Paula Deen ate my teenage daughter By Mark Morford

[madokie]

" target="blank">Burger King home delivery! That's right, America's No. 3 fast food death machine is testing the bringing of Whoppers, BK Stackers and other grease-related, food-like items that are so full of salt and sugar and fat and synthetic hormones they will make your blood turn into glue and your face turn into Paula Deen, straight to your door!

It's totally wonderful and awesome in the way that getting a free colonoscopy with every punch in the face is awesome, in the same way that every hit of meth rots out one more tooth is awesome, in the same way that being Newt Gingrich's miserable third wife must be totally awesome.

Best part: you barely have to lift a finger. Just enough to tap a few buttons on the site/app, and within an hour, not-so-fast food will be killing you and your family faster than you can say "Damn liberals stop telling me what to eat!"

In related news, Taco Bell has reportedly developed a method of cramming its patented, fake taco meat into .44 caliber bullet casings, which, for $.99 a round, it will shoot straight in your heart over and over again, until you collapse. The Taco Bulleto™ is coming soon to a drive-by near you. ...


(Full URL: http://sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/g/a/2012/01/25/notes012512.DTL&nl=fix)

[liberal N proud]

1. Too many of Burger Kings customers were to overweight to get into cars

So they have to deliver to keep those customers.

sugar coated, deep fried starchy potatoes should not be considered vegetables .

[leveymg]

2. The Hummer was originally a clown car design for Ronald McDonald