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Breaking: President Obama Reveals Plan for Zombie Army
http://www.newsyoucantbelieve.com/randomblogObama's Zombie Army to Replace All Troops in Middle East Wars
by
R. U. Kiding
Washington, July 22, 2013
In a shocking, secret conference, President Obama announced yesterday that technology developed by DARPA, in conjunction with several other agencies with letters of the alphabet in their designation, now enables the United States military to end the use of living human beings in war zones. By manipulation of genetic information stored in people who have died, they can be reanimated and will be impressed into service as soldiers on the ground in the Middle East.
An unnamed observer, who this blogger will call Mr. Z, quoted the President as saying, "I see undead people as our future in military operations outside of the US. By deploying the undead, we can realize savings of over $18 Billion per year in our operations in countries in that troubled region." Deployment of this zombie army is set to begin in 2014, following mid-term elections, as Mr. Obama moves into the lame duck period of his presidency.
Reaction to this announcement, which has not been publicly revealed, has been swift. House Speaker Boehner, speaking to a crowd of open carry activists, said, "This is unheard of. They'll be digging up the graves of your grandparents and sending them to war. What's next? This is a slippery slope. Does anyone have a bottle of Jack?" Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid, spoke briefly, saying, "This is a new wave of technology that will change warfare forever."
A White House press conference is scheduled later today, where this plan will be formally presented to the population at large.
by
R. U. Kiding
Washington, July 22, 2013
In a shocking, secret conference, President Obama announced yesterday that technology developed by DARPA, in conjunction with several other agencies with letters of the alphabet in their designation, now enables the United States military to end the use of living human beings in war zones. By manipulation of genetic information stored in people who have died, they can be reanimated and will be impressed into service as soldiers on the ground in the Middle East.
An unnamed observer, who this blogger will call Mr. Z, quoted the President as saying, "I see undead people as our future in military operations outside of the US. By deploying the undead, we can realize savings of over $18 Billion per year in our operations in countries in that troubled region." Deployment of this zombie army is set to begin in 2014, following mid-term elections, as Mr. Obama moves into the lame duck period of his presidency.
Reaction to this announcement, which has not been publicly revealed, has been swift. House Speaker Boehner, speaking to a crowd of open carry activists, said, "This is unheard of. They'll be digging up the graves of your grandparents and sending them to war. What's next? This is a slippery slope. Does anyone have a bottle of Jack?" Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid, spoke briefly, saying, "This is a new wave of technology that will change warfare forever."
A White House press conference is scheduled later today, where this plan will be formally presented to the population at large.
More at the link...
10 replies
= new reply since forum marked as read
= new reply since forum marked as read
They will be hard-pressed to find any "food," if you know what I mean.
Two from Tea Party folks I knew in high school ...
... and one each from Travis Smiley and Cornell West.
