Just when you think you've effing heard it all. "Who wants to serve a billionaire?"

[snagglepuss]

Prepare to gag. This is a jaw dropping piece about learning to serve billionaires on their super yachts- learning servility is a must.

snip

Trainees must memorise correct forms of address from a training manual, which informs them that it is unacceptable to ask "Why?" (it should be substituted with "May I know the reason?&quot . The inquiry "Are you done?" should be replaced with "May I ask if you have finished?".

Trainees are told that some guests may request that they stand silently on board deck, motionless in the sunshine, waiting for instructions. "It's stupid, because they could use a buzzer," Gilmore says, but much of the staffing on yacht businesses is about ostentation and if a motionless steward, standing by on deck is what the owner requests, then staff are not to argue.

He tells trainees they must never wear sunglasses while addressing guests on board a yacht, because guests want to see be able to see their eyes.

snip


A daily list of housekeeping tasks includes polishing the television remote control and checking the towels for stray threads, which need to be chopped off with nail scissors. Students learn that they must monitor the bathrooms and lavatories, and are given guidance on the correct amount of time they should pause before they can scurry in and tidy up after a guest, refolding the end of the loo paper into a pointed V. "Be aware when people have used the rest rooms. You must be their shadow, but not too close," Gilmore explains.





http://www.guardian.co.uk/money/2013/jun/24/who-wants-serve-billionaire-superyachts

[NaturalHigh]

1. That's pretty revolting.

I can't say that it surprises me, though.

[DonCoquixote]

2. Make no mistake

The Millionaire who want to imitate the billionaires will bring this right to your workplace.

[AndyA]

3. Did they consult Ann Rmoney?

She would no doubt have some suggestions to keep "you people" in their place. After all, it's bad enough that they must even tolerate having such lower class humans around to serve their needs.

If you ask Ann, she will tell you she vomits in her mouth almost every time she has to deal with a subservient person (which is a lot, because she's supreme to almost all.)

[Initech]

18. You people stop it! This is hard!!!

[panader0]

4. "serve a Billionaire" with some fava beans and a nice red wine.

[hunter]

23. That's the first thing I thought of too...

... I figure you'd have to smoke billionaires like a ham to make them palatable.

[Scootaloo]

26. I have to go with a classic...

[meow2u3]

37. Don't give me any ideas

Grilled Billionaire sounds like an appetizing dinner.

[panader0]

38. Eat the rich

the poor have no fat and too much gristle.

[MrSlayer]

5. Butlers and servants have been around forever.

Wealth and privilege have always treated their "lessers" with disdain. Why is this a surprise to anyone? Yeah it's a shitty way to treat people but if you won't be happy with these conditions, you don't have to take the job.

[hobbit709]

6. Remember the scene in Arthur

"Should I wash your dick for you too, sir?"

[snagglepuss]

13. The DM last week ran a phote of a young girlfriend washing with her hand the a** of

her 80 yr old billionaire boyfriend while he stood in water with his pants down and she held a hose with her other hand.

[deutsey]

7. The wealthy will not be content until this is the new social norm

They still need to erase the few remaining vestiges from that uppity 20th century when the serfs actually succeeded in balancing the scales a little, though. Shouldn't take too much longer, though.

[CrispyQ]

25. Word.

They're working on it 24x7x365.

[geek tragedy]

8. Lots of people serve billionaires without knowing it.

Lawyers, accountants, etc.

[kentauros]

9. But, isn't this what valets and butlers are trained to do anyway?

I don't see the "gag" part. Now, I don't understand how butlers/valets put up with the people they serve, only that it must take rather special people for that kind of job to begin with.

I seriously doubt the people that want serving staff would ever ask for someone like Stephen Fry's "Jeeves" in Jeeves & Wooster, or "Benson" in Soap. Expect them to be more like Coleman in "Trading Places"

[snagglepuss]

34. For years the number of wealthy people who could afford butlers was diminsihing and

owners after WWII had to respect workers. Globalization has changed that. With outsourcing employees are now a dime a dozen. The treatment of servants described here is symbolic of the new reality for the 99%.

[kentauros]

43. I don't see the symbolism myself.

All I see are new rules for some servants, nothing more. That's their job, and I respect anyone that can do it. But I see no symbolism for the 99%, only people doing a nasty job the rest of us wouldn't be able to stomach for more than a few seconds. What's the symbolism of that part?

[HiPointDem]

10. wow. worse than the gilded age.

[Comrade Grumpy]

11. I would serve a billionaire...nicely braised and marinated, with a garden salad.

[jollyreaper2112]

15. wrong

Fava beans and a nice chianti.

[FarCenter]

12. Beats cleaning out the henhouse in August

[muriel_volestrangler]

16. Did you read about the jellyfish?

That, I think, is worse than cleaning out henhouses.

[FarCenter]

19. Apparently it pays better tho --

Jobs working in the big house have generally been preferred to working in the barns and fields.

What is described other than the jellyfish is not so different from standards of service at top quality hotels.

[Buns_of_Fire]

14. It depends -- can I choose what to serve them? nt

[Initech]

17. Polishing the TV remote? Why don't we just kiss their feet while we're at it?

[Buns_of_Fire]

20. What? And get peon germs on their dainty little hooves?

Besides, I think many of them prefer their smoochies on a slightly higher level -- if you get my drift (and I'm sure you do).

[snagglepuss]

42. "on their little hooves" LOLOLOLOL

That's brilliant. Thansk for the much needed laugh.

[cali]

21. that's nothing compared to this- from the same article

She appreciates that working for this kind of employer can be challenging. Recently, she heard of two yacht stewardesses who jumped into a jellyfish-infested patch of sea to create a clear swimming channel for one of the boat's guests. "She was really in the mood to go swimming, so they swam alongside her – they wanted to make sure she didn't get stung. They got stung to bits, and were in a bit of pain the next day. That's sweet, I think. They got a big tip at the end of the week," she says.

[Brigid]

27. There is only one possible reply to this:

[Nay]

33. OMG. That is so disgusting on so many levels that I know not where to begin. nt

[MoreGOPoop]

22. Oh, Helllllllll no!

Not for any amount of Kochmoney!

[CrispyQ]

24. "May I ask if you are finished?"

If they answer "No," does that mean "No you may not ask," or does it mean "No, I'm not finished?"

What a bunch of self righteous assholes who think their shit doesn't stink.

[DesMoinesDem]

29. That's what I was thinking.

If they answer yes, do they then ask if they are finished? Whoever came up with that question is an idiot.

"May I ask if you are finished?"
-Yes
"Are you finished?"
-No

[CrispyQ]

32. I'm still laughing over it.

[Lint Head]

28. The 1% want the majority to be servile.

This is the modern concept of slavery. No need for shackles or slave shacks. Violating these rules in society can result in job loss and more. I think this is the future unless there is a social revolution. Dying because you can't afford healthcare is just the beginning. Politicians are bought by the corporatists and their families. I fear for the future and my children's future world.

[Brigid]

30. I used to be sad that I couldn't have kids.

These days, not so much.

[Lint Head]

35. Some times I wonder if I didn't do something selfish by wanting children considering what the

country and the world has become.

[Brigid]

36. Not selfish.

More like normal.

[ck4829]

31. Will you have to be on your knees and bowing your head before filling out the job application?

For the obvious privilege of taking jellyfish stings for these people.

[LongTomH]

39. Time to bring out the "Eat the Rich" posters, bumper stickers, etc

[WinkyDink]

40. Reality Show:

http://www.bravotv.com/below-deck?__source=ggl|below+deck+|Below+Deck|G_AlwaysOn&sky=ggl|below+deck+|Below+Deck|G_AlwaysOn&gclid=CNX4tMbw_bcCFdGd4AodPFQAPw

[snagglepuss]

41. I clicked but it says the content is currently unavailble.

Does the show reflect what's in the article?

[WinkyDink]

44. I'll try again:

http://www.bravotv.com/below-deck/season-1

It's a typical reality show: all the annoyances in relationships; the hassles of work and employers. The actual show begins July first.