More on my friend who lost her food stamps.

[leftyladyfrommo]

I posted last week about my 67 year old friend who just lost her food stamps. She gets $800 a month in SS. She works part time at a store for $8 and hour and gets about $120 a week from that job. Her food stamps allowed her to have money to eat.

She was a hair dresser all of her life. Worked hard but was never able to save a lot. I've known her for about 30 years and I can attest to the fact that she was always frugal. But when you don't make very much to begin with it's very difficult to save much money. When you do get some extra cash there are always things you need just to catch up.

She called me from the ER at North Kansas City Hospital. She needed a ride back to her car. A new part of her job became watering the outside plants. She was outside watering. It was 97 degrees and very humid. She collapsed and they had to call an ambulance for her. She has meniers disease - she gets dizzy easily- and being in the heat caused her to get really dizzy and she started throwing up. So off to the ER.

So a big part of the problem now is that she had no food. She ate a handful of nuts for breakfast. I tried to give her money to go get herself a good meal but she wouldn't take it. She was going to go to McDonald's and get a dollar meal.

Up until two years ago she was doing OK. But her business fell apart because people just don't want to go to an old hair dresser. She had to give up her shop and that caused her to lose her clientele.

It's amazing how far you can fall through no fault of your own in just a couple of years. And the really bad part is that once you get older you are just so limited in ways to support your SS income. No one wants to hire an older person.

She just wants to give up - and I didn't have any answers. I could very well be in the same shape she is in another two years.

I did talk to her about finding a subsidized apartment. That would really help. But it is hard for her to face the fact that she may now need to live in an older people place. She has always been really vital and active and does not think of herself as "old" at all. The idea of living with people with canes and crutches is a really hard one for her to handle. It would be hard for me to handle it too.

Welcome to old age in America.

[closeupready]

1. Sorry if you mentioned this previously - does she have a home?

Can she plant a garden to supplement her food stamps?

[leftyladyfrommo]

3. No, she lives in an apartment.

She planted some flowers but the apartment complex dug them all up for some reason.

She could raise some potted veggies I guess.

I'm going to talk to her about going to a food pantry. It sure would be better than no food.

It is so hard to give up your pride. I know that is going to be a very hard part for me to deal with, too.

[closeupready]

13. Yes, a food pantry is an excellent idea. Some other ideas:

A crockpot! You can cook meals in advance and put portions in the freezer. Things like beans or cheap cuts of beef and pork. Make stews from carrots, celery and whatever protein you want to add. And some kinds of crockpots are cheap.

Also, ethnic markets carry produce for the lowest prices and typically you can select your own sizes rather than, as with many supermarkets, buy family-sized or not at all.

Wishing your friend good luck at getting to better times.

[Cleita]

44. These are ideas that could work but don't. In my case the nearest food pantry is

ten miles away. With the price of gas hovering around $4 a gallon, it's not a good or helpful solution. I myself plant salad greens in pots, but that is about all you can do and there are many problems with home gardening that often have fixes that are costly, like making pest barriers so your crop isn't harvested by critters and birds before you get it. Also, since electricity got sky high, pumping water isn't as simple as turning on the hose. If you have well water it has to be pumped and that requires electricity.

She needs the food stamps and an increase in income to cope with our rising cost of living.

[IdaBriggs]

2. Sounds like she needs a roommate.

Does she have an extra room?

[leftyladyfrommo]

4. No. One bedroom apartment.

Just that one little apartment is $600 a month, I think. One bedroom, little kitchen and bath, and a small living room and dining area.

[IdaBriggs]

12. If a one bedroom is $600, odds are a two bedroom is $800.

Divide in half = $400 per month. The apartment complex may even have some available. Roommates can be found on Craigslist, and she may be able to find someone in a similar situation to her.

[leftyladyfrommo]

19. I know that would be one way to go.

But boy, I would just hate trying to adjust to a roommate at my age.

Having to completely readjust yourself to life with just about nothing is very, very difficult. It's just a huge adjustment to make.

[IdaBriggs]

21. Readjust your life to living with someone in a private home with food --

which challenges include living with a roommate whose opinions and habits you are unfamiliar with, or picking between starving or living in a "senior" place where she might share a room with three bedridden neglected people while her prized possessions are stolen by underpaid/overworked/non-caring staff.

NOTE: Not all staff in senior facilities are underpaid, overworked or non-caring, but those that are can make life a nightmare for their charges.

Tough call. The only question is how strong her survival instinct is, and what she is willing to do to accommodate it.

Living with other people is *NOT* the end of the world, and in fact may significantly improve the quality and length of her life (assuming she lives with someone who doesn't drive her crazy, of course).

Privacy is a relatively new norm; in earlier times she would be taken care of in a multi-generational home, and have to adjust her standards of living accordingly.

Of course, in earlier times she might very well be dead already due to the increases in life span / better hygiene / etc. but since her current options are finding a way to live above the ground, or getting buried beneath it, time for some realistic financial planning -- she cannot count on this Congress to help her out, so she will have to do what she has done her entire life, and take care of herself appropriately.

I wish I could offer more cheerful options, but in this case, I am trying to be realistic.

[marybourg]

36. I think you're confusing subsidized senior housing,

with a nursing home (and a bad one at that) .

[IdaBriggs]

40. I am aware of the differences. I am currently aware (in Michigan)

that several of the local nursing homes are referring to their services as "subsidized senior housing" type stuff. There is usually a wait list, and the person starts in a private apartment while their health permits, then moves into more "full care" portions of the residences. It appears (altho my investigation on behalf of a now deceased senior family member is several years out of date at the moment) that some of the "bad ones" are barely one step up from being homeless.



I am told by a friend (who was investigating on behalf of a parent) that some of the "wait list" places for "pure apartments" are several years long, but perhaps it isn't so bad in her area?

In the meantime, taking personal control of her living situation (where she can control her roommates) seems like good sense to me. Having an extra $200 a month for food won't have her dining on lobster, and if she stays in the complex, she may be able to move in as little as a few weeks, possibly transferring a security deposit to make it a little to no cost transaction.

[Cleita]

64. I think this poster is confusing real life with

some ideology that is not realistic.

[Cleita]

63. When are you ready to readjust your life Ida?

Please tell me. When the rug gets pulled out from under you, are you willing to sacrifice your privacy after spending a lifetime working to protect it? Please tell me when privacy doesn't matter anymore? Of course, lately our government spying apparatus seems to think it's inconsequential. So are you willing to allow cameras and others in your life 24/7? Or, have you decided you really don't want to be a Kardashian? Many of us of a certain age also feel we should be respected for this.

You want to be realistic, but you really don't give a shit, do you?

[IdaBriggs]

68. I replied more down thread.

I am a fourth generation landlord, and for about four years I rented rooms on a weekly basis to people who couldn't afford monthly commitments (or preferred to save their money and wanted someone else to deal with things). Our rooms were for single adults only, and I lost count of the couples and families we turned away (because four adults in a four bedroom unit with one kitchen and bathroom shared commonly is different than adding a few more to that mix). Many of our tenants came to us because of "poor life choices" while we got a fair number of "surprised to be single" folk.

I am very aware of the price that privacy comes with, and it is from a purely practical point of view. I recommend looking at Craigslist housing advertisements for a glimpse of the cost of living in your neighborhood. Want a private bathroom? It costs.

Everyone makes choices; if the woman who is the subject of this thread doesn't start dealing with her reality - that she is living beyond her means because she can't afford food - She. Will. Die.

There are choices, and getting a roommate / moving to a two bedroom apartment is a reasonable option. She can also rent a room in a "share" situation (like we used to have), although there are challenges associated with that, too.

But first "Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs" kicks in: food comes right after breathing.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Maslow%27s_hierarchy_of_needs

[JustAnotherGen]

5. We aren't doing right by people

And that's that. I've been pretty vocal about my involvement with two Food Banks. Is there one near her? Does she need assistance navigating that?

I'm worried about a 67 year old woman who HAS to get by on McDonald's - I hate fast food to begin with. But the older one gets - the easier it is to inflict the damage.

So not only is she not eating - when she does eat - it has virtually no nutritional value - because the toxins and chemicals and 'fake shit' cancels out the good.

And this is America. We suck.

Honest - its not perfect. But canned tomatoes made into pasta sauce and pasta at least doesn't have the cholesterol and fat that is going to lead her to an early death. I've even made the point of bringing in 'dried herbs' and olive oil so people can give their food some flavor.

Look up - that's not me condemning her. It's how I would help someone in her situation that comes into the food banks I volunteer at/donate to who feels overwhelmed, defeated and ashamed (which they shouldn't - there are lots of folks food insecure in America right now) the first time they walk in the door.

[leftyladyfrommo]

7. Food stamps didn't bother her.

I don't think going to a food bank would. I'll ask her about that. I think there is one at the Catholic Church close to us. Shoot, I'll go for her if she's embarrassed. Wouldn't bother me.

[JustAnotherGen]

11. Please try

Also search for "Food Bank County State". It may open up a lot of opportunities out there. Good luck and good luck to her. There's no reason for anyone to be hungry in America.

[Voice for Peace]

45. it's also hard to be motivated to eat when you are

discouraged and broke. it's especially hard to
be motivated to prepare fresh meals.

I wonder if it begins in our neighborhoods, our
own neighbors. Government assistance, changes,
are unpredictable, and too slow even when
they work. It has to start with us.

Not far from here, a friend of mine lives in a
neighborhood which has virtually adopted a
homeless man. He lived in his truck and
now lives in his car, which he parks at the
end of the cul-de-sac. Neighbors share their
showers and meals, have coffee with the
guy, and more. He is part of the neighborhood,
he lives there. He's not alone. People treat
him with respect.

This doesn't help your friend directly -- but she
isn't too far from where I may be soon, so
it's provoking much thought.

I'm realizing I don't even know if all the
people on my own street have enough to
eat day to day.

[duffyduff]

6. Especially in this day and age, you have NO control over your financial fate

I get very upset with people who think that somehow you can control factors that are really out of your control.

I am going through much the same thing, having had my teaching career damaged if not ruined by asshole administrators, leaving me completely and totally destitute.

If I didn't have this couch at my brother's mobile home to sleep on, I'd be out on the street.

[leftyladyfrommo]

10. I know. I got forced out of my job.

I am in better shape than she is because I was able to work for a lot of years at a regular job. My SS is a lot better.

And I started pet sitting and was able to get enough customers to help me pay the bills. Most of my considerable savings flew out the window with two stock market crashes and a recession. And I have no one to help me.

Fortunately, I am really healthy - so far.

[Marrah_G]

8. Does she have a car?

If she does she might want to think about being a mobile hairdresser, going to nursing homes, retirement communities, elderly housing.... it's just a though.

And YES YES YES look into elderly subsidized housing for her. Also contact your local elder care agency for possible resources she doesn't know about.

I am disgusted by how we treat our elders.

[leftyladyfrommo]

14. She looked into that.

But she can't make enough to make it work. The cost of gas would eat up most of what she could make.

I still think she should look into something like that. I think she said she could only charge $10 or $15 for a haircut.

It's really hard to find a way to make enough to live when you can't work for regular companies any more. I know. I'm trying to do it too. And I have two college degrees. She didn't even graduate from high school.

[Sissyk]

22. The thing about cutting hair at a nursing home

or long term health care facility is the number of customers we can get at one place. That more than makes up for gas even if she only charges 10 to 15.

I have an Aunt that does this. She has three nursing homes she visits each week. 5 to 6 customers at each. I don't know what she charges but if it is only $15, that is $270 per week. She loves it, too! She's a chatterer! lol. That "extra" income is on top of her social security.

I know our Elderly should not have to work. It's a crying shame. But, some of them do. Some of them must find ways to get by.

I wish the best to your friend.

[MADem]

70. I have a friend who does this.

She averages about thirty bucks a customer, more if she does perms. She also does nails and feet.

If she goes to her customer's house, she uses her customer's water, towels, and all she has to do is bring the "product" as they say -- she gives 'em a hair wash, a trim, puts in the curlers or what-have-you, dries the hair, has a cup of tea and a cookie and a chat, takes her cash and it's on to the next one. She put her kids through college doing that--she's booked solid. She has so many customers that she can't take on any more.

Your friend should think about doing this particularly if she's a pleasant person. Lots of time, particularly with older customers, they like the COMPANY as much as the grooming care. If she's a nice person, she'll get repeat business. And nothing wrong with charging what a chain haircutter would charge--the customer is saved the bother of having to leave their home, and that has value.

[SoCalDem]

9. Older poor people will have to double/triple up to share costs.

My husband and I have already told our good friend that when she retires, she can come & live with us. She has no retirement and only has about 25K in her 401-k. Right now, her take home pay is about $1600 a month, but when she starts SS. her check will be in the low $800 range.

We are her safety net. Our house has 4 bedrooms & there are only 2 of us.

We've already told her she can stay with us & just chip in whatever she can.

[closeupready]

15. Bless your heart - you know how to be a true friend.

[leftyladyfrommo]

17. I only have a tiny house.

But she has a daughter that is a heroin addict - has been for over 20 years. That is a problem. I wouldn't want her daughter around at all. She steals everything she can get her hands on.

Life is just complicated . It's more than just finding a place and some food. We all have complications.

[hamsterjill]

30. This is what I see in MY own future, too.

We're going to have to all be doing like the "Golden Girls" and live with one another to share expenses. It's the only solution that I can think of, and even that may not work.

It is despicable how the elderly are treated in this country!

[SoCalDem]

31. In some respects, it may actually be a good thing

Many older people become isolated and depressed. Friends who can share, at least would have daily interactions and someone who could notice things they may not see themselves.... and the savings for stuff like utilities/rent..even transportation could be worthwhile too..

[hamsterjill]

42. Yes, it actually could be a good thing.

But the clincher here is that it should be someone's "choice" to do that (i.e., live with others) rather than a necessity. People who have worked their whole lives (as has the hair dresser who is subject of this thread) should really get to have a choice IMHO.

[Voice for Peace]

47. so.. that leaves another bedroom for another one of us... ?

[SoCalDem]

59. It's a really small one... We even call it "the closet-room"

[Voice for Peace]

60. I only have three cats, and a few personal items

[cali]

16. I'm close to being in the same situation as your friend

I too was doing OK until 2 years ago when I had a bad accident, shattering my leg and ending up with a nasty condition called Complex Regional Pain Syndrome. I can no longer work. I'm in constant pain despite taking a number of medications for it including oxycodone and lyrica.

I kept hoping I'd get better, but no dice.

I also lost my food stamps but I appealed and got them back. Has your friend tried that?

If it weren't for my ex-husband and son, I don't know what I'd do. My ex works on my old car when it dies. He bought me an air conditioner- the heat is a huge aggravating condition for me. He gives me rides to appointments when my car doesn't work. My son moved back to VT from CO to help me out.

I'm younger than your friend but man, it's hard.

[leftyladyfrommo]

20. And trying to live with all of that "worry" is so difficult.

It's not just the physical stuff but the mental stuff is huge.

[WillyT]

18. K & R !!!

[bunnies]

23. $1280 a month is about what I was taking home from my last full-time job.

I lost that though due to a worsening medical condition and now have no income. Its sad that this is the reality for so many of us in the "Greatest Country in the world". Your friend is very lucky to have you. I hope she knows she's not alone in her struggles and I really hope that she will accept your offer to help her eat. Its a very painful thing for some to accept things from others. Nobody wants to feel like a burden to people they care about.

I get so angry when I hear stories like this. Welcome to being poor in America.

[Spitfire of ATJ]

24. Those old guys with canes and crutches WILL hit on her....

....of course,....they're also the types to rail about the "filth" on TV,....as exposed in detail on FOX "News"....

[madmom]

25. You said she is getting SS. Is this her

"normal" SS she would get because of her being 67? I ask this because I know for a fact she can get disability for Menere's disease, my husband does. Might be something for her to check out.

[xxqqqzme]

26. Get her (and you also)

to start the paper work on subsidized housing. There is usually a waiting list. I live in a small subsidized complex (only 20 units) for persons over 60. It is gated, has an on site laundry room, electricity and water are provided and a garage is included in the rent (garages are usually additional rent in SoCal). I only pay for cable and gas. About 75% of the persons here are in their mid 70s to 90+ (some do have canes and walkers) but some still have jobs. It is on a bus line w/ 2 additional routes a block away. I was active in the community before I moved here. Nothing changed. Some complexes schedule bus trips for shopping.

Her rent would be a percentage of her income. But do the paper work NOW. If there is a council on aging in your county or city start there. They provided me w/ a list of rentals available. My daughter & I checked them out and I put my name on the list at 2 different places I liked. Moved in here about 10 months later. I was very reluctant at first but it is really a good move for me. The apartment is not so small that I feel cramped but not so big that I can't maintain it. I know what my expenses are going to be each month. So I am actually in better financial shape than I was a year ago. Less vulnerable to unexpected expenses.

If you rent now and suspect you could be in a similar situation in 2 or 3 years, get your name on a waiting list now. It gets harder and harder to move. I was 64 when I moved here. I don't know if I have another move in me.

Edit to add

Some complexes even have WiFi too. My neighbor two doors down is lobbying the management here for wifi for all apts. I let my next door neighbor use my wifi to skype w/ her grandkids away at college. Since living here I have discovered resources I didn't know were available because there is a liaison person in the office twice a week.

[glinda]

65. Good advice.

[tofuandbeer]

27. This is so sad.

One thing is for sure, if this nation was built under a God, he built it and left.

[Glimmer of Hope]

28. Does she have transportation to a food bank?

Some info here:

http://www.harvesters.org/GetHelp/Index.asp?Reference=Individual&~=

[link:http://www.harvesters.org/GetHelp/Index.asp?Reference=Individual&~=|

[TreasonousBastard]

29. I'm 66 and in better financial shape, but...

I can't help seeing that nightmare in my future when I can't work any more.

There are over 40 million of us over 65, and millions more getting there fast. But, although us baby boomers are becoming one of the largest demographics, we are being hustled.

Some of us are doing quite well, thanks to pensions, savings, and home values. Others, not so good. Most of us, however, are one catastrophe away from penury and living on the street.

The costs of an aging population are enormous, as Europe and Japan have found, and anyone who thinks about it will fall faint at the cost of the millions of us in nursing homes at $3-10,000 a month. The easy answer is to just cut whatever programs we have and hope for the best, letting the next generations in the legislatures handle it. Maybe they secretly hope we all just die off sooner and save everyone grief. After all, back when SS started, lifespans were shorter and not many collected for more than a couple of years.

But we are here now, and we are living longer, and senior discounts on the bus just don't cut it. A few bucks a year to join AARP for cheaper car insurance isn't helping either.

What do we do?

A new Gray Panthers?

On edit:

Wanna see something really scary:

http://johnsimonds.com/2005/10/19/more-on-maturing-workforce-of-the-population-over-60/

United States
Percent of population aged 60 and above in 1980: approx. 16.07%
Percent of population aged 60 and above in 2000: approx. 16.27%
Percent of population aged 60 and above in 2005: approx. 16.81%
Percent of population aged 60 and above in 2010: approx. 18.41%
Percent of population aged 60 and above in 2025: approx. 24.21%

[LiberalEsto]

32. Check with MARC Department of Aging Services

http://www.marc.org/aging/contact.htm

Maybe they can evaluate her needs snd find more resources

GOOD LUCK!

She can go to a senior center for a meal if she doesn't qualify for the home-delivered meals program:

"If you are found ineligible for home delivered meals and are aged 60 or older or are aged 18-59 and disabled, you may attend one of the MARC senior centers for a noon meal."

ALSO:
"For more information or to request assistance, fill out our senior assessment form online or call the Department of Aging Services at 816/421-4980. (1-800-593-7948 if you are outside the Kansas City area). "

More links: http://www.marc.org/aging/links.htm

[1monster]

33. I am concerned that your friend has Menier's Syndrome and is still driving a car.

Having suffered from that for two miserable years in my youth, I know just how dangerous that can be.

She does need to be on a strict schedule and have regularly spaced nutritional meals and to get plenty of sleep every day.
Stress makes Menier's worse.

Living in an assisted living facility or subsidized apartment does not mean she will give up her independence or her vital and active life style. Some of those older people really rock! There are various levels of subsidized apartments and assisted living places. Not all of them are rehab or go-to-die homes.

I wish you good luck and godspeed in helping your friend to a better place. (Have you asked AARP for advice? Is there a Council on Aging -- or some such organizaion -- in your town who might be able to help? Meals on Wheels?

[Cleita]

53. Exactly. I'm prone to dizzy spells and vertigo myself. It's not Meuniers but so far doctors have

not been able to pinpoint the cause. I have to drive. I'm miles away from the nearest store, doctors and shopping area. We have no bus service up here. There are senior shuttle services but they are very expensive, so drive I must. I try to keep in my head to pull over to the side of the road if I start feeling a spell coming on. I hope I have enough time to do it. There is no other option for me right now.

I actually looked at assisted living facilities and they are too expensive for me to afford even the ratty ones. I'm better off where I am for the present. I worry about the future though, a lot although I do everything I can, like go to the gym and eat healthy to stave off the creep of old age that might disable me. I know it's a matter of time before something snaps though and then it's downhill for me all the way.

Thank you Congress for all the wonderful laws you have passed to insure that senior citizens particularly old women get to look forward to hell in their old age.

[EC]

34. Think, "Golden Girls"

find others in the same spot, rent a bigger place and share.

[hollysmom]

37. that sounds like a great idea

but it is difficult to pull off. it is hard to have friends your age in the same area - my friends moved away years ago to Arizona and Florida, and some to the north others to the south. The few friends I have left that I can see, have other options. Compared to a number of friends, Ihave a lot of friends, but it is still not enough.

[Cleita]

54. Yes, that's just fabulous. We can all move to Miami and live in a sitcom.

[LuciaMia]

35. She had to give up her shop, but could she make housecalls?

Put up an ad at local supermarkets, and offer to come to people's houses to do their hair. Older folks who might find it hard to get out to a salon, or people who may just want the convenience.

[Cleita]

41. Has it occurred to you that old people, can't quite do the work young people do?

Hair styling requires a standing on your feet all day, bending your back and having hands that aren't arthritic. This woman needs a decent retirement that meets her needs. Taking away her food stamps is beyond cruel. I used to be an accountant, but my eyesight and arthritis have made me less efficient than a young person and prone to making more mistakes. I can't work at this anymore. Yes, I know you hear about the occasional old woman who outdoes young people half her age. But most of us aren't Wonder Woman and would like a dignified old age.

[leftyladyfrommo]

58. I've talked to her about this.

She just says that she can't make enough money that way. I still think it's a good idea if she could just find someplace to work part time. Her back and feet bother her too much to work full time. It would also get her out of the house and around other people for a while.

[Cleita]

38. Well, she's an old woman. Who cares! Never mind that she spent most her life working for

less that two-thirds what a man would make, making it hard to save for retirement. Never mind she didn't marry the right guy to leave her with a comfy retirement nest egg. Never mind that even if she were strong enough to work at a job, she will only get paid less than a teenage baby sitter. Never mind that when her health gives out, she will have to rely on social programs to eat......to survive....

Believe me I relate to this woman. Right now I do pet sitting and plant watering for people on vacation to supplement my social security. However, the jobs are spotty and sometimes I don't make anything. I would work, but there are so many young people out there hungry for jobs, any job, that old people can't compete in the job market. I'm fortunate. I live with family who rent their guest home to me and if I fall between the cracks will do what they can to help me out. But they too have their own family to look after as well as themselves. They both work and are close to looking at retirement themselves. They won't be able to carry the burden of me too.

Everyone I know on social security could do with an extra $1,000 a month. As a matter of fact, according to the old COLA formulas, before they were messed with 20 years ago, we should be getting just that. We have 2.6 trillion in the SS security fund. It could be done next month. Then we need to raise the SS ceiling so that wealthy people pay a larger percentage of their income into it. It will fix what needs to be fixed.

Also, all that extra money pouring into the economy will encourage growth, jobs and prosperity for main street as well as unfortunately Wall Street. It would give a large boost to the economy. President Obama I implore you. Save the old and disabled, many who are returning war vets. With an executive order I believe you could do this like you say you will do for climate change. It's the humane and decent thing to do.

[frazzled]

39. "people just don't want to go to an old hair dresser"

I'm a little befuddled by that statement. 67 isn't that old, certainly not "elderly." It's probably true that she's not going to get a "young" clientele, but there are plenty of women in their 70s, 80s, and even 90s who would be glad to go to her, and think she's young!

My mom (age 87) goes to a hairdresser who is no spring chicken herself, though quite perky.

Has your friend investigated trying to get business doing hair on site at various area nursing homes? I know that when we had my mother-in-law in a skilled nursing facility during the last few years of her life, they had hairdressers at the facility to do people's hair once a week, if they requested it (we also had to pay for it). (They also offered manicures as well, which is really nice for older ladies, since they can see their hands all the time.) That might be a way to supplement her income and be doing a service as well. Plus, she might realize that she is really quite young compared to these women in their 80s, 90s, and even 100s!

[Cleita]

43. I will say it again. Most old women are not Wonder Woman. We get old. We get weaker,

arthritic. We can't stand on our feet all day. Sixty seven is plenty old to be working when one should be slowing down and smelling the daisies. I thought we were past the days when we had to work until we dropped dead.

[LuciaMia]

46. Cleta, I understand....

It was just a suggestion. Only she can decide if this is something she can or wants to do.

[Cleita]

50. I'm sure she wants to but can't. Starvation is not an option. We need activism, but we

need young people to help us do it. There is strength in numbers. Old people don't like asking for help. Most worked all their lives and are humiliated by having to ask for help, but they should.

[frazzled]

51. Yes, I am 63 (just four years younger than this woman)

Although I don't consider myself that "old." (Perhaps because my parents are still living, at 96 and almost 88. My 96-year-old dad goes to the gym four times a week, putting in 100 miles on a stationary bike.)

And I understand how hard it is to get jobs or clients when you are over fifty. I also recognize how hard it is to live on Social Security alone.

But my point was that if, as the OP proposed, this woman still needs extra income, there are some options. I thought it would be nice for her to be able to continue her talents as a hairdresser at a nursing facility, which she could do only a day or two a week. I actually thought it might be uplifting for her.

All I got in return for this helpful intention was my head snapped off and a mini-lecture on aging. Not all people want to stop and smell the roses. Some people want to remain active for themselves or useful to society as well. Don't judge others by your own feelings of age.

[Cleita]

52. Good for you and all the old people who can do this. Many can not and a large portion of them

are old women and mostly widowed. I apologize for snapping your head off, but I don't know how else to call attention to a real problem. You are 63 and still able to do much of what you could do at forty. When you are 73, let me know how that is going for you.

[appleannie1]

48. The people that live in subsidized apartments are very active for the most part.

They are people just like her, trying to survive on SS. They have all kinds of activities in most of them. At least that is what I have found visiting relatives and friends that live in various high rises. Perhaps you could take her to see what the high rises in her area are really like. Some even have low cost bus tours to interesting places. The only down side that I have seen is that everybody knows everybody else's business.

[Cleita]

49. I know many who replied don't mean to be heartless, but

the fixes suggested are nothing less than that. This woman, myself and many like us, who are on the verge of walking over the precipice into homelessness and even starvation, need a real helping hand from the Social Security Administration. We worked all our lives, whether in business or in the home raising children. We paid into the system ourselves or through our husbands. Many of the companies I worked for are still around and doing well in the international global market. I like to think they got where they are through all the female worker bees, who kept the honey coming into the company, while they got cheated on wages and benefits.

Suggesting roommates, growing your own food or going out and working at jobs you aren't capable of doing anymore is really not looking at the problem compassionately and with an eye to real solutions. If everyone got as excited about demonstrating to save grandma and grandpa from starvation as they have been about gay rights and women's rights, this is the best way everyone could help.

[IdaBriggs]

61. Financially they are getting out what they are supposed to, plus

Some help with medical. Social security was and is not supposed to be all of retirement - it is supposed to supplement it. In theory, she is supposed to have paid off a home at this point (but would still have maintenance costs, etc.). Apparently she made adequate money such that she didn't feel a need to change careers to make more and now, since she didn't put other money away (most likely because she did what most of us do and lived paycheck to paycheck) she is screwed.

Now she has to cope. As I said, in prior generations she would not be living alone. Privacy is expensive. She cannot afford it. She is getting what she was promised, and bluntly, the current administration is not going to help her.

Being old is not going to save her from dealing with the current reality. I wish there were better answers, but if she didn't save money for her old age, I don't know of many people who will give it to her unless they are family.

[Cleita]

62. Dear Ida.

This is the meanest post I have ever seen on this subject. Even Paula Deen could not coat enough sugar on it to make it palatable. I don't think you are a real person. You have been here a long time, yet your posts seem to change in tone, grammar and style depending on the subject, yet they push a certain mindset.

Thanks for the tough love.

[IdaBriggs]

67. I am sorry if I came across mean.

This whole thread is extremely distressing, and I find myself frustrated I can't help. There is also a part of me that is angry she is shocked to be in the situation, and knows a little bit of the human nature that got her into it - hair dressing is a cash business, and I am sure she didn't report / pay all of her income into "the system" which would have increased her current payout because (in my experience) there is ALWAYS someplace for money to go - sigh, which okay, so put some away for retirement - but how many of us do that when we are struggling to live day to day? She undoubtedly received letters from SSA telling her how much she was going to get, but ...

The whole topic also got me thinking also about how we live, and what it ultimately costs. Women generally live longer, and bluntly, that means we need to plan to make our money last longer BUT we make less money than our male counterparts for the same jobs, and "sabotage" our income potential during peak times with child birth and rearing. (Mom of twins - five months of bedrest, one year full stay at home, then part time for a while, best kids ever, so still convinced it was the best decision, but I make decent money, so it cost us financially, and frustrating when I see the blank / lower earnings on my document compared to my husband's.)

I am real; I just have different moods. This thread inspires abject terror because even if you do everything right, save for retirement, pay off your house, plan for the time when your body requires more rest, etc. things outside of your control - economic downturns, Wall Street thieves, illness or family emergency, hurricane, tornado, flood - whatever! can still wipe you out financially, bringing everything back down to the utter basics: food, shelter, health, clothing....and shocker! Most people don't, which is why there is an entire industry out there squawking about this. ("The Wealthy Barber" guy, "Rich Dad" guy, "Smart Women" guy, Susie Ormond, etc.)

For many of us who bounce from financial crisis to the next paycheck, our plan is a simple one: there is nothing I can do about that now, so I will worry about it later, because, heck, with everything else going on in the world, I might not even make it that long anyway!

So again, I am sorry if I came across mean: collecting beanie babies is NOT planning for retirement (and yes, I have actually had that conversation in real life), and I am serious when I say privacy is expensive. I think the best thing to come out of this thread is reminding the rest of us to make sure we are paying attention to the future (women especially) while at the same time sending some of us into an outright tizzy because crap! That could be us in (fill in the blank years) - and we really can't say that it is going to be a surprise because the numbers were there all long.....(shudder)

[xmas74]

55. I still wish you were a bit closer to

Warrensburg. There is a senior complex, just renovated outside,encourages gardens,all ground floor,on the bus line and within walking distancing of the senior center and community center. Oh,and they are taking applications .

[leftyladyfrommo]

57. That would be great. n/t

[xmas74]

71. I'll find out the name of the management company.

They might have some in Jackson Co.

[leftyladyfrommo]

56. Thanks for all of the info.

I talked to her today about going to the food pantry. I told I would go with her. I got a phone number for her. She knows about the subsidized housing but she is the one that will have to check into that. Just trying to move all of your stuff to a new place is a pretty big challenge when you get older. You can't just pick it all up and throw it in a friend's truck like we used to do when I was younger.

I can't live her life for her. All I can do is make some suggestions. Then it's up to her to try and do some different things to make stuff better in her life.

But I really understand just how hard this all is.

People say that they will just work until they die. But you can't. Your health makes that impossible. She has feet and back problems from standing on her feet all of her life. She has meniers. We all have some kind of problems. I'm in really good health but I find it harder and harder to just stand up when I get out of a chair. My joints get stiff and it takes me a while to get everything moving again. It is a lot harder for me to see things clearly - even with new glasses. My hearing isn't very good any more and hearing aids are just so expensive. She and I both go to the dental school because it costs about 1/3 of going to a regular dentist. I also don't handle heat and cold as well as I used to. You just have to learn to deal with the changes that come
with aging because it just happens. Doesn't matter if you go to the gym all your life your joints still get stiff.
There is just no way I can compete with younger people. Just having more knowledge doesn't cut it. I'm just not fast enough, my memory isn't what it used to be and I just can't stand up under all the pressure. And I get confused a lot more easily than I used to. I have to take longer to just sort stuff out in my head.

[glinda]

66. Sometimes it is hard to do the paperwork as one gets older. Some one should help

her maybe with this part.

[Heidi]

69. Kick!