Don't try contacting the National Do Not Call Registry

I couldn't tell you how many times I've registered my phone with them.

And I still get daily calls offering to refinance my (nonexistent) mortgage, lower my credit card rate, sell me a home alarm system or a walk in bathtub, extend my subscription to Readers Digest (that I don't have) or get all the viruses out of my Windows computer (which I also don't have).

It's one part of the government that could stay shut down IMO.

We get all of those, too, many times every day.

I have an assistant who is obsessed with those calls and reports every one. She is of the belief that those calls cost us money due to the time she spends answering them. The reality is that her 'solution' probably costs far more than does the 'problem'.

But she is such a sweetheart and so valuable to me that I could never mention it.

And get a lot of calls too. However, the combination of working on a computer all day and a ringtone on a smartphone that I really like, allows me some passive-aggressive joy. Phone rings (starts playing the Futurama theme) "Do-do-do-dododooo (humming while typing in the number in Google) Do-do-do-dodododoooo (clicking a link to a website dedicated to tracking telemarketer calls) Do-do-do-dodododooo (reading who it is) Do-do-do-d... Oh, they hung up. Aw."

TlalocW

Like where do they live, how many kids do they have, how do they like working in a telemarketing office, anything to keep them on the defensive and prevent them from launching into their spiel. I can keep them going long enough that even the dumbest ones finally realize they aren't going to make a sale and hang up out of frustration.

I'm proudest of the moment when Bill Jones (obviously an alias for some guy in India) told me to go fuck myself after 20 minutes of inability to get in his sales pitch about the virus in my puter.

Mind you, this was back in the mid 90s when phone companies were scrambling to offer internet service... It essentially went like this (jumping into the middle of the conversation after the initial sales pitch from the telemarketer, who was female)

Friend: I don't know... I'm pretty happy with my current phone service. They offer me X cents per minute on the weekends. Do you offer that?
Telemarketer: Yes, sir, we do!
Friend: Oh, really? Well, the other nice thing is that they bundle my phone and internet together into one bill, and I wouldn't want to lose that. Can you do that?
Telemarketer: Yes, sir, we can!

*he rapidly goes through several other things that he knows the phone company offers to condition her to keep saying yes.

Friend: Well, there's also the ten cents a minute phonesex. Do you have that as well?
Telemarketer: Yes si... I'm sorry, what did you say?
Friend: The ten cents a minute phonesex. Do you have that as well?
Telemarketer: *silence*
Friend: So... what are you wearing?
Telemarketer: *hangs up*

TlalocW

- I've registered and then re-registered and I swear there was an increase in spam calls each time. I've come to the conclusion that someone is hacking their database to confirm good working numbers or else they're selling them to the highest bidder.

because then I can tell them they're not supposed to be calling me.

All I ever get anymore are robocalls. No way to tell a recording not to call me again.