.

Now and then, my partner has a work meeting in downtown SF. Free hotel, so we sometimes get a room down by Fisherman's Wharf (I actually like that little tourist trap). Usually I'll walk over to Ghirardelli Square for a milkshake. They switched to paper straws a few years back.

It is physically impossible to drink one of those shakes through a paper straw. The straw will lose all molecular integrity far before the shake itself is liquid enough for passage. It is not merely a challenge - oh no - it is a penis slap to the face of culinary propriety.

I now keep a package of plastic boba straws in my overnight kit. I will not be caught out by this shit.

And if you're a boba shop using paper straws? Slap a closed sign and take a cruise. Just quit now before a mob forms. They've soggy cardboard gelatin bulbs and Gaston on their mind, and vengeance will be had.

So yes. Sometimes we are not given a choice. Sometimes a milkshake must be gulped.

[Jack Valentino]

23. Don't recall having a milkshake since the '80s--

nor the advent of paper straws--- and really don't do 'fast food' anymore--- so I may be somewhat out of touch--

But the use or non-use of straws does not strike me as either feminine or masculine---
(unless you are a girl in a bar protecting your lipstick)---

although mouth-breathing a milkshake might be thought 'masculine',
since most other men seem to me to often be rather stupid and undignified....

[Sympthsical]

43. My dad used to drink McD's shakes without a straw

When I was a kid (80s/90s), he'd just grab his shake and squeeze the cup. At the time, I thought it was a little odd, but also something that adult males did. Kids used straws.

My dad was very, very blue collar - worked on a loading dock - so seeing him in a flannel, five o'clock shadow, just palming that thing was quite an impression at the time.

Never really thought about it until this thread, or that I had that impression of adult men and milkshakes until now.

I just go with whatever's handy in the moment. But seriously, boba straws are amazing for all things. I make frozen fruit smoothies regularly, and they're perfect for that.

[Bristlecone]

30. Paper Straws were the original straw

Invented in the late 1890s.

Not arguing, just making mention of it.

[Jack Valentino]

37. Ah, ok. I was raised on 'plastics'.

'I have just one word for you. Are you listening?? PLASTICS!'

~ from 'The Graduate' (1968)

[Voltaire2]

56. Yutes. I bet you never even had a flav-r-straw.

[Jeebo]

66. " ... invention of the past twenty years ... " ?

I remember using paper straws way back in the 1960s. In my experience, plastic straws are the more recent invention. You must be a lot younger than I am.

-- Ron

[Sympthsical]

68. Perhaps "resurgence" is a better word

I'm an older Millennial, so plastic straws were pretty much it my entire life until the past five or so years.

Now it feels like I'm racing to finish something before the straw stops working. Hate it.

[Bev54]

22. Had to think for a moment, it has been decades since I had a milkshake, because I am

allergic to dairy.

[usonian]

34. Check the ingredients.

It may be all petrochemicals or recycled cardboard for all I know. Or dairy. I'd go local if possible and avoid chains.

How small a town ( 12 miles from my home) do I live in?

We had two chains/franchises. A subway and a Burger King. BK skipped town and now we are getting a Starbucks within a block of the family coffee/espresso place. Guess I'll have to amp up my family store purchases.

I wouldn't know how to make a non-dairy "milk"shake. I once found an eggless egg nog but I think it was mostly vanilla pudding, which i believe is mostly cornstarch, and you have to go to a natural food store to avoid artificial vanilla.

Then there will be AI food.

[Bev54]

38. I am in Canada, we have very strict regulations on our dairy producers, by their own wishes by the way.

No steroids or antibiotics in our milk allowed. Ice cream is a different matter as bi-products can come in from US so it is important to read the ingredients on ice cream.

[usonian]

44. Very cool. I spent a bit of time in Canada.

I was supposed to be learning physics but the course was tough. I mostly learned photography instead.

Later on, I spent some years doing optical engineering, so my alternate plan of studies paid off. I finally succeeded in physics by getting a computer support job in a physics department. Better to be paid than to pay.

Enjoy 🇨🇦

[Bev54]

45. Hope you spent some time photographing some of our most beautiful areas.

My son also says better to be paid. He always told me when he was in school he hated math, but now uses calculus daily in his job. I called him on his claims and he said "you didn't pay me". Who knew that was all it takes.

[usonian]

46. I started photographing in Vancouver.

Japanese Gardens at UBC. Sunsets, flowers, beach, mountains, and so on. Quickly traded the pocket camera for a Nikkormat. Been snapping ever since. Like over 50 years. Great place to start.

I later joined the USCG, and a buddy worked at a nearby camera store. I made friends with the base photographer, and every time he developed a batch of slide film, he'd add my film to the batch. Cost not a penny more to Uncle Sam.

[Voltaire2]

58. Any of the many plant milks would work.

Non dairy is easy.

[newdayneeded]

24. Ever since the manliest of men,

Jesse Watters said that, I've been rocking in the fetal position in my living room with a blinking light thinking "what's wrong with me!" WHY do I keep drinking milkshakes with a straw!11!1!11

[RandySF]

26. I have.

[Jack Valentino]

39. Exactly how? Tell us about it.

I might have done it once sometime in the dim past....
if I had somehow been deprived of a straw, but I don't recall it

[The Roux Comes First]

27. Let Us Not Forget We Are Dealing With a Whole Sub-race of Mouth-Breathers Here

[Jack Valentino]

40. I didn't forget it, I described the likely effect!

[RockRaven]

28. Psychos... Like TCF, JD Vance, FUX, MAGAts, etc.

These people are deranged. No hyperbole. They are deranged.

Genuinely aberrant. Disconnected from reality and the human condition.

THEY. ARE. NOT. NORMAL.

So of course his use of a straw for a milkshake is cast as wrong, because they are not capable of identifying actually normative behavior.

[Jack Valentino]

41. YES, In fact, they are "weird"

as our VP nominee so rightly noted....


As another poster stated, they are "grasping at straws"!

[Silent Type]

29. Right down to the very last gurgles. Makes me feel manly. Well, like I'm 5 years old.

[marble falls]

31. Do not use straws 90% of the time.

[Voltaire2]

54. Well nice try but that 10% makes you fully unmanly.

[marble falls]

59. Good thing I started out 110% manly. Whew. That was close.

[Voltaire2]

65. It doesn't matter. One straw sip obliterates all manliness.

[sakabatou]

35. The only time I don't use a straw is when I'm trying to drink the last bits

Thus, spoon.

[angrychair]

42. I never use a straw

I just scoop it out with my feet

[Blues Heron]

47. Wait till they find out that the inventors of beer (the Sumerians) drank it with a straw

That’s right, they drank beer out of a communal bowl with a long reed straw. I guess fox would call that both effeminate And communist!

[maxrandb]

48. People who constantly get their milkshakes taken fron them. NT

[elocs]

49. I don't drink milkshakes at all, but I do know that you can get warts from a straw. n/t

[NNadir]

51. I personally avoid straws because of plastic pollution.

I can wipe my upper lip far more easily than I can clean up the land and seas.

[Voltaire2]

52. The same weirdos who don't wash their buttholes

because it’s gay.

There is a very small subset of men who are so mentally repressed that they have imposed truly bizarre rules on themselves.

They exist in the distorted lens of the internet manosphere, where a well funded (see the recent criminal indictments) propaganda campaign promotes fascist hypermasculinity.

[GoCubsGo]

53. Maybe someone who has a medical condition that prevents them from sucking.

Like jaw surgery. But, that doesn't mean they don't want to use a straw.

[SKKY]

57. They're literally grabbing at straws!!

Pun intended. But seriously, if this is what they're going with, we're in a very, very good place doing into the elections.

[yellowcanine]

60. But he also got car sick and puked on his brother!

Not sure if a straw was involved, though. Maybe a milkshake contributed to the puking?

[kentuck]

61. They have nothing.

Just more crap thrown at the wall to see what might stick.

They will keep trying.

[getagrip_already]

62. Seth myers has pics of tsf and bill o drinking shakes through strawa....

This is overall a good clip, but the seg with straws is very good. Near the start, but dont have a timestamp.

?feature=shared

[Pharlo]

63. Hmmm...I think that statement by Jesse Watters may explain a lot about him.

By slamming milkshakes, he got brain freeze once too often and his brain stayed that way. Nothing but a block of ice.

[Retrograde]

69. Me, on the rare occasions I make them at home

because I don't as a rule keep straws at home. But then I cut hamburgers in half, so what do I know?

[TheKentuckian]

70. If I wanted to eat melted ice cream with a spoon then I'd order or make myself a bowl and let it sit a few minutes.

Fucking weirdos.