“I think I’m going to be sick.”

[kpete]

John Cole:

“All I can think right now is how many moms have Christmas present hidden all over their house and were told this morning that their child is dead. How many of them will now look at a Christmas tree, knowing their child will not be there on Christmas morning to open the presents lovingly purchased and wrapped and hidden? How many of these parents struggled for years to get pregnant, and now their kid, because of some lunatic with an easily accessible gun, is dead? How many grandparents who waited for 30 years to have a grandchild, have plane tickets booked for the Holidays, and now need to change those plans and come up earlier to bury their grandchild. [...]

“And then the residual trauma. How many of these families will survive? How many of them will be driven to divorce by the trauma. How many of the siblings will never, ever be the same? I talked to my mom on the phone, and she is just inconsolable and simply can not watch the coverage. She’s worried the parents will kill themselves.

“This shooter and his easily accessed guns did not just kill 27 people. He ruined thousands of lives. And let’s not forget about the first responders. I don’t care how tough of a cop or a fireman you are, you will never be the same. We’ll have dozens of people with PTSD, leading to alcoholism and drug abuse and family problems.

“It’s just so god damned awful, it is hard to comprehend. Yet the same fucking assholes who enable this kind of stuff are now going to tell us all that now is not the time to talk about gun control (lest we “politicize it”) and that we need more guns to keep this from happening again.

“I think I’m going to be sick.”

..................

http://www.balloon-juice.com/2012/12/14/hard-to-comprehend/

[Happyhippychick]

1. Now is exactly the right fucking time to talk about gun control

Oh god, that article made me cry all over again, the presents under the tree.....

[lunatica]

2. Newtown has it's 'before the killings' and 'after the killings' to mark as a moment in history now.

Anyone who's lost a love one suddenly knows this. It fucks your world up.

[russspeakeasy]

19. And it lasts a lifetime.

[Ms. Toad]

21. A friend of mine shared this quote, that speaks my mind:

Last edited Sun Dec 16, 2012, 01:53 AM - Edit history (1)

"When we first collected much of this data, it was after the Aurora, Colo. shootings, and the air was thick with calls to avoid 'politicizing' the tragedy. That is code, essentially, for 'don’t talk about reforming our gun control laws.'

Let’s be clear: That is a form of politicization.... It’s just a form of politicization favoring those who prefer the status quo to stricter gun control laws."

http://www.washingtonpost.com/blogs/wonkblog/wp/2012/12/14/nine-facts-about-guns-and-mass-shootings-in-the-united-states/

[JDPriestly]

40. The people who are opposing rational gun control are the ones bringing politics into this issue.

They know better. Their deceptive talk about "gun rights" panders to fearful extremists. And their pandering is intended to get the fools to vote against their own interests and in favor of the interests of the rich manipulators who are quite willing to trade a few lives for their own tax advantages.

If the Republicans did not bring political maneuvering into the discussion about gun laws, we would have reasonable limits that would make it impossible for one crazy nut to kill 26 people.

[freshwest]

29. +1

[Mz Pip]

3. I have these same thoughts.

The pain, the horror, the shattered families. It's so random, so senseless and so damn final.

I cried yesterday and I don't know anyone from there but how can anyone not feel this? It cuts into our very beings.

[awoke_in_2003]

41. I was listening on my way to work...

I had a hard time staying in control. I lost it a few times when I was alone at work. We are insane.

[kalli007]

4. Wow I just posted about that first paragraph before I even read this post

The Christmas presents thought is awful...........

[Dustlawyer]

5. I lost my 3 1/2 year old son on 12/21/1993. You cannot begin to imagine how bad the survivors lives

will be for the next couple of years. Christmas time will ALWAYS suck for them, ALWAYS!

[Cleita]

7. No kidding!

[Dustlawyer]

54. No kidding!

[FedUpWithIt All]

8. I'm so sorry.

...

[October]

11. I am so sorry for your loss.

I don't know what more I could possibly say.

Heartbreaking.

[Dustlawyer]

52. Thank you, you have said all that needs to be said!

[heaven05]

17. In 1998

Christmas eve, got the call. Sister murdered, husband suicide. Man the devastation lasts, the hurt lasts. These families because of a sick person have had their lives altered beyond comprehension. I do offer my sincere condolences to all, first responders and everyone affected and you also for your loss and may the human race find peace. It's possible, one day, right?

[peacebird]

48. Iam so sorry for your loss...

[Dustlawyer]

53. Thank you! I have had time to deal with my pain, those poor families have not. Knowing what is

ahead for them makes my heart hurt!

[Dustlawyer]

51. I certainly hope so, thanks!

[babydollhead]

26. I'm so sorry for your loss. so sorry.

[deutsey]

32. My mom was 12 when her dad died in an accident the day after Christmas

She said she still feels that loss around this time of year.

I'm sorry for your loss, Dustlawyer.

[Skittles]

33. ....

I regularly donate platelets for cancer patients.....at the blood center there are various posters of encouragement. There's one with a picture of a beautiful 3 year old boy who died on Christmas day....the caption says, "No matter what happened we appreciate those who let us have our son one more day, one more hour, one more moment." I always have to avoid looking at it because it makes me blubber. I'm tearing up now. So so sorry, Dustlawyer.

[awoke_in_2003]

42. My mom died...

on Thanksgiving day 1981, when I was 13. Yes, it seriously fucks things up for a while. Every one is so damn happy during the holidays, and cannot understand why you are not.

[Bosso 63]

49. i'm so sorry for your loss,

No, I can't imagine it, not even close.

[Cleita]

6. I lost my husband three days before Christmas eight years ago.

The hurt doesn't go away even now, for me and the family. For several years neither of us could even decorate the house for Christmas and now although we do try to celebrate, there is that big hurt there. I feel so bad for those families. They need so much support from friends, neighbors and extended family right now I can't tell you how much. That first year, a neighbor included us in her family dinner. We didn't want to go but they insisted. It helped being around other people. (She has a large extended family.) Even if friends and neighbors bring them Xmas dinner food if they can't get them to come to dinner, it will help them a lot.

[Flabbergasted]

9. Not to mention being a faculty member at that school and dealing with going back.

And all the other things that need to be dealt with.

[OldDem2012]

10. There is always a touch of darkness for me at this time of year...

...my sister died in 1980 of a massive heart attack at the age of 26 and her birthday is December 12th. The pain of her loss has lessened over the decades since her passing, but you never quite get over it. You never truly get over the loss of anyone close to you.

But the manner in which these people died, especially the little children, will make the pain of their passing something beyond the understanding of those not directly affected.

Yes, I've already gotten sick, and now I'm just numb.

When the Hell are we going to wake up and DO something about our terribly loose gun "laws"?? If not now, WHEN??

[NYC Liberal]

12. I can't imagine what the kids who were actually in the school,

who witnessed the horror first hand, are going through. NO child should ever have to witness such a thing.

[Drahthaardogs]

13. It is messed up and we need to do something about it.

Mentally ill people are getting access to guns and killing little babies. It is time for the adults in the room to do something so this NEVER happens again.

[heaven05]

14. +10000

Especially the thousands of lives affected. Sad,sad,sad indeed.

[seabeyond]

15. i keep seeing the father, sittin at work, getting a message his kids school in a lock down,

jumps out of his chair, grabs his coats, yells to all that he has to get to the school. the co worker posting on du. and we all sit, waiting for information. concern... concern.... fuckin concern for this father, a stranger, a man we do not know. reliving running out of the office. waiting, ... to hear that he has his children, safe and secure.

and only to learn, to know, that running out of the office to the school was his last hope.

that his 6 year old son was among the babies.... babies.... that are gone.

i cannot get that out of my head.

out of all i heard yesterday and saw. that is the one that sticks with me.

[MrsBrady]

18. I was at work all day yesterday

are you saying there is a DUer's co-worker who lost a child?

[kag]

24. Yes. Here's the thread.

http://www.democraticunderground.com/10021978255

It's been updated since yesterday. Initially the subject line just asked us to pray and hope that this family might have been excluded from the horror.

[freshwest]

30. Oh, god.

[judesedit]

16. But maybe not on the day of this horror.There is enough sadness and anger without the NRA justifying

gun ownership. Do you want more deaths due to unstable people arguing about guns today? I don't. The law was not written so every idiot can carry a gun everywhere he goes and use it whenever he wants. If I'm not mistaken it was written so towns could form militias to HELP PROTECT their territory and the country. Not to go around threatening people to give you their stuff, go kill a girfriend, wife or mother you're pissed at, get drunk and shoot up the bar, kill some kid wearing a sweatshirt with a hood, eating skittles while walking home from the store. etc, etc, etc. The insane are better armed than the cops. Wake up, you gun-toting fools. Guns are for protection NOT to put power in the wrong hands. Sorry. I wasn't going to go there. I do NOT own a gun because I do NOT want to kill anyone. After the deed is done it's too late to ask questions.

[RainDog]

20. k&r n/t

[Lone_Star_Dem]

22. I always miss a stocking stuffer I've hidden someplace in the house.

I wondered yesterday if any of these children's mom's are like me. Buy little things for the stockings throughout the year, sometimes having to hide them quickly in an odd place because the intended recipient popped into the room suddenly. I usually smile and laugh at myself when I run across it in July while I'm getting out the party supplies for the big picnic, or whatever. Instead these parents are going to be forced to relive the horror of this Christmas, their unbearable loss, anew.

I don't know if I could survive what they're facing. I just don't. They're living through every parents worst possible nightmare.

[liberalhistorian]

23. The last two sentences especially resonate

with me. I have never understood the "logic" that calls for a doubling down on guns after these things, that more and more guns will somehow solve the problem and make the change. The solution to a problem is not more of the same problem. The solution to alcoholism is not more alcohol. So why do we always think that the solution to violence is yet more violence?

[Uncle Joe]

25. Kicked and recommended.

Thanks for the thread, kpete.

[mainstreetonce]

27. Another argument I heard

When I posted somewhere else about the need to do something about assault weapons I was told that I am the problem because the more people talk about gun control,the more people will stock up on guns before they are banned.

[Tsiyu]

28. Last night when I read a feed saying they were bringing out the victims' bodies

I knew that the parents would have to go in and ID their babies and I felt like I was going to pass out in grief for them.

Can you imagine having to walk in that school and tell the law enforcement that, yes, that little person was your own?

I had to log off and just sit and meditate and try to send the families and the LEO strength to get through it.

But they never will "get throught it." My heart is aching for them all today.

[deutsey]

31. I was thinking the same thing earlier today

as I reflected on this tragedy. This is a deep wound that will never completely heal.

[3catwoman3]

37. The word closure bothers me enormously...

...and is tossed around way too casually, IMO. I do not think closure exists in these circumstances. You are completely right that this wound will never heal. Gradually, as years go by, the pain will soften somewhat, but it will always be there. You pull yourself together and go on because you must, but you are forever changed.

When I was 26, my 23 yr old brother, my only sibling, died in 1978, while attempting under ice scuba diving and photography. Didn't drown. No equipment failure. Probably a cold arrhythmia. The reason doesn't really matter. He's gone.

It didn't happen in December - it was February. His birthday was in May, 3 days before my parents' wedding anniversary - no where near Christmas. Nonetheless, my parents never again put up a Christmas tree. They just couldn't bring themselves to do it. We were not a traditionally religious family, but enjoyed the holiday anyway. I especially enjoy Christmas carols. I can listen to them, I can play them on the piano. I can no longer sing them without choking up. Odd.

The early loss of a child or young adult has such far reaching effects. My early twenties 2 sons have no cousins. No one will ever call me "aunt." I cannot share memories of childhood with the one person with who I shared that childhood.

I do not post this here looking for sympathy, but to share a bit of perspective on just a few of the far reaching effects of losses such as these.

[deutsey]

39. Thank you for sharing that

I never knew my mom's father...he died the day after Christmas in a car accident when my mom was 12. Apart from the hole that left in my mom's life, it's left one in mine, too.

As you say about the loss of your brother, I never had a Grandpa to love and learn from. He never got to tell me stories that I'd be remembering to this day. He never got to see his great-grandchildren as my grandmother, widowed all these years, has.

Take care...

[MADem]

34. It's hard enough to lose a beloved family member in circumstances that are anticipated.

We all get older, and we die. Sometimes, there's a diagnosis of some deadly disease, and we have a chance to say farewell, knowing and dreading the day that will come. When the loved one is taken from us by a crazed asshole with a gun, there's grief, and there's simple rage. It's just not fair.

No matter what, though, when we lose a loved one around a holiday where families gather--birthday, Thanksgiving, Christmas/Chanukah, even the ever-shifting Ramadan, it fucks that holiday up for a long, long time thereafter. The loss becomes associated with the holiday, and it poisons the joy of the day(s).

Well, since the POTUS said now IS the time to talk about this issue, and do something about it, I think we'd better do just that. And the people in Congress who are too busy stuffing NRA cash in their vest pockets with one hand and scratching their nuts with the other had better get onboard or get the hell outta the way.

It's past time that we returned to sanity. It's a crying shame it took 20 dead babies and six adults to make that so. Time to throw the NRA on the trashheap of bad ideas, with Faux News and Grover Norquist.

[Plucketeer]

35. I'm a "boomer"

I'll bet I'm not alone in recalling Sunday afternoons in front of the TV - watching Westerns and War Movies with my dad. It was all about WHO triumphed over WHO with a gun. The baddies, the agressors, the enemy - all were vanquished with the help of a firearm. Even the agressors initially got their way at the point of a gun. What could a kid (or even a grown-up) deduce from these fanciful bits of drama? Were not the Axis Powers a real threat? Gangsters, cattle rustlers, murderers - all put in their place in the end, with guns. Message delivered.
Sure, I wanted and HAD - cap guns, squirt guns, BB guns and even access to a .22 rifle in my childhood years. After I enlisted in the US Air Force, they taught me how to use an M1 and subsequently, an M-16. I qualified "Expert Marksman" by the way. I guess if I were ever forced to defend myself as an aircraft electrician, I would've held my own.

I CAN relate what it's like to be roused from your sleep to face a huge flashlight beam along with the gleam of a large, chrome-plated revolver flashing as you're interrogated. This was in a galfriend's bedroom while I was stationed overseas. I've often reflected as to how I might've fared if I'd groped for a gun of my own, had I had one at the time. I figure there's a good chance I would not be "witnessing" here and now.
Some years later - planning and preparing to move to the wilderness in pursuit of a simplification of life - I even bought a survival rifle to use in pursuit of game. I never shot that gun any more than to prove it's function. I actually feared it's potential if wrested away from me, so I sold it to an uncle who's always maintained an arsenal.

But here's the point of what I'm saying here...... We Americans have been raised on a pablum of might makes right. And guns make "might" a possibility for almost every one of us. Beyond guns themselves, there's the gladiator culture of "kicking ass" in any venue one can think of. Competition is not the breeding ground of civility - not like the thin veil we tout as "sportsmanship". We don't outscore our opponents - we slaughter them. We don't simply win - we kill them. What's that say about the sub-current mindset? And yet we continue to crank out the candy of ass-kick to this day - video games and "entertainment" glorify and promote the proliferation of tools that spit death.
I find it incredible that some can defend guns as a means of sport. I always say - when given a chance - that guns were not invented to answer a plague of bullseye targets. They were conceived as a way to cast a pellet of metal accurately so as to cause bodily (possibly fatal) harm to another living thing. The flimsy "sport" angle is just a way to stay proficient should the previous scenario seem necessary.
The ridiculous assertion that ALL of a society's populace should be packin' as a means of prevention is SO silly that I refuse to even talk about it with anything but derision. To think that this could be a panacea for our plauge is just nuts. We must certainly be the laughingstock of nations that have much more severe controls over firearms than we do. We're a nation of warriors - and we've purposely made it that way. Wake Up America? We spend SIXTY PERCENT of our national budget on defense (death tool) hardware! SIXTY PERCENT and yet not even the TINIEST mention of that bloat while discussing Medicare and Social Security.

[obama2terms]

36. I think I am sick because of it I feel like crap

I wish there was something we can do for the families ( if there is I would love to know!) I can't imagine how the parents of all these kids feel. I had a hard enough time going to sleep thinking about it, but I couldn't imagine how the children who saw their friends or teachers being shot felt last night. This is so unfair and it shouldn't have happend, these weren't adults or even high schoolers they were little bitty kids that have done literally NOTHING bad in their lifetime. They should be at home with their families excited about "Santa" coming to visit, but because of some crazy nut who should have not been within two feet of a gun they don't get to do that. R.I.P. Little Angels

[cantbeserious]

38. What We Need Is More People Standing Up To Gun Apologists And 2nd Amendment Advocates

eom

[TRJuan]

43. Fuck gun control

It is time to talk about complete and total confiscation of all guns in America. We should be more civilized than automatic bullet hoses and the god damn second amendment to the ancient ass constitution.

Ban them all now!

[PatrynXX]

44. haven't actually gotten my head together on this

was pretty much numb Friday . it's saturday. doing things on routine. but walking outside seems all I can do to calm down. in the winter....

[Major Nikon]

45. I also think about all the parents that have to explain this to their young children

[ReRe]

46. What makes the pain of loosing a loved one in this wasy so much worse...

... is the fact that no one seems to be doing anything about it.

[Pretzel_Warrior]

47. Knr

[lupinella]

50. K&R n/t