Glenn Beck’s teary-eyed silent monologue: ‘My vocal chords [sic] are paralyzed’

[warrior1]

http://www.rawstory.com/rs/2013/06/11/glenn-becks-teary-eyed-silent-monologue-my-vocal-chords-sic-are-paralyzed/

Conservative talker and professional conspiracy theorist Glenn Beck announced Monday that he has temporarily lost his voice. On his web-only The Blaze TV broadcast Monday, he delivered the news over dramatic string music with the help of handwritten flash cards.

“Doctors told me Friday,” he said by way of the flash cards. “My vocal chords [sic] are paralyzed.”

The condition, he said, is temporary and reversible, but the loss of his voice has apparently got Beck thinking about his role in society. In his silent monologue, he expanded upon his remarks from the Talkers Magazine convention on Thursday, in which he apologized for being so “divisive” and only wishes he could go back and state his truth in a less plangent way that wouldn’t have set people “at each other’s throats.”

[hlthe2b]

1. Forgive me if I am rather cynical on this one...

Another despicable stunt for publicity? Or a much deserved karmic "reward"?

[Tom Ripley]

22. Coke throat (n/t)

[kestrel91316]

26. He's probably got mild laryngitis and was told to STHU

by his physician, so he decided to be melodramatic about it.

I catch a bad cold/bronchitis pretty much every winter and have to use flash cards at work for a few days. But I don't go all pity party and claim my vocal cords are paralyzed.

[dixiegrrrrl]

2. There is a god...........

a temporary god, sounds like
but still...

[catbyte]

3. I'm sure he'll find a way to blame President Obama for it

I don't believe him, however, I don't believe ANYTHING he says.

[JHB]

11. Should we start a pool on what he'll claim?

I'll go with "secret implant".

[catbyte]

14. Sounds about right, or some sort of "microwave" aimed at him

[siligut]

25. Could a microwave do that?

Maybe if aimed at the speech center of the brain, but it wouldn't paralyze him physically, just mentally.

[JHB]

32. If a microwave paralyzed him mentally...

...how would he be different from now?

[siligut]

23. I am sticking with curse

http://www.democraticunderground.com/?com=view_post&forum=1002&pid=2999948

It is just too convenient that loudmouth Beck loses his voice at a time like this, he has to claim is is some evil power trying to keep him from "informing" his adoring public.

[lame54]

24. His hemorrhoids are spreading

[DetlefK]

4. Wasn't he going blind two years ago? What happened to that?

[Ilsa]

8. Googled it. 2010, he said he was diagnosed

with macular dystrophy and could go blind in a year. Typical liar.

[Frustratedlady]

5. God works in mysterious ways!

Is this another Vicks trick?

I find it amazing that when all these scandals are hitting the fan, Beck loses his voice? The timing is delicious.

[KansDem]

6. Glenn at a jam session...

Glenn, try substituting a C7(b9) chord there.
A what?
C7(b9) chord
I still don't understand
Okay, okay: A C7(b9) "cord"
Oh, okay, I got it now!

[UTUSN]

7. Joseph SMITH doesn't want him, either. n/t

[siligut]

9. I am surprised he hasn't claimed to be cursed

Or has he?

[sibelian]

10. I see.

How ironic.

[reflection]

12. What a narcissistic fuckknuckle. n/t

[tanyev]

13. Only thing missing is full 'sad clown' makeup with a few tears painted on.

[hobbit709]

15. We should be so lucky that his vocal chords become paralyzed permanently.

[Beaverhausen]

16. He called Michelle Obama a "monster" and "Lady Macbeth" the day before

He's out of his mind.

[6000eliot]

17. If only!

We should BE so lucky.

[ZRT2209]

18. God works in mysterious ways. Preach your hate by flashcard, asshole.

[FSogol]

19. How did he miss becoming a televangelist? His grifting would have made him super-rich.

Bad guidance counselor? Poor parenting? Wrong place at the wrong time?

[skip fox]

20. A CAPTION for ol' Head Wreck!

Head Wreck is "saying": "I've said a lot of words in my time. Before I sobered up, these were often dark words that shoved people's faces in the toilet bowl and flushed, or pointed words like sharpened umbrella pikes to goose old ladies with, or words like fecal stew to smear on people's faces, or stinky little words like used enema bags to squirt on people's salads. . . . But these days my words are good and of use, pointing out the traitors among us, the miscreant and vile, the sodomites and spies, the haters of America who need stomped into the ground, broken, exhausted, and defeated. . . . Words of love and concern, in other words."



***************************************
Here's the real story at Huffington Post:

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/06/11/glenn-becks-vocal-cords-temporarily-paralyzed-tearful-monologue-cue-cards_n_3421174.html?utm_hp_ref=media

[Tom Ripley]

21. "And I can't feel my face!"

[Phentex]

33. LOL!

[sad-cafe]

27. poor baby

not...

hope it is forever

[Arugula Latte]

28. Gawd done smited him!

[arely staircase]

29. has God struck him moot?

or is it Obama's NWO?

[Lex]

30. He should take the hint from God, and STFU. nt

[SwissTony]

31. What a load of BS.

I'll bet he's "cured" soon...like tomorrow?

[Berlum]

34. ...after the donations roll in....

[Quantess]

36. No, he'll milk it even more by smearing vicks vaporub in his eyes.

...fake crying while showing flashcards. Probably dressed up in an SS uniform, too.

[Quantess]

35. Histrionics taken to a new level.

At first I was like this

Then I was like this:

I can't believe there are people out there who eat this shit up. Glenn Beck is the charlatan of the decade.