Caption this:

[japple]

[cthulu2016]

1. Lying to prospective Wife #4

[customerserviceguy]

13. You win. n/t

[sakabatou]

2. "GOOOOOOOAAAAALLLLLLL!"

[KansDem]

3. "Next time you're found, with your chin on the ground..."

There a lot to be learned, so look around

Just what makes that little old ant
Think he'll move that rubber tree plant
Anyone knows an ant, can't
Move a rubber tree plant

But he's got high hopes, he's got high hopes
He's got high apple pie, in the sky hopes

So any time you're gettin' low
'stead of lettin' go
Just remember that ant
Oops there goes another rubber tree plant
Oops there goes another rubber tree plant
Oops there goes another rubber tree plant

[lwo]

4. Humility

I come before you humbly. In fact, I'm the most humble man on the face of the earth. And I'm proud of it.

[Laurian]

5. Charles Durning - Best Little Whorehouse in Texas

Apologies to Charles Durning because I've always enjoyed his work, but Newt reminds me of the character ( a politician, no less) Charles Durning portrayed in The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas.

[11 Bravo]

6. I love my country t-h-i-s much! (That's why I must cheat on my spouses!)

[pkdu]

7. Who stole my damned PIE ! n/t

[felix_numinous]

8. 'All bullshit aside...

uh, i mean..."

[BadgerKid]

9. My accordion, it's about....this big. n/t

[pkdu]

10. ..and then , when my head gets this far up my ass.....

[lovemydog]

11. hoping my toupee stays on

[DefenseLawyer]

12. "A stupid person's idea of what a smart person sounds like." n/t

[Warren DeMontague]

14. "I dreamed a dream..."

[rustydog]

16. Newt's long-lost sister?

[rustydog]

15. Some call them "Mistresses" some call them congressional aides

Hey, I've been forgiven by Jesus! go to hell!

[Warren DeMontague]

17. "and so I said, I will need this much additional stretching in my sphincter

...to accommodate the concomitant growth of my cerebral containment vessel"

[GreatCaesarsGhost]

18. "Dancing Queen"

His cell phone just rang.