My daughter today, who is home schooled, told me

[The Straight Story]

That she wants to continue being home schooled.

Earlier this year she was wanting to go to a regular school next year. She did in first grade but it was, at times, hard for her as kids made fun of her (she was one of only a few white kids in a mostly hispanic school district and they made fun of her red hair, that she was white, etc - but she did well there in many ways and had a really awesome teacher).

Promised her (she is 11) if she wanted to go to a 'regular' school next year we would get her into a private school. I am working more hours, have the application for a small school here I have checked out, and by this time next year should be able to afford it (public schools here where I live? Uh, no. Between the drugs, poor education, etc, no way in hell I would send her to the school I used to go to).

She has friends from girl scouts, etc, so she has plenty of social interaction. We know and are friends with other home schoolers here as well.

What she saw today on the news scared her. Scared me as well. She can work at her own pace here, move ahead in subjects she excels at, not have to worry about all the drama at school, lunches, buses, what to wear, getting into cliques, etc.

To each their own, I don't judge those who send their kids to public schools (I went to one) or private or those, who like my sister, home school mainly using a religious curriculum.

She just wants to learn, not to worry about bullying, killers, zero tolerance, etc and so on - and, as noted, up until today she was thinking about going to a regular school next year. Now she is afraid more so than she was when she was being bullied in first grade.

I feel, deeply, for those who do not have this choice (and I didn't way back when with my 3 boys). So many will send their kids off to school in coming days and remember today and worry.

We need to find solutions, not just gun laws, etc, but real solutions to these issues - the ones that lead people to even want to do something like we saw today.

I don't have many answers. I do know that the problems we see today are greater than when I was a young kid, and it is not the weapons but the people behind them that have changed over the years the most.

Some will say we took god out of the schools, others will say it is because of guns, some will say mental health issues and blame reagan. Some will blame video games and movies, or books.

Answers will be hard to come by, solutions even harder.

[aquart]

1. This appals me.

"Plenty of socialization."

[The Straight Story]

2. In what way?

I often hear, from anti home schoolers, that kids don't get any socialization because folks feel the only way for kids to do so is to be in a class with other kids their own age.

She is not sheltered and has friends of all ages and is not pigeonholed into just one group of kids of only one age.

[Honeycombe8]

3. I think you should instruct the other poster on how to spell, since you're a home school teacher.

But I don't get what's wrong with your "plenty of socialization" statement. I totally understood what you meant. I had been wondering about that when reading the first part of your post, until you addressed it.

You sound like a very caring mom! You work AND home school your daughter? Sheesh. How do you find the time and energy?

[The Straight Story]

13. Well, I am not a mom, I am a dad :)

Her mom and I are not together anymore.

Her mother is quite ill with Parkinson's but still manages to do well by her when it comes to schooling. Days she is too ill to do so I pick up (and with home schooling you are not locked into the same schedule, you can do schooling any time of day).

[Honeycombe8]

15. Oh...my bad assumption! Caring = female! So your wife is the teacher? Even tho she's ill?

That's astounding. But it's good that she doesn't work, so has free time (when she's feeling up to it, I suppose).

[LittlestStar]

4. Here in Denver we had another horrific event a couple months ago. A little girl on her

way to school was kidnapped, raped, then murdered/dismembered and found in a field. It was a horrid couple weeks, before they arrested the perp. I think every parent in Denver was half mad with fear for their child/ren. My own little girl heard about it thanks to our lovely MSM who has to announce everything as loudly as possible, and she has been terrified to ride the bus ever since, even though we can see the bus stop from our house. She is terrified somebody will steal her on her way to school. She is 7 and has some anxiety anyway. So then today I had a meeting with a therapist to see if they could help my dd through her fears over going to school.

LO FUCKING L.
Now THIS. How the mother fuck do we expect our kids to feel safe at school????? I don't know if I will be able to keep this one from her but I will try. But I can tell you I was really wanting to go grab her from her school and never bring her back again. I swear, Obama, this is your chance, and millions of little kids are counting on you to protect them from the TERRORIST GROUP THAT IS THE NRA.

[Hekate]

14. I turned the TV off today. That is how I protected my 8 y.o. grandson from seeing it for awhile.

He's only with us Fri-Sat, but as this happened today it was easy for me to make that decision. By the time he gets home Saturday afternoon I hope the initial media frenzy will have abated just a little. It's too much for a kid to have to take in.

Remember Mr. Rogers special for-parents-only after 9-11? The gist of it was this: You have little children in your care. This is much much too big for them. All you grownups are very upset, and rightly so, but your job in this moment is to protect your little ones from the full onslaught of the information and the emotions swamping the country. Do not turn on the news while they are awake or in the room. Discuss with grownups away from the little ones.

After 9-11, PBS made the decision, almost alone of the TV stations, to keep to their regular children's programming schedule, and I'm sure Fred Rogers had a hand in that. News was broadcast at the usual times. (I became addicted to CNN in those days, months, years following 9-11 -- and found out about the 24/7 news/trivia cycle that never ends.)

Today I saw the President of the US weep, I heard S.E. Cupp sob on The Cycle, and I just turned it off. At 1:00 Pacific time I picked up my grandson from school and kept it off. We adults already know all we need to know just now, and it is breaking our hearts. Anything you can do inside your own house to quiet the noise from the MSM might go a long way toward keeping your daughter on an even keel.

That's all. I hope it helps a little.

Hekate

[Honeycombe8]

16. Good idea. Heard someone on TV address how to handle this with your kids....

it's such a horrific incident, and your children should know about it and will hear about it, anyway. Parents should discuss what happened with their kids. But, he said, turn off the news reports. Nothing good will come from your child being exposed to all the details and the nonstop coverage.

I agree. It's an important incident, and we all want all the details asap, but there will be 24/7 coverage of this, until something else comes along to knock it off the tv. It's understandable....people want to turn on the tv and get info asap, and the news networks have so much air time to fill. But it does get exhausting, the 24/7 coverage of big incidents.

[southernyankeebelle]

5. I have mixed feelings on the subject of home schooling. I want my granddaughter to experience

diversity in school. Lets face it the country isn't lilly white anymore and honestly I grew up going to school with all different kind of kids. I don't want my grandchild only to hang around white people. I want her to learn about others and the way they live their lives. We shouldn't fear others. Yet when my granddaughter gets to high school age I want her home schooled. The high school here is way to big and I don't think they really take an interest in the average student.

[lbrtbell]

6. I don't say it's mental health

I know it's mental health. Show me anyone who has committed a crime like this, and I'll show you someone with major mental health issues. There is no such thing as a normal human being who would be able to shoot so many innocent people.

That said, I'm glad you're homeschooling your daughter. I'm sorry she had to face racism for as long as she did, but you're a wonderful parent to take action instead of forcing her to endure it.

I hope you'll be able to reassure her that events like those today are very rare. It's just that we hear so much about them because they're so horrible.

Hugs to both of you!

[peace13]

7. Home schooling aside...

A child is just as likely to get shot at the mall, church or on the street. I don't think it is fair to let her be afraid of school. If you want her home schooled say that but it is better to help her be as comfortable in the world as possible. There is danger everywhere. Do we stay home forever?

Edited to add that I am not saying you should not home school. What I mean is to help her feel comfortable and safe when she is out.

[The Straight Story]

12. Valid points, my view:

Yes, it can happen anywhere, at any time, even where I live by drive by shootings and such.

The difference is - one is a place (school) where you end up going for 8 hours a day and your security is left to others. A scenario we have seen time and again that does not play out well when there is no real security and the only people with weapons are those on the offensive side.

I never, not once, when I was in school ever thought about someone coming in just to shoot people up. And I grew up around a slew of people with guns. Every family I knew had a gun at home (except one). Rifle, hand gun, folks hunted, shot off a gun on New Years' eve (as we did), had one for home defense, etc.

Today folks want to make the issue about guns - but that is not the issue, that is the method some use.

The issue is that there are people here today who do such things, think about doing such things, and when I was younger few did (we did have a stabbing over racial issues the year before I went to the HS here and it unnerved me a bit).

Stay at home out of fear? No. But I see no reason to put my child into an environment outside my sphere of influence for hours a day when it is shown time and again that schools are not safe - from shooters, bullies, or idiots with zero tolerance policies.

And I am always amazed that, some people here (not you), want to take that choice away from parents as though my child somehow belongs to them and their view of how society should be.

[WiffenPoof]

8. Sorry...I Don't Understand The Point...

...of your post.

-P

[tpsbmam]

9. Straight Story, you're one of my favorite DUers, but this just makes me sad.

I completely understand your reaction and your daughter's. And given what you've said about her local public school, I'd probably home school too simply because I'd want my kid(s) to get a good education and I know you're providing that. And, if I could afford to, I'd shoot for that small private school.

But is this a fear or a feeling about the world at large you really want to reinforce? Do you really want to reinforce that anxiety about the world? I have to tell you, as a former mental health professional, that makes me really really uncomfortable.

[The Straight Story]

11. Well, let me put it like this

On DU today I have seen many people doing exactly that when it comes to guns.

I have seen the same said about religion and such as well.

On the right similar such things about Islam, Russia, China, et al.

My feelings about the world at large do, and will, impact decisions I make. I would not let my daughter go to Syria for a school project to study Damascus right now for example

It is not the guns that bother me now. Back in my day people had pretty easy access to them. In my dad's day they actually took them to school and had classes about how to shoot them (as well as an archery class).

Our society is getting worse while telling us we are more secure. We spend a ton on security and TSA and armored vehicles and keep telling ourselves we are potential terrorists - but still we only react and do not prevent.

[Tumbulu]

10. Well my 11 yr old daughter is now terrified

she heard about it and burst out crying and is all upset. Who isn't?

My sister who is a teacher called to say that this one freaked her out, in a different way than other mass shootings.

There is something MORE about this. I think that the saturation point has been reached and no one can take it anymore.

As an aside at the very liberal diversified public school that my daughter goes to that is 45 miles away from the public school nearest to my farm (that is so violent that I could not send my daughter to it- similar story to yours- but my daughter DID NOT WANT TO HOMESCHOOL!!!!!- so I rent a small place in town to spend weeknights in right next to the school) a bunch of sixth graders all of a sudden went on a running rampage and knocked down and actually injured kindergardeners - bloody faces and huge bumps on heads- my daughter said that ambulances had to come????? The classes are so overcrowded and the kids are overwrought it seems.

The whole school thing is such a nightmare! And now we add this fear to the picture. I know that many children, not only my daughter will be scared. I know that many teachers- not only my sister- will be scared. I know that we are all effected and that we need to change somehow to end these sorts of attacks on our public lives.