Jesus Christ Files Lawsuit Against GOP For Slander

[DainBramaged]

Jesus Christ filed a lawsuit today in the New York Supreme Court against the Republican National Committee for what he is calling “egregious misrepresentation of his statements and image.”

One of the attorneys representing Christ had this to say:

“For years Republicans have proclaimed their love for and loyalty to Jesus, yet their actions are highly contradictory to what Mr. Christ preached. Instead of helping the poor and the sick GOP instead punishes the poor and the sickly.

Our client isn’t telling the GOP what their agenda should be, he simply wants them to stop using his name when their actions contradict everything he stood for.

If the GOP would like to continue using his name they have to start making a significant effort to help the poor and the sick, instead of the rich, and start promoting a more peaceful agenda.”

When asked about the lawsuit, House Speaker John Boehner made the following remarks:

“Mr. Christ is entitled to his opinion, however the GOP believes that the underlying message in the Bible is that giving tax cuts to the wealthy is the true path to happiness.

http://www.freewoodpost.com/2013/06/01/jesus-christ-files-lawsuit-against-gop-for-slander/

[IrishAyes]

1. IT'S ABOUT TIME!

Clearly things can't be allowed to continue as they have been.

A long time ago, Jesus had plenty to say about wolves in sheep's clothing. He must've known the GOP was coming.

[kentuck]

2. Where has Jesus been all this time??

[IrishAyes]

4. If you're not looking

You'll never find out; something you have to do for yourself. Don't try to blame me via silly challenges.

The better question is, why has mankind in general allowed all this tragedy to go on?

[We People]

8. Hey, maybe you should save your Ire for the right wing hypocrites who cause these things

But I do understand how grave this whole matter is. If more evangelicals and church goers would actually listen to the words of Jesus and be followers of his teachings instead of being hypocritical Christianists, maybe the rest of the world would be able to see the evil being practiced by sold-out lawmakers & predatory capitalists.

[zeemike]

9. Now you understand why Jesus had to die.

To make the world safe for predatory capitalism...it really pissed them off when he ran the money changers out of the temple...something had to be done.

The Christians of today would have been the Pharisees in 33 AD. and we know what he thought of them.

[arely staircase]

10. this

and not all Christians would have been the Pharisees.

[IrishAyes]

21. Now there's a beautiful soul. I love that man.

[We People]

13. Amen n/t

[IrishAyes]

16. I'm prone to spread that ire around w/o regard to political or theological pews

It is just as counterproductive for the left to kick me for having any religion at all as it is for the right to twist it beyond recognition into something truly evil.

Not saying you're necessarily going to do either of those things; I don't know if you're atheist, agnostic, or some other religion entirely. What I do know is that too many people on this website take an outright stormtrooper attitude, wanting to stick God for humanity's failings.

People messed this world up. We won't get anywhere by misplacing blame or failing to take responsibility for our own collective part in the problem. That's just a cop out.

For what it's worth, I do consider most fundies to be at least somewhat mentally ill, and the farther to the right they go, the sicker they are. And I happen to be delighted with the OP.

[calimary]

3. I wish!!!

[PatrynXX]

5. like hello Jesus did say pay the taxman

whoops. swear most GOP have no idea whats in the new book.

[IrishAyes]

20. Speaking of new books

Does anyone know if Cheney's wife and daughter ever finished their updated translation of the Bible? The one where they wanted to purge every hint of the social gospel? I know a lot of GOP wingnuts stood ready to pony up for a copy.

[Shrike47]

6. I bet he's got a great law firm. I'd like to be on that Dream Team!

[hrmjustin]

7. Praise to God he finally got around to it!

[LeftInTX]

11. It would be fun to get a bunch of people in a bunch of cities

that look like Jesus. Put robes and sandals on them call themselves Jesus Christ and have them file lawsuits against the GOP. Of course, it wouldn't get anywhere, but it would make the local news!

"A man posing as Jesus Christ is filing a lawsuit against the Republican Party".

If it happened often enough sooner or later people would start believing it - especially the Fundies.

[CJCRANE]

14. Christian groups should reenact the Sermon on the Mount.

I don't understand why they don't already. These are the central teachings of Jesus.

In contrast to Tea Party groups there could be Beatitude Party groups.

[IrishAyes]

17. You might be on to something there.

Of course the TP's would declare the BP's commies.

[LeftInTX]

22. I think some of these "Christians" are more about something else

I often think about televangelists and there seems to be no connection to the beatitudes. Pastors at megachurches are often millionaires. We've got several of them where I live. They have huge congregations. The focus of these churches seem to be national defense/patriotism, defense of Israel, prosperity, morality, God's judgment etc.

When patriotism and morality become a major focus in a church, I think the beatitudes get thrown out the window.

[YeahSureRight]

15. It will only work if the people playing Jesus look like Jesus of the bible

not the blond hair blued white dude people think is Jesus and they will have to be able to do a few magic tricks too to support their claim of being Jesus.

What I think Jesus/God should look like

http://www.solesdigital.com.ar/Galerias/George-Clinton/10-george-clinton.html

Who could possibly forget the sermon at the Mothership!???

[IrishAyes]

18. I'm not terribly fond of pictures that portray Jesus as Eurocentric Caucasian

That looks too much like me, and I've never confused my own identity. The historical Jesus, regardless of a person's opinion on the question of divinity, was Middle Eastern Jewish and that's my preference regarding artwork. Admittedly it's hard to find, but has become easier in modern times. When I see any of the Holy Family depicted with blond hair or blue eyes, it feels creepy.

When you try to explain to most fundies that the religion to which they pay occasional lip service is actually Oriental, they'll chase you down the street yelling bloody murder.

[Mr. X]

12. Whats scary...

Is how many people think that this is a real story.

It isn't. It's satire.

[IrishAyes]

19. Satire is wasted on fundies

But then I suspect you know that already. They read the Onion and think it's either true or a deliberate actual lie. Satire flies right over their little pin heads.

[Grateful for Hope]

23. Love it!

Thanks for posting this. K&R

[DainBramaged]

24. For Boehner Boy and the House Republicans